Mark Ames 1, Andrew Breitbart 0: Exiled Editor Does Dirty Chicken Dance On Breitbart’s Grave

Gloats / March 1, 2012

By Mark Ames

“If you sit quietly at the edge of a river, eventually you will see the bodies of your enemies float by.”
—Mark “Chopper” Read

Last autumn, Andrew Breitbart picked a fight with me. Breitbart bragged to the world about how he was going to destroy me. Breitbart went after me on behalf of the Koch oligarchy, who’d launched a multimillion-dollar PR counter-offensive to smear journalists who investigated them, including Jane Mayer of the New Yorker. Breitbart got the contract on me, and he had no doubt in his little pea brained mind he was going to destroy me. Breitbart was so sure he was going to ruin me, he bragged about it to everyone. He even told a journalist to tell Taibbi, “Breitbart is about to destroy your former eXile partner Mark Ames.” He was gloating in-advance. Then the very morning he attacked me, I hit back. And he tucked tail and fled like a bitch.

Now Andrew Breitbart is dead. Gee, whod’ya think won that little war?

Tough question: Maybe we should ask Breitbart what he thinks. Oh shit, dang, turns out I can’t ask Breitbart. He’s, well—he’s not doing well, dealing with those “natural causes” and all.

Ah-HAH-HAH-HAH-HA! “I feeeeel good/ nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah/I knew that I would! So good! So fine!” Sh’mona!

You know, in the days before bloated West Hollywood trolls like Breitbart could claim macho warrior status merely by carrying someone else’s water and publishing someone else’s PR packages—back in the rugged old days, if a fascist pig picked a fight with a rival, the way they decided who won and who lost was pretty simple: The guy who died lost. The guy who lives, wins.

Gosh, I guess that means… I won.

Sucks to be you, Andrew. Not that the subject “you” or the verb “to be” in the present active tense applies to the decomposing lump of jelly formerly known as Breitbart or anything.

“Hey Mark Ames, Andrew Breitbart just got his sorry dead ass handed to him! Where’re you gonna go to celebrate?”

For some reason, my fellow Americans are too squeamish, too hooked on false pieties, to openly, honestly gloat about Breitbart’s hilarious death-by-driveway, and stomp joyfully on that rat-fucker’s warm grave. Even the few edgy mavericks willing to admit they’re happy to see Breitbart dead, including my old partner Taibbi, for some reason ruin their gloats by interjecting paragraph after paragraph, tweet after tweet publicly justifying their death-gloat with “He would want it this way” or “He did the same thing”—um, who really gives a fuck about what Breitbart would want? He’s dead. His feelers aren’t hurt. He’s dead and done. And good riddance.

Let’s be honest: Even when it comes to right-wing hit-men, Breitbart was never that good. Or even interesting. He was a desperate self-pitying hack, a second-rate McCarthyite, his spite fueled by thwarted celebrity ambition. Like Dennis Miller, another failure who found a second life as a Murdoch monkey after getting run out of the Monday Night Football booth as the worst failure in sports announcing history. Now Dennis Miller will never have to face the rigors of free-market comedy competition again; he’s now protected by the right-wing, so long as he carries their water.

Breitbart never even rated with a hack like Dennis Miller. He couldn’t act; he couldn’t write. He could only peddle pro-oligarchy hate with a convincing bloated-faced froth. He performed public executions, ordered by the oligarchs; in his Salieri-like little mind, he convinced himself his PR hit-jobs were performance art. I remember when the right-wing used to produce some really formidable hate-mongers, but Breitbart was a Little Leaguer who lucked into a decadent period on the Right. He only stood out in our time because the American Right is so degenerate and feeble. Breitbart knew it too. An old friend of mine who works in one of the NewsCorp outlets told me that just a few months ago, Breitbart was at the NewsCorp pub across from their mid-town New York headquarters, holding a beer, drunk and sweaty, loudly boasting, “The thing people don’t understand about me is—I’m a performance artist. You see? But people don’t get that about me, they totally misunderstand me. I’m a performance artist, everything I do is performance art.” My friend said it was painfully embarrassing to listen to, typical pampered pretentious Los Angeles male bimbo talk…but coming from Breitbart, you’d expect something more formidable.

So did I, frankly, when I knew he was coming after me. I expected a healthy, long, drag-em-down war with the fat fuck. But as soon as I responded to Breitbart’s attack on me, using his goggle-eyed waffengeek Joel B. Pollak (Harvard Law, ’99) as his mercenary–as soon as Breitbart saw I hit back, he snagglepussed away, exit stage left. The guys from Media Bistro were as surprised and disappointed as I was that Breitbart pussed out and fled at the first whiff of gunpowder.

Breitbart was not used to people fighting back. A classic coward. A bitch who couldn’t handle his drugs, or much of anything as it turns out. And a moron: His attack against me relied on a bitter anti-Semitic felon named Jim Goad, who was jailed for beating up his girlfriend, breaking her eye socket, and biting her thumb. Goad attacked her because she exposed online that Goad had a hair transplant, a nose job… and she threatened to reveal “every secret in his past: his sexual history [which would explain the homophobia]…and that he wasn’t white trash at all.” See, Goad, like Breitbart, is also a performance artist, only he pretends he’s a Confederate hick. Goad fed Breitbart all of his hilarious smear-material about Johnny Chen, then for weeks trolled me by email and on the site bragging that my life was about to be destroyed.

The ex-girlfriend of Breitbart researcher Jim Goad

Yes folks, it’s really that pathetic and lowball comedy—so sad too, so much rank degeneracy in this late, dark stage of the once-impressive American Empire.

It’s as Gene Wolfe wrote: “The armies of this age are weak.”

But Breitbart wasn’t even an army. He was a malevolent troll, a blathering water balloon who popped at the first poke. He went down easier and quicker than Saddam’s army.

It is fitting that Breitbart’s father-in-law, Orson Bean, got the news first. Orson Bean was a victim of a Breitbart-like smear attack in the 1950s—a right-wing pro-corporate smear machine called AWARE, Inc! (a sort of Big Government of its day) smeared Breitbart’s father-in-law when he was elected to a top post in a union, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. Yes, Breitbart’s father-in-law was a union man. Was, anyway—then he was smeared as a “Communist” and was blacklisted from Hollywood, his career destroyed. It must have pained him to know that his daughter married the same sort of vermin that ruined his life. Maybe that’s why Orson Bean, late in life, became an anti-gay supporter of Prop 8. He must have enjoyed the news about the corpse on the sidewalk as much as the rest of us.

Andrew Breitbart went to war with me. I won. Breitbart lost.

Game over, Breitbart.

Excuse me while I take a victory dump on Andrew Breitbart’s memory.

Would you like to know more? Read Mark Ames’ account of the late Andrew Breitbart’s initial attack: “Andrew Breitbart Attacks Exiled Editor Mark Ames!…Hires Failed Teabag Republican To Investigate The Great ‘Who Is Johnny Chen?’ Conspiracy” and the follow-up: “Breitbart Hijinx Update! Ace Reporter Joel B. Pollak Knows What A Proxy Is!”. Also, read about Breitbart ace researchers and libertarian sleuths in “Jim Goad and Gavin McInnes Beg Mark Ames: ‘Answer Me, Please?'”

Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine and co-author with Matt Taibbi of The eXile: Sex, Drugs and Libel in the New Russia.

Click the cover & buy the book!

