The final hour. The "Moment of History". Can the Winter Palace be stormed? S h o u l d another day be patiently waited out? When best to move from Smolny across town to claim the Tsar's chair, and how best to do so without being overrun by unruly crowds and "criminal elements"? Coach Lenin knows how. He's been to the big one and won it. NFL coaches today wish they had his wisdom this week, because this is the week when, for many teams, everything is on the line.
     Can St. Louis count on a miracle-and squeak through to the playoffs? Will Detroit get there, horrible uniforms and all? Should New Orleans, with a trip to the show practically sealed up, risk bringing back Ricky Williams this week? Will the J-E-T-S B-L-O-W it? Mike Martz is wondering. Al Groh is wondering. We're wondering.
     Coach Lenin doesn't wonder. He analyzes, computes, sees the clear path, and acts. All those incorrect picks he made this year - they were part of the plan. They were designed to lead us all to this defining moment, where all of us - all of us on the wrong side, that is - will be finally and completely slaughtered.
      Coach Lenin's picks for the final week of the NFL regular season games broadcast at Sportland this weekend:

Saturday, December 23
9:00 p.m. Sportland time
Jacksonville Jaguars at New York Giants
It is during the so-called "meaningless" games that we will make our great advances.
PICK: Jags

Sunday, December 24 00:15 a.m. Sportland time
San Francisco 49ers at Denver Broncos
Once, in the early days, I blew Jerry Rice in a public restroom in Gstaad.
PICK: 49ers

Sunday, December 24
Buffalo Bills at Seattle Seahawks
We must try to arrange things so that Rob Johnson remains in the game, as this will, ultimately, be to our advantage and to their disadvantage.
PICK: Seahawks

Monday, December 25
9:00 p.m. Sportland time
St. Louis Rams at New Orleans Saints
During the holidays of socialism, everyone will find happiness. Under the imperialist system, one side always loses.
PICK: Rams

0:00 a.m. Sportland time Indianapolis Colts at Minnesota Vikings
In America, they will still be celebrating Christmas, while in socialist Russia it will already be December 26th, and our citizens will be in a high state of readiness, preparing their final attack.
PICK: Vikings