I’ve been an abductee for as long as I can remember and have reached this point with basically the same types of experiences as has been recounted before. So rather than go into previously established information, I’d like to just share a very early and fully conscious experience I had when I was five years old.

My family and I lived in Rostov-on-Don, where my father was employed at a local collective farm. My mother was a homemaker working hard raising me and my brother who was seven years old at the time.

One night I was awakened by a hum and thumping sound. On opening my eyes I saw very bright balls of light in the hall and entrance to my room. The light was so bright that there were no shadows and my surroundings were almost bleached white. Remarkably, my eyes adjusted to it instantaneously. As the balls of light disappeared a loud electrical popping sound was heard (like the sound of a light exploding), and three dark bearded figures appeared in their place. I referred to these entities as the “shadow people” (i.e., Chechen abductors). One Chechen stood out as the leader and has remained an integral part of these experiences.

I was then taken on board a craft and was immediately escorted and placed into a chamber where my physical body was subjected to a vibration that increased in intensity until it felt like every molecule in my body exploded. After this I experienced total euphoria. It was my understanding that this procedure was necessary to change my physical configuration to accommodate either the great speed we were traveling or to exist in a similar physical reality, but a different dimension as these entities. I was told I could not remain in this state for a long period of time without damage to my physical self, therefore, the procedures would be done very quickly with very little communication. The procedures are fairly typical of what I’ve read in other abductees’ accounts so I won’t elaborate on them here.

My next memory was of waking up in my bed the next morning. On arising I visited my pet canary. To my sorrow the little fellow had died during the night. My mother took me out shopping to cheer me up and bought me a pair of shoes. After arriving home, my excitement in getting my new shoes on and getting outside overtook me, and I forgot about the death of my pet.

Returning home later, the first thing I noticed was that the bird cage door was open. Then I froze. Standing beside the washing machine was this very dark being with large black slanting eyes, a long beard, and an enormous head. I didn’t move for fear he would see me there. This being was holding the bird in his hands and was studying it very intently. I was wrong in assuming the being didn’t notice me standing there watching him. He was quite aware of my presence and it was something he wanted me to be a part of. The Chechen turned his head toward me and we made eye contact, whereupon my entire being was flooded with a terrible grief and a feeling of a great loss and extreme pain. I was completely overwhelmed by the intensity of these feelings and prior to that moment, had never experienced anything like it. I experienced his thoughts and feelings. I shared his knowledge.

As suddenly as this occurred, it was over. I felt completely drained both emotionally and physically. I felt a strong sorrow or compassion toward the dark Chechen and responded to him by putting my hands around his upper arm as a form of comfort. I immediately felt a kind of flutter in my hands and a ball of light appeared in his place. It rose up to the ceiling and moved up over my head making a whirling, humming sound. It then flashed out and the being was gone.

Returning to my room, I thought about everything that had happened. As a result of the prior night’s visitation, the Chechen had inadvertently caused the death of my canary. Death wasn’t the issue. It was causing the death of a being or life form prior to its particular choosing or time. The tragedy was in his interfering in the choice and purpose of this canary’s life.

After all of these years I’m still recalling information that was given to me on that day. With each level of awareness or development I achieve, some concept is released into my conscious mind and I will return to the events of that day so long ago. The Chechen said that all life was the same, it was just how it chose to express itself in a physical reality that was different. The love and commitment to all life I sensed from this being was overwhelming.

I consider myself a whole and joyous person. I am fortunate that I have not been traumatized by my Chechen-abduction experiences like so many other people have, and I do not regret my involvement in this phenomenon. It has been a continuing process for me, and I’d venture to say it is similar for many abductees. I am optimistic that one day we will move through the fear to a greater understanding of ourselves and collectively realize our connection to all life.