169 Comments

Add your own

1. Dimitri Ratz | March 1st, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Really like that Mark Chopper Read quote. Will have to look him up.
2. Tony Ichiban | March 1st, 2012 at 9:53 pm
BWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA
3. Anarchy Pony | March 1st, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Damn Mark, you are merciless. I love it. If there is a journalist Valhalla, you’ll go there when you die.
4. jimmy james | March 1st, 2012 at 9:59 pm
Beautiful, Ames, and congrats.
I don’t quite understand why so many people on the left refuse to get their bile up. If they can’t even muster up the rage to get angry at people who absolutely despise them, how do they ever expect to win?
Keep fighting the good fight and hopefully some of these pig-fuckers will listen.
5. vortexgods | March 1st, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Normally, when some right wing luminary dies, I’d suggest, “Someone put out his eyes so he can’t find his way back from Hell.”
But I don’t know, that seems ok for something like von Mises, who I really think is some kind of vampire, but it seems like too much dignity for a pathetic, sad sack, freak like Breitbart.
I mean, I kind of expect another Breitbart to show up soon, maybe it’ll be that O’Keefe character.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he’s dead, although I kind of wish it was more Albert Dekkerish ( http://www.lauriejacobson.com/hollywood_heartbreak_ex.php ) just for the reaction from his good buddy Rick Santorum.
However, this is good too.
6. MF | March 1st, 2012 at 10:02 pm
“hooked on false pieties” says it all. If only respectable discourse weren’t dominated by these mealy mouthed beigeists.
7. ishmael | March 1st, 2012 at 10:05 pm
as soon as i saw that breitbart kicked off i thought to myself “man, can’t wait to go check the exiled because they ain’t gonna show no quarter with this one” and sir i was no disappointed one iota
8. ANDREW BREITBART'S ROLLERBLADES | March 1st, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Weird how I’ve got this Misery thing going on with Ames. Follow every little thing.
9. Zog | March 1st, 2012 at 10:32 pm
To win this struggle we must harden our hearts. No mercy. No empathy. We must wear the skins of our enemies who will not stop until they are dead – and neither must we. Ames, thank you for brutalising me a little bit more.
@1
The quote was originally made by Bertolt Brecht.
10. Digital Lo-fi | March 1st, 2012 at 10:34 pm
Someone on my feed this morning posted a link to bunch of screen-capped tweets of idiots speculating how Obama must have had him killed because of some bullshit Bleatbart was spouting about having ‘something big’ on O. ‘I mean,’ one of them bleated, ‘look how fast it was declared natural causes!’ As if that didn’t come from his cronies and stooges who are going to fall all over themselves to enshrine this gasbag as some kinda great truth teller and it wouldn’t look good for a bagman for the scantimonious to be felled by to what has been pretty obvious for more than a year. Sure we can speculate as to the particulars of whichever narcotic he was hoovering up but bloated, paranoid, sweaty, delusions of persecution and grandure. Yeah, natural causes. Sure. And movie stars suffer from exhaustion.
But look at the comments on the Taibbi piece, where he pulls his punches and gloats from behind a veneer of irony, and you’ll see the sock puppets doing double time to shame anyone who might have the termerity to acknowledge that his demise was fitting for his sad life.
11. damn red | March 1st, 2012 at 10:35 pm
I am sure the worms will leave his corpse alone as a professional favor.
12. matt | March 1st, 2012 at 10:46 pm
dead at 43 of NATURAL causes?
My ass
He o’d on something or had some health problem we didn’t hear about.
13. matt | March 1st, 2012 at 10:54 pm
I read the Taibbi blog and had the same reaction. Who cares if he’s dead, he deserves our contempt! The man was a shill for the very people who are going out of their way to make our lives miserable. Ames and the exiled deserve respect for at least being honest, which is better than: “gee…gosh…I mean I disagree with his views but it’s said to see someone die so young.” We should all be happy there’s one less troll in the way of progress.
14. swr | March 1st, 2012 at 11:01 pm
Breitbart had friends in high places.
The squeamishness of mainstream liberals to gloat over Breitbart is due to one cause: Concern about the viability of their careers.
You wouldn’t want to blow that chance at a high paying gig as the token liberal on Fox would you?
15. Digital Lo-fi | March 1st, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Uh, Matt, health problems are natural causes. (They’re saying something about a heart condition.) Unnatural causes would be murder, accident, suicide, or, yes, organ failure brought on by excessive drug use.
16. Jenny Jackson | March 1st, 2012 at 11:08 pm
@AEC yeah, it even embarrasses me. do you imagine me like allen from “happiness”?
cheers
17. charliebucket | March 1st, 2012 at 11:41 pm
Mark Ames, demonstrating the exact way in which he is superior to his former chum, Taibbi: No pulled punches for people who deserve to be punched. No handy “oh no, you just misread my nuance” outs to use when the sensitive indignation starts pouring out from a bunch of people who are 100% full of shit – the same white trash toughniks who have for the last half century openly hated “liberal bleeding heart” stances. And now so offended on behalf of this “I’m so brusque” windbag Breitbart, no less.
Well done.
18. Melissa | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:15 am
I’m amused to find there is a Goad/Breitbart connection. I didn’t really know who Breitbart was as a talking head, as I’m TV-less, so I looked at some video online today and the first person he reminded me of was Jim Goad! I saw Goad do a reading–in black-face, nonetheless!–in San Francisco some years back, with that same manic victimized schtick that Breitbart did. The gig was “The Angry White Male Tour” hosted at Kimo’s, a tranny bar in Polk Gulch. I was there for the headlining act, Bob Madigan’s Fluff Grrl–Bob died just this last week–a true punk gonzo loving nut drunk. Bob would usually clear the joint by lighting his pubic hair on fire, so Fluff Grrl was an oft-booked headliner for emptying the bar at closing time. The only band I’ve ever seen follow them up is Frank Moore’s Cherotic All-Stars, because Frank, spastic in his wheelchair covered with hot naked chicks, was an even bigger yuppie-banishing shrieking noise spectacle. But “Angry White Males”: there’s Goad in minstrel makeup, reading from a page of old rants, trying to work up animosity in the room, race-gender-whatever-baiting, and everyone just tittered and yawned. So then he tried to engage individuals in the crowd, Don Rickles insult-style–but we were hip to that, too: yeah, yeah, you’re OUTRAGED, we get it, and we’re FOOLS sure, sure– when are YOU GOING TO CHUG ROBITUSSIN, BELLOW AND BLEED FOR US LIKE BOB MADIGAN? I still see poor Goad’s buggy blue eyes behind his black shoe-polished mug, trying to get us angry so he could get it up, get that adrenaline running, but no-one would take the bait. Because Fluff Grrl was headlining, and we knew who we were getting our freak on with that night. It wasn’t you, Jim Goad. You just don’t get it.
19. helplesscase | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:53 am
“Stop, traveller, and piss.”
20. NIB | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:55 am
Classy
21. Dtd | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:02 am
oh good lord this makes me happy.
I was wondering when Ames was gonna go ahead and take a shit on his corpse. I was pleasantly surprised with his expediency.
Uh, AEC, is it against the rules to repost my comment on the last article? Helluva lot more relevant on this one. And it will prolly be a tl;dr situation anyway.
Fuck it, imma copy and paste that shit. It’s not like I am spamming a dating service or kochsucking:
Imagine a world where Joel B. Pollock is the head editor of all of Breitbart’s media outlets.
Just Imagine!
(cue stock flashback/fantasy chime sound)
. . .fade in slowly to Pollock moving a cum encrusted jizz sock off of the keyboard on his mother’s hopelessly outdated ‘computer desk’. The fake wood/plastic veneer is peeling. He notices it for the 1000th time. He weighs the options of replacing it or doing nothing. He does nothing.
