Computer-parts salesman-cum-expat media magnate Ajay Goyal was the victim of a brutal sexual assault Satur-day—and the attacker was a pig!
The India native was walking home after delivering a lecture at the House of Journalists when he was attacked by a large adult swine in an alley not far from Malaya Bronnaya street.
According to police reports, Goyal first noticed the pig on Tverskoi boulevard and attempted to evade it by simply walking faster. The pig countered by quickening its own pace, beginning a lengthy low-speed chase that led to the fateful alley near Patriarch’s Ponds.
Police were at a loss to explain how the pig came to be running loose in the center of Moscow.
“It just appeared out of nowhere,” a GUVD spokesman said.
A forensic veterinarian rushed to the scene concluded that the attack was a case of mistaken identity.
“It thought it was another pig,” he said.