What is it with Cindy McCain’s eyes? Everyone’s noticed that there’s something odd about them. Even Katie Couric was caught in an unplugged moment omigodding about how weirded-out she was by Cindy McCain’s mysterious, odd-looking eyes:
“She looks like a husky, those weird blue eyes,” [Couric] said. “Cindy McCain has the most intense blue eyes … They were so intense, I couldn’t stop staring at her. She must have thought I was weird.”
To anyone who has ever enjoyed the opium poppy plant’s many wonderful by-products–Vicodin, Percocet, heroin, morphine, methadone, Codeine cough syrup, or just plain opium to name a few–Cindy McCain’s “weird blue eyes” are about as much of a dead giveaway about her real condition as, say, the folds in Trig Palin’s down-turned eyes are a giveaway about his Down Syndrome. (more…)
BREAKING WARNEWS!
You’ve probably heard by now that Al Qaeda just zapped the Marriott Hotel in Islamabad. A truck blew up while security was going over it with sniffer dogs. At least the dogs died happy, I suppose. Those sniffer dogs aren’t the furious anti-drug or anti-explosive types like you might think. They get a Milk Bone every time they find cocaine or fertilizer bombs, so the last sound heard by the tired foreigners bedding down at the Marriott last night would have been excited yipping and yapping, “Oh boy, this thing is so big they better give me a kennel-full of Liva Treats!”
The early reports are that these Teamster jihadis were looking for the Prime Minister’s house, where everybody who’s anybody in Pakistan was having a big hands-on feast. But they were “discouraged” by heavy security around the mansion and decided to head for the Marriott instead. (more…)
If you want to see a pure American evil puked up unrehearsed and uncensored, check out these Free Republic comments on the news that two people were killed and several more injured when a gunman started shooting in a Tennessee church. One wise Freeper says that “something tells [me]” the shooter “had a Quran in his back pocket.” Another just knows that the shooter’s identity is being protected because he’s a “minority.” The rest take the opportunity to make Unitarian jokes. (more…)
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