I suspect that by now you realize that Joel may have a long suffering problem with inertia.
Joel rubs the dried tears out of his eyes from the previous evening and loads internet explorer 7. The home page is, of course, the Exiled. He has nurtured an increasingly unhealthy obsession with Mark Ames since The-Takedown-Which-Must-Never-be-Mentioned
. Pollock, a man usually immune to abuse and pain from his longtime connoisseurship of dominatrices and sub/pegging, finds out that his mentor, no, his father, no!, his GOD, has passed on.
Breitbart can no longer be there for him.
He starts sweating. He thinks back to the life lessons he learned from watching 8 Mile in high school. In the theater. . . with Maria. Crap, best not to think about that.
Maria had walked out of the theater after he tried to fondle her ankle. He still believes it was her fault for wearing Capri’s. How can a man control himself? Unfortunately, she had already told him he was like a little brother. Joel had made a fool of himself.
Forget Maria! Forget the theater! Joel only has two ideological influences: Ayn Rand and Eminem. Rand isn’t going to be of much use right now, though. Obamacare killed his lord, but Rand taught Joel that only failures die from inadequate health care. Joel knows that he must focus on Eminem’s message instead. Joel realizes that this is it.
This is his moment. His one shot. . .
Meanwhile, much to the entertainment of us eXholes:
. . . . .from the desk of Mark Ames at Exiledonline HQ:
“Exiledonline is currently testing out the performance of CA legal copper rounds when fired into submerged ballistic gel and sashimi grade ahi tuna. And goldfish.
In the interest of meticulousness, we are using every caliber of bullet between .50 and .22 in order to generate a comprehensive set of results for the impending data tables. My interns are recommending that we go with a 32 gallon barrel of dechlorinated water, as opposed to the industry standard 36 gallon barrel. Their concern is that the added volume of water will make the rounds fragment too early (while still traveling at killspeed), and then this “burst” pattern may make the koi and goldfish become apathetic about being targeted. This could skew the results. Naturally, several control groups will be arranged.
Though we have no problems with shooting fish in a barrel, it would be nice if they moved around a little bit.”
**End Scene
Just imagine.
I know, I know. Back to my dayjob.
22. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:56 am
Brietbart’s boy O’Keefe can’t take sexual advantage of a kidnapped girl, I guess that counts for something.
23. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:59 am
Hey what do you think about riled-up trolls who come here commenting on your site while pretending to not be bothered and pretend that they don’t even read it? do you believe that they’re not hot’n’bothered when they come here to comment to tell you how not angry they are, seriously, they’re not angry? I’m not. No siree.
by the way, i’m really into my twitter, it means so much to me.
24. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:06 am
how am i reading my comments so quickly? oh right i’m a groupie properly sitting in front of the exiled site clicking “refresh” on comments
25. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:07 am
I hear libertarians are mostly pedophiles and ardent misogynists
26. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:11 am
anyone who thinks a filthy 15 year old girl is a libertarian
27. Will | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:12 am
Andrew Breitbart, who toiled for years in the right wing propaganda mines, today died at 41 following a long battle with Bullshit Lung. He is survived by his loving beard and their four smokescreens. Wreaths, condolences, etc. can be sent to James O’Keefe who is currently hurling a glass of brandy into an enormous fireplace to the strains of Mozart’s “Requiem in D Minor”.
28. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:16 am
mark ames is my hero
29. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:18 am
mark ames has the distinction from his conservative arch-commentards of writing well (and of having obsessed girl groupies like me!)
30. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:19 am
HELLO DOES ANYONE TAKE MY WORTHLESS ASS SERIOUSLY? WHY DO I WRITE IT CAPS?
31. Pavel | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:19 am
Congrats Mark! Party at Breitbart’s new dwelling?
32. girlendzone | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:25 am
mark how does it feel to know twitter followers?
33. Phlogiston | March 2nd, 2012 at 3:11 am
Ey, all for shitting on Breibart’s terrible memory, but don’t be a patriarchal shitbag???
34. Steven Matherly | March 2nd, 2012 at 5:22 am
What I want to know is what does “Natural Causes” really mean? If I have a heart attack because I drank one too many energy drinks does that count as “Natural Causes” because it was my heart that attacked me? If I take so many pain killers that my heart stops was the fact that my heart stopped considered “Natural Causes”? The guy was 43 and a bit over weight but not morbidly obese. I suspect a cover up. I’m taking bets that his death was a result of a drug overdose, excess alcohol, or a fall/crash related to drugs or alcohol. He was a smug insufferable troll.
35. Jesse | March 2nd, 2012 at 5:39 am
I lawft and lawft.
36. Conditor Malorum | March 2nd, 2012 at 5:41 am
Does *anyone* actually believe this piece of shit died from anything other than being a fat, greasy frat boy asshole who didn’t know how to handle his coke? Every single fucking thing about him screamed “my heart is going to explode in someone’s driveway in the middle of the night while I’m screaming at the top of my lungs at someone who’s done nothing to antagonize me”. Fuck anybody unwilling to celebrate it – like Taibbi, they’re the sort of trash who, in the end, sell out every revolutionary movement in return for a mid-level government position.
37. Tyler | March 2nd, 2012 at 6:43 am
That’s a solid gloat. The war nerd would agree with this strategy. If you are gonna go to war, don’t be some pussy about it, go all the way. Take ’em down.
In any case, I am just about certain that Breitbart must have been a coke fiend. 43 year olds don’t just suddenly drop dead of heart problems unless they are morbidly obese.
38. G.G. Allin | March 2nd, 2012 at 6:57 am
Perfect O-Bitch-uary!
39. Trevor | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:21 am
God this is glorious! All the other “progressive” sites are spouting scripted sympathies. You’d think they were allergic to truth or something…
40. iagree | March 2nd, 2012 at 8:35 am
I danced a jig when I heard the news. I goggled how to dance a jig, and then I danced… Oh did I dance!
41. andy | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:03 am
won’t be missed, condolences to his kids and wife though
42. 69 Anytime 88 On a Date | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:13 am
Fuck Breitbart.
And fuck liberal turds like Danny Schecter, who I had to tell on a NYC bus that his little articles on HuffPo were on HuffPo because that odious online rag was the mutual turd of a Breitbart/Huffington colaboration. Pathetic, stupid weak-assed “if only they knew the truth they’d wake up” liberal fools like Schecter don’t even know who their enemies are.
Goad? He’s still around, that failed little theatre queen whose mommy wouldn’t send him to the Stella Adler Acting School in NYC? (No shit—this is truth.) So here’s this second-hand Jew, Breitbart, collaborating with a second-hand Nazi, who then had a Jewish girlfriend (until she became inconveniently sick with cancer, and then he dumped her).
Republican. Family. Values.
43. Flatulissimo | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:16 am
Fuck yeah. I knew I could count on the eXiled for some white-hot truth where the lefty-leaning progressive limp-dicks are all carefully mincing their words.
The downer mad cow that goes into a Big Mac or the factory-farmed chicken that never left the cage and became a McNugget both made more of a contribution to mankind and to human dignity than Breitbart.
As for his kids, they are better off growing up and not knowing their raging asshole of a father. His widow can fuck right off, because anybody who would marry Andrew Breitbart is automatically not deserving of the smallest shred of human sympathy.
