APRIL 5
ROCK
Alexei Aigy
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Psoy Korolenko
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Mother`s Little Helpers
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)
NATO & Natalya Medvedeva
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
COUNTRY
Kukuruza
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 6
POP
Discoteka Avariya
23.00: Parizhskaya Zhizn’ (Live Muzak)
ROCK
Lyapis Trubetskoi
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Kvartal
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Alexei Paperny
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Ivan Kupala
23.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
Bely Ostrog
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Sky Stranger
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)
COUNTRY
Grassmaster
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 7
ROCK
Viktor Zinchuk
23.00: Parizhskaya Zhizn’ (Live Muzak)
Add N To (X)
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Korabl`
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Agata Chrysty
22.00: Manhattan Express (Watering Holes)
Stary Priyatel
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Pyotr Podgorodetsky
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Mashina Vremeny
23.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Chyorny Khleb
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)
COUNTRY
Magic
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 8
ROCK
Tres Muchaches
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Pizhyony
22.00: Manhattan Express (Watering Holes)
23.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
Green Kiss
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Music Hammer Band
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
APRIL 9
ROCK
Bengalsky Zaliv
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Teny
19.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
Pick`n`Pipper
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Torba Na Kruche
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
JAZZ
Igor Butman Jazz Band
21.30: Le Club (Watering Holes)
APRIL 10
ROCK
Eric Clapton
19.00: Kremlin
Ulitsyu
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Krest
19.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
Devyushky Sen Zharmen
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Mervent
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)

APRIL 11
ROCK
Eric Clapton
19.00: Kremlin
Tetris
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Vontuspieds
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Stainless Blues Band
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
COUNTRY
Acouctic Band
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 12
ROCK
Inna Zhelannaya
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Long Play
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)
Messer Chups
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Sahara
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Nochnyue Sniperyu
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)
Multfilmyu
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Sky Stranger
23.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 13
ROCK
Oleg Anofriev
23.00: Parizhskaya Zhizn’ (Live Muzak)
Zdob Si Zdub
23.00: Kitaisky Lyotchik (Watering Holes)
Moralny Codex
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Nogu Svelo!
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Off Beat
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
Blast
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)
Pyotr Podgorodensky
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Crossroads
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)
APRIL 14
ROCK
Smyuslovyue Gallutsyunatsy
23.00: Parizhskaya Zhizn’ (Live Muzak)
Zyorna
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Pepsi
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
GerGa
23.00: Svalka (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Iness
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)
APRIL 15
ROCK
Jack Action
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Oberegy
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Concord Jazz Band
22.00: Crisis Zhanra (Watering Holes)
APRIL 16
ROCK
Syunov`ya
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Regulyarnyue Chasty Avantyuristov
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
JAZZ
Igor Butman Jazz Band
21.30: Le Club (Watering Holes)
APRIL 17
ROCK
Tunnel
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
APRIL 18
ROCK
Pled
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Hard Core Party
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
Dr. Nick
23.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
APRIL 19
ROCK
Vezhlivy Otkaz
23.00: Sixteen Tons (Watering Holes)
Alligator
22.00: Schwien (Live Muzak)
Cabernet Deneuve
22.00: Vermel (Live Muzak)
Airplane
22.00: Bunker (Live Muzak)
BLUES
Moscow Ragtime Band
22.00: Country Bar (Watering Holes)
Ratllesnake
22.00: B. B. King (Watering Holes)

Boy George. Saturday, April 14. Club XIII.


Boy George
That’s right, kiddies, the ever expanding Boy George is coming to Moscow!!! Club XIII had to purchase a specially designed winch made by none other than the deceased Versace (may he rest in peace!!!) to accommodate the superstar’s overly ripe rear end in style and comfort!!! Did you know that after the Culture Club and before Jesus Loves You, Boy George was a London DJ?!? And now he’s coming to Moscow!!! This will be totally fabulous!!! Now you can have him all to yourself!!! Well, almost!!! If the truth be told, most of Moscow’s burgeoning gay community sees this event as the unofficial climax of Gay-pril, a month long celebration of gay, lesbian, transgender and cross-dressing animal lovers!!! Get out and show your pride!!! Don’t worry, there won’t be any speeches or presentations, just old fashion gay fun!!! And don’t worry baby, it is all perfectly legal!!! There won’t be any of those nasty, habit-forming drugs that marked the beginning of Boy George’s descent into obesity!!! And you can trust face control to weed out any undesirables!!! Let’s just hope old George can slip by, like a candle in the wind!!! Or was that Elton John??? Oh, these aging British flamers... who can keep them all straight??? Well, we’ll see you there!!! And don’t forget to wax!!!

