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Twinkie Defense: Mark Sanford

He knows his wife knows. So he ups and leaves for five days, doesn’t leave anybody in charge of the state, in case there’s an emergency…This is almost like: I don’t give a damn! Country’s going to hell in a handbasket. I just want out of here! … He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn’t want any part of it. He lost the battle and said “What the hell? The Federal government is taking over! I want to enjoy life!”

Rush Limbaugh on Gov. Sanford’s affair, June 25

So everyone is fuming about Limbaugh’s suggestion that the Federal government might actually be responsible for South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s infidelity. But Rush is not the first person to say so, nor is he the most authoritative. Thing is, Sanford blamed it on the Feds right off the bat, when he first admitted to having an affair on live network TV last Wednesday. (more…)

Posted on: June 27th, 2009 | Comments (19)

They’re Dead, Thank God

I just saw an article headlined, “Michael Jackson Dead Too Soon at 50.” Dead too soon, you sadists? The more fitting headline, if you have any heart at all, is “Michael Jackson Dead Not a Moment Too Soon”! Because if …

Posted on: June 26th, 2009 | Comments (32)

The Ninth Life Of A Berkeley Boomer

He may be dead now, I don’t know. He should have been dead long ago, but these early boomers, born in California, have many lives. From some angles, Alex’s life was clear proof of what spoiled, invincible brats they were, …

Posted on: June 9th, 2009 | Comments (48)

Depression Porn: How Banks Are Gaming The Real Estate Market

US Stocks Gain On Report Of Pending Home Sales . . . Pending Home Sales Rise the Most in Over Seven Years . . . Consumer Confidence Spurs Broad Gain . . .

You see the same bullshit headlines …

Posted on: June 5th, 2009 | Comments (36)

Meet The Horrible New Obama-Era Elite, or “All The President’s Middlebrows”

Last week, Obama moved another step closer to creating the ultimate retro-70s Middelbrow-ocracy when he appointed a loathsome overachieving hamburger-head named Cass Sunstein to a little-known but highly-powerful government post: director of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs—otherwise known …

Posted on: May 22nd, 2009 | Comments (38)

My Autocrat’s Worse Than Your Autocrat: Corruption Galore In The Washington Post

(This article first appeared in TheNation.com on May 11, 2009.)

The May 7 edition of the Washington Post features one of the most poorly timed op-ed commentaries in recent memory. Carrying the harmless headline “A Friend to Georgia and Russia,” it features …

Posted on: May 12th, 2009 | Comments (16)

Less Than Kudlow: Is CNBC Host Suffering Another Cocaine Relapse? (Article + Radio Version)

Listen to Ames talking about the cocaine-fueled comedy that is CNBC’s Lawrence Kudlow. This segment was aired on Los Angeles’ KPFK radio on April 21, 2008, on the show “Four O’Clock Tuesdays With Gustavo Arellano.”

Why does CNBC host Lawrence Kudlow …

Posted on: April 22nd, 2009 | Comments (15)

Free Texas! And If They Won’t Go, Give ‘em a Kick (Backstabber Version)

(This post was published on Playboy.com)

There’s word out this week that the governor of Texas, Rick Perry, has thrown his support behind a bill that would declare sovereignty for the state of Texas. The bill is called HCR 50, and it’s …

Posted on: April 17th, 2009 | Comments (34)

Sylvia Plath’s Son?

Most Recent Photograph of That Guy That Plath Popped Out
(bottom right; circa 1962)

Sylvia Plath’s son died yesterday. That’s how it was reported, even by the BBC. The dead man’s name was Nicholas Hughes, not Plath, but in death we learn …

Posted on: March 24th, 2009 | Comments (29)

God Awful Morning: James Frey Is Killing My Toe

I got out of bed this morning and told Katherine, “Hey, I think my foot is bet-” At which point my gouty big toe slammed into the table leg. When I finished howling and bouncing around on the other …

Posted on: March 19th, 2009 | Comments (25)

He Stole It All from A Cockroach: A Lesson In Why You Shouldn’t Become A Poet

Robert Creeley: Great Poet or One-Eyed Interspecies Plagiarist?

Here are two pieces of twentieth-century verse. One has been called “…the most often quoted, even the most widely known, short poem” of the 1960s; the other is from a long-forgotten …

Posted on: March 17th, 2009 | Comments (3)

Raising Bristol: Freepers Deal With The Bastard Palin

“It is not their love for us but their lack of faith that prevents today’s Christians from burning us.”
—Nietzsche

For sheer gloating pleasure, you can’t beat the lunkheads on Free Republic trying to deal with the news …

Posted on: March 12th, 2009 | Comments (29)

Jim Cramer Destroyed CNBC Viewers’ Wealth In Just 4 Days

CNBC’s Jim Cramer has positioned himself as yet another champion of the people against the evil government. A couple of days ago, the method-actor/ CNBC host of “Mad Money” stirred up a hullabaloo when he pretended to be angry and attacked the …

Posted on: March 5th, 2009 | Comments (40)

America’s Imperial Economy: What The Republicans Are Too Squeamish To Admit

In the great debate about the stimulus package — which, underneath all the cant is really nothing more than a debate about how America’s scarce wealth should be divided –  one of the right wing’s favorite mantras was their claim …

Posted on: February 25th, 2009 | Comments (42)

Hero of the Depression: Rep. Marcy Kaptur Tells Americans To Squat In Their Houses And Fuck Off The Banks

Although it’s more fun to trash the villains and suckers who dominate our dying empire, if the rare hero appears and says something courageous and decent, then it becomes our professional duty to salute her. That hero is …

Posted on: February 20th, 2009 | Comments (48)