Fuck him, and fuck all those who are afraid to say it. Long live Ames.
44. Breitbart Kaput! | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:20 am
A real flag-raising-over-the-Reichstag moment.
Infected with the pussy homilies of HuffPo and other testicle-free sites, I knew I needed the moral atropine injection only Mark’s website can give.
American mothers, tell your sons to have the courage, clarity, civic-mindedness and bad-assery of Mark Ames. The lure of the Right for so many is partly because “the best lack all conviction” on the Left. And no one wants to believe or emulate a eunuch.
45. Bcells | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:22 am
He apparently had some previous problems with alcohol, which could have caused significant damage to his body (including the very red face as he got older). He may have been a user of multiple drugs, but alcohol can have a lot of lasting damage on the body and on the liver, which can cause clots (problems with the breakdown of sugars and metabolism of fats), perhaps leading to his heart attack.
However, fighting and coming out ahead in this situation is fantastic for a move against what this man stood for. He fought for something he really didn’t understand at all, and clearly his frustration with this may have been a factor in his death. I really hope more progressive movements will continue to make headway in today’s society, and that conservative movements will continue to be squelched in hopes of greater freedom and equality for the people.
However, I feel condolences for his family as well. Hopefully they will get along okay, and hopefully any negative effects on them from his behavior will be gone, as well.
46. HamsterFist | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:40 am
Ames, when will Taibbi ever see you were right, apologize for being a sellout and come back into the fold? You two could dominate the world, if only he wasn’t a careerist. I’d follow into the pits of hell….
As usual, bravo sir. Bravo.
47. bugjackblue | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:41 am
Why condolences to the wife and kids? This is a woman who married Andrew Breitbart, for chrissake! What kind of person would marry Andrew Breitbart? Anyone who would marry such an evil asshole is complicit in the asshole’s crimes and deserves no sympathy. And if by some miracle she had somewhere along the line seen the light and was trying to jettison the evil asshole, his death probably comes as welcome relief to her (and the kids.)
And the kids don’t need condolence either. If he left money, they get the fruits of his life’s evil work without having to put up any longer with the hateful evil asshole as a dad. His death might mean that they still have a chance to learn to become human now that he’s not around to pour his poison into their brains.
48. Gay homosexual | March 2nd, 2012 at 9:59 am
Mark, where did you find out about that Spin mag article about Jim Goad’s hair transplant, nose job, and “sexual history” past?
Signed, Jim Goad’s Mom
49. Dtd | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:05 am
Go Bears!
50. Rob | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:09 am
What great birthday present, a dead troll.
51. Jenny Jackson | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:31 am
uhuhuhuh girlendzone got spanked
52. Jenny Jackson | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:32 am
hey mark i really like you. let me.
53. KoolEarl | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:40 am
Thank you Mark Ames and may I also add that Breitbarts 80’s era love of insipid Brit art-phag music recalls the “If he was alive today he would listen to The Cure, The Smiths and Depeche Mode” line from the Anal Cunt song Hitler Was A Sensitive Man.
54. mattcarmody | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:44 am
Mark, you always were, and always will be, the heart, soul, and balls of eXile. Even back in the day you were more head-on in your face fuck-off than Matt could ever be.
Fuck Breitbart, his family, his funders, and while we’re at it, fuck Obama and his sell-out party of wimps. Lying bastards.
55. Jim Goad | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:59 am
Hey how did you know that I got a hair transplant and a nose job and that I was ready to kill a girl to keep my “true sexual history” from being made public? You didn’t happen to get trial docs did you?
56. Anonymous37 | March 2nd, 2012 at 11:18 am
For some reason, my fellow Americans are too squeamish, too hooked on false pieties, to openly, honestly gloat about Breitbart’s hilarious death-by-driveway, and stomp joyfully on that rat-fucker’s warm grave.
Here’s my reason: Sherrod’s lawsuit will almost certainly not be able to go through now that Breitbart is dead. That’s why I’m not celebrating.
57. dave™© | March 2nd, 2012 at 11:22 am
My sympathy card:
http://www.someecards.com/usercards/nsviewcard/MjAxMi03MTkwOWZmZWU3YTUxOTI5
58. Richard Campos | March 2nd, 2012 at 11:28 am
Congratulations Ames!
By the way, in case you’re looking for an expert, I’m an ace zip-code sleuth. No one knows zip codes like me! So if you want economic facts on zip codes that will literally DESTROY anyone who takes on oligarchs, I’m your gumshoe reporter!
59. Luther Blee | March 2nd, 2012 at 11:30 am
Last paragraph of Breitbarts’s AP obit:
“After Sen. Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts died in 2009, Breitbart tweeted, “Rest in Chappaquiddick” and called him “a special pile of human excrement.” When critics questioned his tone, he tweeted they “missed my best ones!”
Let’s all think of Andy and smile-wide as we flush our toilets today.
60. Richard Campos | March 2nd, 2012 at 11:34 am
Some people are seriously hoping and praying that Ames has been forced out of the Ratigan Show by Breitbart’s attack. I mean sure that wouldn’t make a lot of sense since Ames appeared on the show plenty more afterwards, but we think that since we haven’t seen Ames on MSNBC in a few months, that there’s no way he’s working on something, but rather, the right-wing succeeded in getting him fired. (We thought that about The Nation too, and boy were we right!)
Here’s to hope!
61. Matt | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Maybe it’s time for the left to swing back at the right. If we’re gonna have a civil war sequel eventually, and I fear we’re on the path to one with the way the right is going, then the left should swing back far harder than the right could ever imagine.
62. RanDomino | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:19 pm
What is best in life? To crush your enemies, to burn their villages and take their riches, to see their cattle driven before you, and to clasp their weeping wives and daughters to your breast.
63. Stephen | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:19 pm
My only point of contention with this otherwise fine send-off is: Salieri was a fucking genius compared to Breitbart. Here’s Salieri’s requiem: http://imslp.org/wiki/Requiem_in_C_minor_%28Salieri,_Antonio%29. Now listen to that and think of Breitbart. Isn’t there a disconnect?
THE A.E.C. REPLIES:
Good point. We will have a word with Mr. Ames on behalf of the unfairly-maligned Salieri.
64. Fissile | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Now, now, boys….I like Schadenfreude as much as the next guy, but let’s try and keep an old Roman admonition in mind:
De mortuis nihil nisi bonum.
65. David Patrick | March 2nd, 2012 at 12:58 pm
The picture of you two guys dancing is hysterical. I want a video of the chicken dance!
66. gc | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:26 pm
@63
I considered saying something similar, but let it slide in view of the fact that I don’t think Mark cares one way or the other about the real Salieri; he means Salieri as most people know him, as the next-to-no-resemblance-to-the-real-thing character in Amadeus.
Though even Amadeus-Salieri was probably better at his twin jobs of musician and intrigant than Breitbart’s ever been at anything.
67. Vendetta | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Fuck the Romans, Fissile. They’re dead too.
