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eXile Classic / March 6, 1997

In Honor of Women’s day, Death Porn offers a glimpse of the better sex at work, at play, and at murder.

Soap on a Rope

A kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Romanova, tried to hang a 20 month old baby with a silk robe. She sent the little tyke to the gallows because said tyke’s mommie was banging Mrs. Romanova’s boyfriend.

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Femme Fatale: The Miss Militsia Competition heats up during the shoot-the-swarthy-foreigner leg of the competition.

What better way to get your boyfriend’s attention than to execute his latest fling’s baby and send him swinging from the rafters (or in this case, from the low kitchen overhead lamp)? Somehow, the intrepid police managed to barge in and save the child just in time.


Shashlyk, Jr.

A 20 year old mother wasn’t so happy about having her 2-year-old son around. Junior did things like cry and breathe and whine about Gerber’s. So she took him out of town and cracked his lil’ head on a limestone kiln [sic]. Then she made a fire in the kiln [sic] and threw Junior’s body in. She covered the remaining bones with acid and threw them in the pond. (Sounds a bit like The Wolf, eh?-life really does imitate art!) Mommie couldn’t stand the pangs in her conscience, so she confessed to the police about it… a year and a half later. Sort of a redemption story about a woman overcoming her demons-we bet this becomes a made-for-TV movie.


Seeking: One Dead Roomate

One lady who lived in a communal apartment on Petrovsko-Razumovsky Proyezd didn’t like having an old babushka sharing the place she considered her own, so she decided to ease her neighbor out.

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“Why are you idiots just standing there? Get me outta here!”

How? By shooting her up with roach poison. But before that, she eliminated the head of the local ZhEK (housing authority) with a massive bomb. Hey, who says Moscow needs more liebensraum. Resourceful local entrepreneurs are doing all the legwork necessary to make this problem a thing of the past.


Convenience

On Saturday afternoon, February 15, the corpse of a 6 year old girl was found in the Kuzminskoye cemetery. The body was frozen into the ground near one of the graves. The cause of her death has not been determined, although authorities admit she may have been a corpse that lazy workers had simply forgotten to bury.

This article was published in Issue #2 of The eXile in March 1997.

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2 Comments

Add your own

  • 1. roscoe  |  August 9th, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    stick your head up my ass then gasp for breath

  • 2. roscoe  |  August 9th, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    stick your head up my ass then gasp for breath.


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