Eric Clapton. Tuesday-Wednesday, April 10-11. Kremlin. 19:00.

We’ll give a free t-shirt and eXile pizza to anyone who presents us with Eric Clapton’s finger. It can’t be any of his fingers, though. If you want payment, we demand the one with the skull ring on it. If you don’t know what it looks like, take a look at the nearest poster advertising his up-coming concerts. This sort of behavior might have been acceptable for metal groups of yesteryear - the Slayers and Sepulturas out there - but what does Clapton think he is? He has clearly embarked on the George Harrison stage of his career, where promoters will pay to advertise him but nobody can so much as whistle one of his new tunes. That is, a song that he has put out in the last five years. We’ll see how good of a blues man he really is once he adjusts to life without a finger. Maybe the loss will help him find his muse.

Goran Bregovich. Sunday-Monday, April 15-16. Theater Mossovieta.

Mmmmm, Yugoslavian Gypsy music on crack. It’ll make you fell good. And all the cool kids are doing it. This guy composed the soundtracks for most of Kusturica’s films. Yet he had the good judgement to stay away from the apologetic, Bobby McFerrinesque Black Cat, White Cat. Obviously, the man’s got taste. We don’t know how many from his ensemble are coming to Moscow but we’re sure that you’ll want to put your hands in the air and dance ethnically when you hear him sing about his Kalashnikov. Just don’t forget to watch your wallet. You never can tell with those Gypsies.

Add N To (X). Saturday, April 7. Sixteen Tonnes. 23:00.

Electronic music isn’t always the enemy. These Brits are loud born-again porno animators. Their magnum opus was the short Metal Fingers in my Body, a heartfelt rendition of the deflowering of a girl, which reminds even the most hardened slut of what it was like to be prepubescent and fucked by a robot for the first time. They play what in Russian is known as a thermowalk. Go to this show and see what progressive music would be like if only it had a sense of humor. It’s almost enough to make their name excusable. Long live the Queen.

Messer Chups. Thursday, April 12. Sixteen Tons. 23:00.

Here are two guys who need to get a life. They play retarded wannabe surfer rock cut with samples from old Soviet films. They don’t even bother singing. But at least the music will remind you of your childhood. Or, if you didn’t grow up here, it will remind you of how lucky you are not to be one of the sentimental beet-heads standing in Sixteen tons getting misty eyed because of some three second bite from Volga, Volga. It’s good to be American. One of them used to play in Leningrad, which means he probably hasn’t turned completely evil. Besides, retards are funny. They keep you coming back for more.

Propaganda’s B-Day. Saturday, April 14.

We forgot to find out how old Propaganda is going to be, but that is immaterial. Propaganda is still one of the better clubs in town. This party will probably be no different that a usual Saturday night, but usually Saturday nights are pretty fun at Propaganda. There should be lots of snapper for the more discriminating crowd. Be careful, though - this time there’s a cover. That could mean that they’ll be giving something away for free. R250 for plebeians, R100 for members. And we didn’t even know that they have membership cards.

Celtic Fest. From Sunday, April 15. Tsenralnii Dom Zhurnalistov.

If you’re sick of those fucking English coonts, what better way to say it than checking out this Celtic fest? The festival is well timed to celebrate the recent discovery that whiskey was actually introduced to England (and consequently Ireland, where it became an art form) by an envoy of Ivan the Terrible. The word “whiskey” in fact derives from “russky”. But don’t believe us. Find out for yourself: repeat the word russky ten times and see what you come up with. To celebrate almost 500 years of cultural exchange, this week-long festival will feature the Emerald Isle Dance Team and a bunch of perpetrating Scots, including the Scottish Stepdance Co and Daimh. It’s happening all over the city in various outlets, including Mirazh, Vermel and TsDZh. For more info, call Dom Whiskey at 135-3111. Seriously.