68. gc | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Thought: The way Breitbart, flush with victories against enemies who didn’t or couldn’t fight back, apparently went into his attempt to destroy Ames fully believing that all he had to do to win was attack – oh God, it’s like the idiot generals you read about who have to be weeded out at the beginning of wars (assuming the army survives their initial mistakes).
So it’s not just historical revisionism; scapegoating generals who happened to lose, for whatever reason, by making them out to be morons. These people really exist.
Lesson – that confidence alone will get you to the top in any field where failure isn’t immediately apparent? (Peace time armies; the conservative commentariat in an era when the liberals were weak?)
69. DeeboCools | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
70. Matt | March 2nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Anonymous37
Oh fuck you’re right.
71. Vendetta | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:05 pm
That Richard Currly guy obsessively fixed on the Media Bistro comments section is a tool.
72. tim | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Wow, it must suck that 99% of the people who will come to this site only have because of Breitbart dead and Mark Ames is totally FUCKING alive!
No one knows who I am, but I know everything about Mark Ames (okay just about) everything.
He’s dead and its global news – and he’s gonna be dead.
Guess what – I’m dead even though I’m alive because no one cares or knows about me.
I lose. Breitbart lost. You won. Fuck you.
73. Anonymous37 | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:19 pm
Oh fuck you’re right.
I honestly wish I wasn’t.
74. Dtd | March 2nd, 2012 at 2:39 pm
@ Ran
I think you meant:
“Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And hear the lamentations of their women.”
I seriously doubt that Breitbart’s wife is hot enough to ‘lament’ his sidewalk stumble. Hopefully she will now be allowed to have vaginal sex, since we all know that Breitbart exclusively performed Brokeback Mountain style Heath Ledger anal. Drudge probably taught him pretty well.
What was my point? Oh yeah: Conan the Musical. For your viewing pleasure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBGOQ7SsJrw
75. Tyler | March 2nd, 2012 at 3:16 pm
What do Breitbart, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston have in common?
They were both crazy coke fiends who blew up their hearts.
76. tierbess | March 2nd, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Man I’m so going to donate to the eXiled right now. I think you’re the best, Mark. I suggest everyone here gives the eXiled at least $50. Their Breitbart takedowns are worth at least 100 times that a pop in entertainment value.
77. John Drinkwater | March 2nd, 2012 at 4:04 pm
This has been the best week for death since Hitchens and Havel kicked it back in December: in Dolan’s old neighborhood in Suli, Kurdistan, Jeremiah Small, a Christian teacher at an evangelical school, was shot dead by one of his students.
78. General Sir Lord England AB.CDE.fgH.I. | March 2nd, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Good, Fuck him. Unfortunately he seemed to have gotten away. It would have been great if he stuck around to get the full measure he deserved when he would have developed into a mature hate huckster like the toad Limbaugh. Lets see which one of these other malevolent pigs are next. It’s good that he gets the proper sendoff from this site because I thought I was loosing my mind with the 1000 and 1 mealymouthed notes of contrition,consideration and farce by the entire goddamn media!!!! “I didn’t always agree with him BUT!” “We never saw eye to eye BUT” ” My prayers go out etc,etc,etc” FUCK HIM and here’s hoping that fate takes a little swipe or nudge at that ratfaced fucker OKeefe. Now I’am going to make a donation to this bastard of a site. Thanks for the delicious morning coffee.
79. Mason C | March 2nd, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Sidewalk party outside Breitbart’s place. Or at least at the funeral.
I expect the Sherrod lawsuit to continue, and it should. Rape the fucker’s estate hard so his poison spawn and idiot wife have to apply for food stamps and public housing – a lesson to wannabe right-wing rent boys.
This article made my week.
80. RanDomino | March 2nd, 2012 at 6:30 pm
74. Dtd
It’s not exactly clear what the original quote was, but Genghis Khan said it first: “The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.”
Also, Conan the Musical = win!
81. mouse | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Hahahaha!!!
The Czar of Right!!!
I love eXiled gloats!!!
Breitbart was a coward asshole and Im glad he’s dead
82. Fake Name | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Breitbart OD’d on Koch. They should have one of those “this is you, this is you on Koch” ads, where they cut to a picture of Breitbart’s corpse during the “on Koch” part. Actually, they could cut to a shot of him when he was alive. Guy looked like a shit bag.
83. darthfader | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:36 pm
In honor of Andrew Breitbart, I’d like to share my favorite Whitney Houston song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=5tSTgUSU8hg#t=22s
84. P. P. Koch | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Envisioning a future blog: stealth photos of peeing on Breitbart’s grave.
85. Fake Name | March 2nd, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Also, why does the picture look like Ames heard the news at his beach side Dacha?
86. Anarchy Pony | March 2nd, 2012 at 8:06 pm
That old Russian saying “I will be there when you’re buried.” seems appropriate.
87. Anonymous37 | March 2nd, 2012 at 8:54 pm
I expect the Sherrod lawsuit to continue, and it should.
Okay, 2 points/questions here:
1) Can Sherrod continue her lawsuit? It is legally allowable for her to sue for libel when the defendant is dead?
2) Shirley Sherrod is primarily interested in restoring her reputation. There’s no way, even if it is legally permissible for her to go on, that she’s going to continue the lawsuit in order to get money from the estate. I’d literally bet my own money on it, if there was any way I could.
88. proletariat | March 2nd, 2012 at 10:22 pm
you know, it’s almost poetic that the ratfucker breitbart died in a hospital named after reagan.
89. Antonio Salieri | March 3rd, 2012 at 12:36 am
What the fuck! At least I could read music. Can Ames? Could Breitbart?
Can you?
What the fuck!
90. Mason C | March 3rd, 2012 at 1:30 am
@Anonymous37: the case can definitely continue unless Sherrod chooses not to. Unlike an in-person slander, Breitbart’s rotting carcass isn’t required to confirm that the video was produced by him and disseminated from his website (though his scumbag co-defendant is still alive as of this moment – sucks to be him).
The case is pretty straightforward and she wins in a walk. What’s most likely is that Sherrod, apparently a decent sort, will settle to spare the family and get her bucket of cash from Breitbart’s estate (‘heirs and assigns’ – the usual legal recourse). There may be some chess moves first, like Sherrod’s attorneys closely monitoring execution of the will, but Ames and Levine will get an encore dirty chicken dance.
91. DannyBoy | March 3rd, 2012 at 2:59 am
We need a movement of regional OWS wounded warriors to crash his funeral, dance and sing. The Ames debacle proved what I’ve suspected for years. These toadies of the chicken hawks are yellower than yolk. Think of how a wave of joyous revelers will put the fear of god into the shill-industry chickenshits who show up to pay their dubious respects.
As a famous comrade once said: drive them int their bunkers. There’s time enough to organize here. Let’s party!
92. super390 | March 3rd, 2012 at 7:22 am
Jesus, I’m doing this all backward. I never went to Breitbart’s sites, only heard the complaints about him. I don’t go to the mealymouthed normal-liberal sites anymore either because their stupid banner ads (many bought out by Koch-trolls) cause my computer to seize up in cybernausea. So I found out about the death right here. Now I’m going to have to read this guy’s Der Sturmer-like ravings to understand why I’m happy that Mark Ames is happy that he’s dead.
