Yes, it's packed on weekend nights. Weird mix of Ôhos and teenies. The teenies whoop
it up, and the Ôhos sit glumly and patiently, like crocs. Get there early for better
angling on the nubile prey. Good mix of whores and sluts.
Jeers:
Pasty door-thugs, shitty Russian techno pop, ugly whores, divorcees and washed-up
ex-molls mix with dyevs and fallen flatheads. Lots of flatheads.
Cover:
100R
M:
Dobrininskaya
Phone:
951-4900
Address:
Bolshaya Polyanka 51a
Hours:
12.00-6.00
Buddha Bar
Cheers:
eXile alert! Oh my, folks, has this place turned the corner or
what?! Buddha Bar has always had one of the best locations and designs, but it never
managed to find a niche. Welp, those days are over. Last Saturday, Buddha showed a new
side that we done did like. Live music (the dance hall has great acoustics), unpretentious
studenty crowd, not overcrowded, good ratios, reasonable number of sluts.
Jeers:
Right now, we just can't complain.
Cover:
R50 for chicks, R150 for men on weekends
M:
Kuznetsky Most
Phone:
tchya, right, as if they'd talk to U
Address:
Ul. Ushechnaya 3 (just down from Hola Mexico)
Hours:
Open daily.
Dirty Dancing
Cheers:
Sluts, sluts, sluts and hos. Popular ethnic student hang-out, for those sick of Northern
Snapper. Student sluts like it so much that they wait for hours to get in.
Jeers:
Krazy Kevin nearly picked up a Miss Piggy, but she turned out to be on the rag.
Door thugs should be doing their job and screening not just for weapons and drugs,
but for bleeding girls, who should not be allowed into slut-magnet discos.
Cover:
Guys R150, Chicks R50
M:
Belorusskaya
Phone:
250-0482
Address:
Gruzinsky val, 31 (upstairs in Canadian Bagels)
Hours:
Always open
DK MAI
Cheers:
DK MAI has high SS factor, as three straight times eXile staffers nearly scored on
the streets outside of DK MAI. May be the best new provincial raver discovery in Moscow.
Two floors, inluding a massive rotisserie dancefloor downstairs, and a huge hardcore
dancehall upstairs with Star Trek video screen a-blazin'. Kids with oil-black pupils
popping packs of Latvian E.
Jeers:
Cement-brained management decided to charge kids 120R for recent rave party, meaning
the place has nearly cleared out.
Cover:
Up to 120R
M:
Sokol
Phone:
158-4480
Address:
Dubosekovskaya Ul. 8.
Dvorets Molodyozhy
Cheers:
Occasionally hosts massive rave-fests. Hundreds of kids dosing on E is always a recipe for fun.
Make sure you go on the right night.
Jeers:
Fell out of favor with the cool crowd long ago.
Cover:
50 rubles, 75 after 24.00
M:
Frunzenskaya
Phone:
246-3942, 245-8402
Address:
Above Metro Frunzenskaya
Hours:
22.00-06.00 on Sundays
Hippopotam
Cheers:
Hippo has shot to the top of the populists' choice for weekend partying, attracting
a similar crowd to Boar House, only more studenty. Run by a pair of energetic fembot
exiles from Papa John's who know their shit when it comes to spinning stomach-twirling
tunes. A favorite of the US Marines during R&R, as well as a weird assortment of off-duty
waitresses, wives and molls. Music has improved, and somehow the once depressing interior
actually seems lively. Overall, worth a long stop.
Jeers:
Quite a distance from the metro. One of those places that seems really happening when
you first walk in, but as you adjust your eyes, you sometimes might start to feel creeping
disappointment.
Cover:
Weekdays free; Weekends: 100R for guys, 50R for dyevs
M:
Ulitsa 1905 Goda
Phone:
256-2327
Address:
Ul. Mantulinskaya 5/1, Bldg 6 (In the same building with Santa Fe)
Hours:
22.00-06.00
Khaos
Cheers:
Oops! Starvin' Ivan got scooped by his own readers this time! Opened by the
fellas who brought you the famed Les, Moscow's last classic ahnderground grybny club.
Young crowd similar to that of the defunkt Plasma and the defunkt Galaktika, two of Starvin'
Ivan's favorite places for dropping E. Standard Hindi-techno day-glo patterns on the walls.
Killer sound system.
Jeers:
Yet another techno club either annoying or brings back sad memories of the Chubais era.
No chill-out room.
M:
Timirgazevskaya
Address:
Timirgazevskaya Ul. 17 (Kinoteatr Estafeta)
Hours:
22.00 - 6.00
Mirazh
Cheers:
Planetarium-like tunnel stairwell. Top location, huge club has big potential to be
one of the in spots by the time the snow melts and the shit flows into the drinking water.
Jeers:
Returned to its flathead magnet days of yore.
Cover:
?
M:
Arbatskaya
Phone:
291-1423
Address:
Novy Arbat 21
Hours:
Daily 12.00-6.00
Park Avenue Disco
Cheers:
Sweaty, nasty disco located inside a park near Taganka should be good hunting grounds
for bottom-feeding eXholes. Lots of lumpy teenies with no future. Dreap Chinks.
Split level disco bar action.
Jeers:
We're talking serious bottom-feeding. The teenagers already look like budding babushki.
This is hagfish country, folks. Afix very serious and thick Stoly goggles. Sovok staff,
sometimes has ridiculously high cover charge.
Cover:
30-150R (depending on day)
M:
Marksistskaya
Phone:
911-0498
Address:
Taganskaya ulitsa, 40-42 (in the park)
Hours:
20.00 - 8.00
Proton
Cheers:
Has that provincial Moscow techno club thing that used to turn Johnny Chen into a
bitch-slapping firestarter. Day-glo hand-painted signs done in spiral or Goa style;
laser-mad disco room complete with provincial dorks staring ahead like pod people;
big chrome industrial props make you want to say "it's so 90s", but in a good way.
Attracts the molodyozh from the VDNKh area. Cheap drinks.
Jeers:
But a way-too-high cover charge. When we were there, no chance of scoring anything,
or anyone.
Cover:
100-150R
M:
VDNKh
Address:
Ul. Akademika Koroleva 13 (in the shopping mall front, under the "Mayak" sign)
Hours:
Fri, Sat late nights
Slava
Cheers:
Take a trip to Slava for a snap time warp tour of Moscow circa 1994: scary older flatheads
in gree-z pseudo-Italian boutique jackets, shiny flat-tipped shoes and nasty scowls burned
into their faces. The girls aren't the top tier - most look like they've been passed around
the flathead circuit a few times, but that doesn't mean they aren't ready for another go.
Lots of money was dropped into the steel girding "post-industrial" interior, which is something
to laugh about. Has a half-inspired chick in a cage. Super cheap drinks. Only go on weekends.
Jeers:
Those big ventilator fans above the stage look like some dumbshit's idea of Bladerunner.
Cover:
125R (on weekends)
M:
Shosse Entuziastov
Phone:
176-0639
Address:
Shosse Entusziastov d.58
Hours:
18.00 until the last flathead speeds away in his hot Beemer, daily except
Mondays, when even flatheads need their ugly sleep
Tochka
Cheers:
New cavernous warehouse-type disco. Has potential. Stage for live acts. Lots of
room. Not dorkadent.
Jeers:
Doormen are assholes. Too big for the small and not totally attractive crowd.
Khaos
