By Diane Bayes
At first, I thought it might not be appropriate to address
Fran's patently silly rants in the last number. After all, this is a column
about eating, and a lot of womyn take eating awfully seriously. I know I do.
But, upon reconsideration, I decided that airing my dirty laundry might be
constructive. Many misogynist pigs out there probably think that lesbians exist
simply to turn on men. Their image of lesbian culture is confined to Hollywood
propaganda in movies like Chasing Amy and Bound.
Well, that isn't the case. We
lesbians quarrel, get jealous and kiss and make up, too. Fran, for example, made
me a delicious tofu curry to apologize for the lies she printed two weeks ago.
We washed it down with a pint of Baskin Robins Rocky Road, a bottle of red wine
and a romp in the hay. And, contrary to what she wrote, Fran would never hit me.
We leave domestic abuse problems to the breeders.
She was just angry that I
publicly admitted that she enjoys being dominated. She thought a display of
machismo would help appease her sense of outrage. She can be so rash sometimes.
Well, enough about that. I've got a restaurant to review. This week, we ate at
Khuan Khe, a Chinese restaurant far off the beaten track. It is near Sokol Metro
station, but you may never find it if you don't take a car.
Initially, I was
doubtful about this restaurant. Not only is it Goddess knows where, but the menu
comes only in Mandarin and Russian! Well, my Chinese is about as good as Fran's
Russian, so you can imagine the bind we were in. The decorations might look
expensive to a Russian, but I found them a little gaudy.
The only positive note
was that the man at the coat check didn't try to manhandle me. Instead, I simply
handed him my coat. That was a relief.
Luckily, our waitress, who was dressed in
a cute Chinese pullover, was quite helpful. Her English wasn't so great, but she
made up for it by making excellent recommendations.
For appetizers, I ordered
shrimp in spicy sauce (R160). They were those small shrimp and they sure packed
a punch. Fran ordered the Vietnamese spring rolls (R70), which was a giant
serving of five good-sized rolls stuffed with all sorts of goodies. Those didn't
last long.
Our next course meant a soup for me and a salad for Fran. My sour
soup (R70) was lacking the 'hot' element, but I made short work of it anyways.
Fran was equally satisfied with her pork and radish salad (R130) although again
it was lacking adequate spiciness.
The main courses maintained the generally
high quality of food. Fran's chicken fingers with sweet pepper (R155) certainly
bested my expectations of chicken fried in dough. It was sautéed pieces of
chicken with the right proportions of veggies thrown in. They served it right on
the frying pan. My Gunbao pork (R145) actually tasted quite similarly to Fran's
meal. I think they might have used the same sauce.
A side of rice with veggies
(R60) was a good compliment.
One problem I had was that food was-n't served
communally, like Chinese should be. Instead, our orders were placed directly in
front of us. I didn't have any complaints about the size of the meal though -
they certainly gave us a pile of food.
The desserts aren't a strong point. They
don't have any of those tasty Chinese pastries. The mediocre fried bananas (R70)
were a poor substitute.
Khuan Khe has a huge selection of bottled beers, with a
.3 bottle costing R65. I got the Lao Shan, as I have a weakness for those rice
beers. Fran followed my lead.
I have to say, this restaurant is a pretty decent
place. They know the value of a big serving and that counts for a lot in my
book. I still don't know what they were thinking when they tucked it away in
that neighborhood, though. We had to walk forever just to get a taxi.