But I agree with some people on this thread that you can’t fight an extremist movement using normal standards of polite conduct, just as you can’t fight a movement using a political party. Normal people and parties think that the solution to every problem is to move to the center. Movements think that the solution to every problem is to become more extreme. Better an all-out civil war, where both sides polarize, than a pathetic one-sided coup where the fascists win by attacking a Bolshevik menace that is mostly bullshit (Weimar, Chile, Indonesia, etc).
93. Mr. Bad | March 3rd, 2012 at 11:01 am
Off topic but with reference to the Chopper quote, if you like the movie check out the documentary “Fatbelly”, wasn’t aware it even existed until recently but it’s really good and puts you in the mood for more laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.
94. Anonymous37 | March 3rd, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Mason C:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/under-the-radar/2012/03/shirley-sherrods-suit-against-andrew-breitbart-likely-116078.html
Okay, now I can celebrate.
95. Rj 49 | March 3rd, 2012 at 12:50 pm
You are vicious in your assesment of Brietbart. GOOD FOR YOU!! KUDOS!!Your honesty is refreshing.
96. Seth | March 3rd, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Not so fast, Mark. Destitute 50 year old obscure blog editor Jimmy Goad says you can’t claim victory until you have defeated him at the spelling bee.
Be honorable Mark! Face him you coward!
FACE HIM.
97. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Ames you,re a disgusting piece of filth..and a coward ..you dance on the grave of a dead man – what a big man you are…what bravery ..what cutting edge journalism.. no concern for the innocent family of recently deceased..maybe your own filthy fathers pathetic death fuels your cowardice and bile and hatred / misogyny …and fuck all the pathetic keyboard sychophants gloating and sucking your drug ridelled arse ..now edit this post in your own hilarious manner to prove what a fucking coward abd “left wing warrior ” you are…..dickhead (s)
THE A.E.C. RESPONDS:
Megan McArdle, is that you? Shucks, what brings you here? Love the ellipses, didn’t know you had that in you!
98. Seth | March 3rd, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Hang on, Jimmy has posted his phone number, email address, and… even Skype details on several sites over the past year. He has requested that anyone and everyone contact him anytime about anything (at home, in his basement).
Now he says he wants to sue fun-loving Mark for allegedly emailing him. He would like to harness the power of Big Government to squash Mark – like a grape AND from every conceivable angle. On his website he claims that some kind of financial reward awaits him. Is he taking legal advice from smooth talking J.B. Pollack or something?
Come on, can he even afford a lawyer? He doesn’t even know how to work a credit card. He did had a lobotomy a few years back. Do you think maybe… nevermind. Ha. Jimmy. Gotta love him.
99. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Whoa thats a real put down there ..put me right in my place that did …very “sic” esque….
And you didnt even edit with your hilarious moderator ™ humour ?
Fact is that your dancing on the grave of a fucking dead man with no regard for his family….your sick fucking coward…..and like an *ironic” ? dickhead you claim victory while writing in a completely censored reply format….and encouraging the very same responses from Americans you have prevously confessed your hatred and disgust of….
Now there are probably some proper issues you could cover…but that might be too hard or too dangerous..
Awaiting your heavily moderated and “hilarious ” response…..dickhead
100. Clement Weather | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Look, Al. If you don’t feel like you have control over the rules of engagement with regards to Mark, contact Big Government like Jimmy. They can put him in jail for you. He’s rich and Jewish too so you’ll get money.
101. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:28 pm
By the way , maybe you think your being ironic or edgy or something but you look like an incredible dickhead in the pics above….not knowing anything about the dead man – my condolences and best wishes are with his family. RIP
102. the dude | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:38 pm
i was pretty pissed about the ass licking Taibbi gave Breitbagger…I don’t give a fuck, there was NO redeeming qualities about that man
103. Heywood Jablowme | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:38 pm
al:
How do you dance on a man’s grave in a respectful way? Viennese waltz?
You can’t celebrate someone’s demise when he’s still alive.
Breitbart declared war on Ames. Ames and Breitbart battled. Breitbart died. Cue celebration.
This isn’t a game where we applaud the injured players on the other team or shake hands later. Clearly, you identify with the ruling class who always pay their respects to a fallen member or functionary.
Why should we be respectful if we’re not on the same team? This isn’t a game where you shake hands afterwards. Breitbart worked to mobilize the “they oughta be shot” crowd of reactionaries. Good riddance.
104. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:45 pm
@Clement Weather – why the fuck am i such a suckup?..do i not realise what breitbart did to all those african-americans he targeted for destruction? they have kids! Its about simple decency, and i’m too much of an arsehole to understand that
105. charliebucket | March 3rd, 2012 at 3:45 pm
Do we get to call people like Al bleeding heart pussy conservatives now?
Man, do I hope more of their propaganda leadership croaks like this. It seems all it takes to turn these supposed “life’s tough, screw you, wasting whole towns is just collateral damage” hard asses into the weepiest sensitive crybabies is for their favorite celebrity assholes to die. “Think of the CHILDREN! and the WIFE he left behind…(sob, sniffle)”
106. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:04 pm
@ Heywood Jablowme….I thank god for one thing: That someone on this website knows how to improve my retarded comments. Some day I will learn how to think. Some day, like those fabled monkeys, I will fly out of Breitbart’s rotting ass. But until that day comes, I will be forever grateful to the A.E.C. for making my writing appear to be intelligible and even, perhaps, as literate as Koko the talking gorilla.
107. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Ahh there it is the Exiled censor at work, as expected …and how witty it is!!!!….so much for edgy brave journalism…journalistic standards anyone? (they seem to make a big deal about that kind of stuff)…
Not on there own website though….
[ACTUALLY DUMBSHIT, IT’S “THEIR OWN WEBSITE” NOT “THERE OWN WEBSITE”. WE KNOW IT’S HARD FOR UNEDUCATED BREITBAGGERS TO GRASP BASIC 3RD GRADE GRAMMAR, BUT YOU’LL GET THERE SOME DAY CHAMP! KEEP TRYING! YOU’RE AN INSPIRATION TO RETARDS EVERYWHERE! DO IT FOR BREITBART’S CHILDREN!]
108. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Waaaaaahhhhh!
109. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:41 pm
WAAAAHHHHHH!!!! WAH WAH WWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
110. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Wahhhhhh waahhhhhhhhh
111. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Fucking dickheads….waaaaaaah:!!!
112. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Awaiting witty Exiled Censor tm
113. the dude | March 3rd, 2012 at 5:15 pm
….and so concluded the battle betwixt the great AEC and the lowly “al”, with al piddling itself in a corner, biting the edge of a blanket. There is only one thing left to comfort poor al, the same thing that comforted the Breitbagger himself so many times, a nice hit off of the oligarchy crackpipe. just one more baby, please baby, please!
114. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 5:48 pm
What a pathetic smarmy dopey git i am…nearly all my responses have been improved
115. al | March 3rd, 2012 at 5:50 pm
and anyone who comments as much as i do is an idiotic clown……
116. rick | March 3rd, 2012 at 5:57 pm
I was physically laughing at this, even though I didn’t really know who this guy was the other day.
117. Joel B. Pollack | March 3rd, 2012 at 8:17 pm
How long will biggovernment.com last?
118. Heywood Jablowme | March 3rd, 2012 at 8:18 pm
HAHA!
sorry to get all marxist on you (not really), but al oughta read Their Morals and Ours (1938) by Leon Trotsky.
