Michael Jackson Died Healthy. Drugs Are Good For You.
That’s what I learned when I checked out the Drudge Report today. AP News broke the story, but since Drudge simply cannot help himself, he linked to the same story over at his conservative butt-buddy’s site, Breitbart.
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Michael Jackson‘s arms were covered with punctures, his face and neck were scarred and he had tattooed eyebrows and lips, but he wasn’t the sickly skeleton of a man portrayed by tabloids, according to his autopsy report obtained by The Associated Press.In fact, the Los Angeles County coroner’s report shows Jackson was a fairly healthy 50-year-old before he died of an overdose. His 136 pounds were in the acceptable range for a 5-foot-9 man. His heart was strong with no sign of plaque buildup. And his kidneys and most other major organs were normal.
Sure, Michael Jackson died of an overdose. He was an incredible drug addict. The burdens of being a bubble-dwelling, deified, millionaire pervert gave him chronic insomnia, and drove him to propofol, which is used almost exclusively to put patients out before surgeries. It was an absurd and dangerous addiction. But the main thing is this: his organs were healthy as a colt’s. If he had gotten off the propofol and gotten himself some addiction therapy, he might have been able to lead a more reasonable life. Not that any of his craven entourage wanted that for him. And not that such a life would have felt any better, or even been any better–but again, that was his freakish choice, not the State’s.
Like Ames wrote before me, “People do drugs because they’re fun. It’s no different from alcohol or roller coasters, except that drugs are A LOT BETTER.” And, apparently, even severe drug abuse can and often is harmless on the body. Get that? We could all be having a lot of fun right now – A LOT OF FUN – and worry a lot less about the evils of drugs. You can drink two bottles of wine and take five tylenol and die agonizingly of liver failure. But fucking pot is illegal. Why the hell don’t more people talk about the positive effects of drug use? How long would Michael Jackson have wanted to live and write songs if it wasn’t for his beloved drugs?
This is part of why much of the world gapes at America in psychological horror. We’re in a severe economic recession, facing the prospect of a decade of stagflation, our private health insurers are clearly profiting from our illness, and as of 2005, 10% of our population are prescribed antidepressants. And we can’t even have a healthy discussion about legalizing and taxing pot. Do you think we’d have as much depression, stress, pessimism, and general feelings of being fucked if we could smoke pot after work, take the occasional opiate on the weekends, or pop an amphetamine on a busy work day?
I live in severely Far White suburban Houston, a city that hates pot but hardly does anything about the hundred or more “massage parlors” that are really brothels. The neighborhoods around here have man-made ponds and huge lawns. There are very few brown or black people. And a local massage parlor, a few blocks away from a couple churches and a goddamn elementary school, has to advertise that it offers “Only Massage,” because men go there expecting handjobs. I live in this broken city, and I would be shunned by some of my friends if they knew I smoke pot. And of those friends, some of them probably would be okay with me paying for a handjob. “Pot should be illegal, but your body is your own business, so sell it if you want.” How did this city come to this? Why isn’t America getting saner?
Anyways, let’s thank Tom Watkins. Whether intentionally or not, he’s fighting the good fight. The good fight for human truth in America. And the good fight for drugs and fun.
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