“A means can be justified only by its end. But the end in its turn needs to be justified, From the Marxist point of view, which expresses the historical interests of the proletariat, the end is justified if it leads to increasing the power of man over nature and to the abolition of the power of man over man.” –Trotsky
and, if the AEC allows:
It is exactly for this purpose [justifying ruling class behavior] that the concrete norms of the bourgeois catechism are concealed under moral abstractions patronized by religion, philosophy, or that hybrid which is called “common sense.”[‘decency’ in al’s case] The appeal to abstract norms is not a disinterested philosophic mistake but a necessary element in the mechanics of class deception. The exposure of this deceit which retains the tradition of thousands of years is the first duty of a proletarian revolutionist. (22)
119. mattcarmody | March 3rd, 2012 at 9:19 pm
DannyBoy@91: Actually, we need Westboro Baptist Church members to congregate at his funeral to condemn his hypocritical ass to hell.
120. clitgristle | March 4th, 2012 at 2:14 am
I read what you wrote when you went after Breitbart before he died, when he attacked you first, then he pussed out like a fag when you met his challenge. But since I’m a fanboy of Breitbart, I can’t deal with the fact that Breitbart ran screaming from your challenge like a pussy.
121. apatheticfuturist | March 4th, 2012 at 4:57 am
Andrew Breitbart is dead at 43 and as so many have noted before, he lived too long. It’s been a running joke of mine that anyone who thinks it’s glamorous to live fast and die young deserves it. Breitbart deserved to die much younger.
He was the worst parts of generation X; cloying and nihilistic, too style obsessed to face facts or ideas and a whimpering little bitch when adressed on his own level. He was narcissistic scum down to the wrecked cells of his liver, cunning and ruthless in his day dreams, cheap, petty and idiotic in life. And Ames points out the very worst part: “a bitch who could not handle his drugs”.
There is something sweet in his death. He died like so many of the poor that he spent his life trying to undermine and destroy, in a gutter his body wrecked from poisons he chose to make his own corrupt existence bearable. He died on a sidewalk, alone.
I would say that I hope he is remembered as slime that crawled from the cesspool of american ambition and celebrity fetish. But honestly I hope he is not remembered at all. Which frankly returning to who deserves what, is exactly what he deserves. To be shit on and forgotten.
122. ged | March 4th, 2012 at 5:54 am
i violently disagree with about half of what mark ames says but i respect him massively as a man of principle who sticks to his guns regardless of the potential consequences.
i feel like the exile is one of the last publications upholding the lost virtue of bravery. in a world where holding a belief is increasingly defined by your ability to click a little thumbs up button next to some trite piece of drivel it is refreshing to see someone nail their colours to the mast so openly and say ‘this is what i believe and to hell with the consequences.’
now can someone please go and drag dolan from whatever rock he is hiding under? we need him now more than ever.
123. Erik | March 4th, 2012 at 5:58 am
I don’t know who Breibart is but that’s the best obituary I’ve ever read.
124. Dimitri Ratz | March 4th, 2012 at 7:10 am
Such a shame Andrew is not here with us this day to see Robo Cop elected and Hilary licking her chops lol With 1 million observers on the ground and two cameras at each station not a chance of white condom revolution. Better put that face back in the dog, but it’s consoling he lived a full life and died of old age.
125. Homer Erotic | March 4th, 2012 at 7:45 am
Don’t be so hard on Taibbi, man. You have to be at least somewhat measured when you write for a mainstream publication such as Rolling Stone magazine. I think you and Matt should just kiss and make up…and post video of you doing so online! {/leers inappropriately!}
126. Dimitri Ratz | March 4th, 2012 at 8:01 am
Just to clarify my prior statement. I don’t condone Misses Clinton’s acts of bestiality. It’s just less embarrassing and shameful than her other conduct with humanity. Her drive of ambition has left her making strategic marriage and possibly forgoing love and development of her soul and the full life so characteristic of Breitbart’s life.
127. Dimitri Ratz | March 4th, 2012 at 8:20 am
Dog’s dingle berries on her nose and in her throat mixed with snout are a far cry and just brought up as a referance point of how far she’s gone and the despicablity of her cold barren inhumane and at the same time psychopath illogical behavior, and bellicose itch.
128. Anton | March 4th, 2012 at 11:27 am
To quote another rich jew: You can call me Al… My cover version: You can call me Al-the-little-brownshirt-wanker-loser-bleeding-heart-closeted-impo-wimpo-fag-girl
129. Rockstar | March 4th, 2012 at 11:38 am
speaking of rat-fuckers… what’s going on with that whole RATFOCR thing from last year? Don’t leave us hanging Mr. Ames!
130. Mr A. | March 4th, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Guess we’ll never get that scoop on what immortal words a teenaged Andrew Breitbart uttered on a The Cure concert?
Bummer.
131. Cum | March 4th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
I wonder how Andrew Breitbart felt about The Cure song “Us and Them” or about their fundraising work with Amnesty International? Or about Robert Smith’s worship of Jimmy Hendrix or about all the psychedelics Robert did or his atheism or the long hair and makeup or the hanging out and trannie clubs or basically the fact that Robert Smith is a Me-generation equivalent of a hippie? It’s clear from Breitbart’s recent temper tantrum at an Occupation that maybe he was ok with the drug stuff, but what sort of revelation did he have at a Cure concert that turned him into a Young Republican? Wouldn’t those types tend to reject goth kids as faggy liberal freaks?
Seriously, what is up with conservatives having this seemingly un-ironic self-identification with counter-culture icons? I remember reading something about McCain’s presidential campaign adviser being a huge Bob Dylan fan – I’m guessing he didn’t listen to the lyrics?
132. Jim Choad | March 4th, 2012 at 7:38 pm
all the goths i know have that joshua foust supervillian complex
133. KoolEarl | March 4th, 2012 at 8:11 pm
Cum- speaking of conservatives and counter-culture icons, Ann The Man Coulter was a Deadhead
134. KoolEarl | March 4th, 2012 at 8:19 pm
While I am on the subject: Here is John Kasich having a pint with John Lydon at the Irish Pub in Philadelphia during the 2000 Republican convention. johnlydon.com/oldnews13.html
135. Jim Choad | March 4th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
gross
136. Ivan | March 5th, 2012 at 12:49 am
I know im gonna get stomped for saying this but, despite the fact that this piece is getting around everywhere and people are laughing their asses off, I’m going to pretend that I and other Breitbaggers like me aren’t hurt by this a lick. Betcha that hurts you real bad-like!
137. Mr A. | March 5th, 2012 at 1:49 am
@Cum – Stick with what we know. Do you have sources proving teenage Breitbart was a young Republican? Perhaps he had a youthful infatuation with the Left before he realised on which side the bread is buttered.
Not that I’m up to the job of researching young Breitbart… A tip for anyone trying – WikiPedia is NOT a reliable source.
138. Nazidethpig | March 5th, 2012 at 7:00 am
Fuck Breitbart. Fuck all them Koch whores.
139. Flatulissimo | March 5th, 2012 at 12:03 pm
What is it with these Gen X douches starting off as “counterculture” and then turning libertard? In addition to Jim Choad and Dennis Miller, you’ve also got Peter Bagge. He used to write underground comics, do seven-inch covers for indie bands, and epitomized Gen Xer’s with his character Buddy Bradley, and now he writes for fucking Reason.
140. Jim Choad | March 5th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
@139 joshua foust supervillian complex
141. Jim Choad | March 5th, 2012 at 2:16 pm
i am real villian girls go get contriception at wallgreens will they let me on fox
142. Maus | March 5th, 2012 at 2:36 pm
“Natural Causes” could also mean suicide, of course.
143. Duncan | March 5th, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Everyone brave over the internet…and in mobs…that was how you “challenged” Breitbart, wasn’t it? In a mob, at the Netroots conference?…a bunch of pussies set upon one man alone is what I saw on tape…the crime is actually called “menacing”…it’s a form of assault that mobs of pussies use to intimidate people that they catch alone…what a bunch of shit-talking pussies…how come i never asked myself why i keep saying “pussies” as if they were a bad thing? what does it say about me?
144. Duncan | March 5th, 2012 at 5:35 pm
root word of pussy…means vag…spotted snapper…vag is bad…says nothing about me…generally, men/males know and understand that vag is bad and that when someone keeps saying pussy is an insult well that’s pretty bad, everyone knows that… sad that i think vag is bad, right? what’s sadder is that I had to explain that to you…enjoy the edit button…we–as in “me, my wheelchair and my retarded half-sister/auntie”–don’t have edit buttons when we leave our parent’s basements…we only have forward, reverse, left, right buttons, but no edit buttons…that’s a gosh darn shame, too. i’ve tried all sorts of assorted magic weapons to get an edit button on my rockin’ chair, but i still haven’t gotten an icon to restore our life force…whatever that means.
145. Jim Choad | March 5th, 2012 at 6:17 pm
says U have joshua foust supevrillain komplex
146. mattcarmody | March 6th, 2012 at 6:56 am
Natural causes could also mean someone killed him because he naturally deserved it.
I hope it turns out he was murdered. It’ll make the election fiasco that much more comical and irrelevant.
147. Marcus Bradley Nestor -11/25/1968 | March 6th, 2012 at 7:17 am
I’ll take 10 seconds to remember,ummm, whatzizname. A libeler, a glorified blackmailer. As he sowed, he reaped. He wont be missed.
148. Hoisting the black flag | March 6th, 2012 at 7:47 am
This is, by far, the best obituary for that fat sorry-ass pussy fuck. I’m going to have to pony up a donation for this one….
THE A.E.C. RESPONDS:
Blessed are the Believers (and the Nihilisniks)
149. Christopher | March 6th, 2012 at 11:35 am
It just sucks that Breitbart had to die in the middle of the night. I can only hope Limbaugh dies in a more spectacular, embarrassing, and public fashion.
150. mattcarmody | March 6th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Ah yes, Christopher. Maybe with a live underage Dominican boy toy in his bed and various artifical objects in every orifice.
151. tt | March 6th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
There is nothing to celebrate when winning on walkover. You should be sad that you missed thechance to beat him fair and square.
152. Jim Choad | March 6th, 2012 at 7:44 pm
@151 ahh, shut the fuck up you degenerate piece of shit.
also, am i the only one who finds mark’s mouth-gape in the chicken dance shot oddly attractive?
153. CORNBHOLIO | March 7th, 2012 at 10:06 am
HEH-HEH YEAH YEAH YEAH JULIAN SANCHEZ YEAH YEAH HEH-HEH-HEH AWRRRWWTWTWTRRR
I AM THE GREAT CONBHOLIO I NEED MORE INVECTIVE FOR MY ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE
BUUUUUUUUUNGHOLE
HEH-HEH YEAHYEAH JULIAN SANCHEZ YEAHYEAHYEAH AWRHRHHRHTHRHEHWHWHRHHEEHEHEHH
TARD HEHEHEHEHEH
CATO-TARD HEH-HEH YEAH EYAHYEAHYEGAHY AWWHHRHRHRHRW
154. vortexgods | March 8th, 2012 at 7:48 am
I notice that I don’t have a way to hurt you back so I guess I’ll just say, “I’m not worthy”
155. DrunktankDan | March 8th, 2012 at 8:32 am
Cornbholio showed up? It’s about fucking time we saw a beavis reference on this website. I guess we millenials have our BnB, and Mark and all them had Loony Tunes and shit like that, but the occasional shoutout to other generation’s slapstick cartoon heroes couldn’t hurt. Surely not, right?
Uhhh Huh-huh-huh
156. DrunktankDan | March 8th, 2012 at 8:48 am
Also, what the fuck is with all of the Taibbi name dropping bullshit? Who needs that traitor when you got Yasha, a balls to the wall real life investigative/gonzo journalist? Anybody remember his prohibition/heroin piece? Or the gypsy/taxi one? Read up, ye shlubbs, for the future lies not with the careerist.
Don’t get me wrong. For a mainstream writer, Matt is perfectly readable, in a “taking a shit at someone else’s house and they have a Rolling Stone magazine lying around” kind of way. But that is all he is. And I am not saying this as some kind of eXhole fanboy. Independent media needs to be supported, if for no other reason than because they can tell the truth. I cite the above article as a sterling example, vis a vis Taibbi. If you are broke and can’t pony up big chunks of dough, just subscribe. Treat it like a mini version of your health care bill.
157. DrunktankDan | March 8th, 2012 at 8:49 am
oops, should have read “health care bill*s*”
158. CORNBHOLIO | March 8th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
@155 dtd, obviously U need to read more eXile pdfs b\C
im pretty sure AEC is alwasy talking about “big thingies” bye
159. Amazing | March 8th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I am sure his innocent fatherless children will appreciate you blog. You are sick.
160. Opium Eater | March 8th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Jim Toad is just pissed off at the amount of dick he had to suck to survive prison.
On the other hand, it prepared him well for sucking plenty of Koch when he got sprung from the slammer.
Fake tuff guy Kochsucker Jim Toad needs the shit kicked out of him (again) so he can get back in line.
161. Margo Adler | March 8th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I just spent an entire hour reading this HILARIOUS obit and the comments. I loved every minute of it.
The dirty chicken dance photo is funny funny funny too.
I like the way that the eXile mod edits comments, too. They do a good job mercilessly mocking people and institutions I despise. I am a starving grad student, but I think that I am going to have to pony up a donation. I mean, look at all this great free content we get! Hatred of this caliber does not come along every day, you know?
162. wengler | March 8th, 2012 at 11:19 pm
I had forgotten all about Breitbart until I came here and felt great all over again.
163. Matt | March 9th, 2012 at 10:17 am
Great article! I’m glad someone had the balls to say “Fuck this guy” and leave out the “This is what he would have wanted.”
I’m sure if he had his choice he would have wanted to not die in the first place. But who gives a fuck what he would have wanted.
RIP Breitbart… (Rot In Prieces).
164. Masha In Bel Air | March 10th, 2012 at 1:38 am
hi, i’m a homophobe and I’ll never grow out of my weird homophobia
165. DrunktankDan | March 11th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
@159
I am sure his innocent fatherless children will be stoked when they finally come of age and learn from the Exiled about the bullet they dodged when their hopeless, brainless, dickless, hideous, horrible, rotten, regressive, appalling, frightening, and ultimately COMPLETELY full of shit father fell on the sidewalk and went to hell.
Fuck you.
DtD
166. Joe | March 12th, 2012 at 10:28 am
Yes. Good riddance to a promoter of hate.
167. al | March 13th, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Lets face it – I’m a nob on here jerking off to the death of a fucking blogger-twerp(with innocent family), a traiter to his class, who for fairly obvious reasons cannot respond or defend himself because his saggy flesh is currently being eaten by worms…meanwhile i stew in my pathetic bag-juice of my own miserable lives vicariously though the Exileds hilarious and edgy post..surprisingly only a couple of posts have been allowed which support this view..looking forward to the “witty” improvement of this post. i demand it.
168. Opium Eater | May 22nd, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I hear that Jim Toad is very concerned about the morality of Johnny Chen. Well, I am very concerned about the morality of professional asshole and fake tuff guy Jim Toad. Jim Toad counts as a very good friend one Peter Sotos, convicted kiddy porn fan and writer or artsy kiddy porn. He says so here ( http://www.raven1.net/mcf/hambone/jim-goad-interview.html). I wonder how professional asshole and fake tuff guy Jim Toad can be so worried about Johnny Chen when he counts as a close friend and inspiration a convicted kiddy porn fan and arty kiddy porn purveyor like Peter Sotos? Tell us Jim Toad! Inquiring minds want to know.
169. Smig | October 21st, 2013 at 12:01 pm
I have dreams that one day i might be breitbart…but you Ames are a god, you did win.