The Alexander Voloshin tapes, excerpts of which were first published in the eXile a month ago, made a big splash in the Russian-speaking press last week when they were finally released in full by our partner publication, Stringer.
Virtually every major paper in town covered the release of the tapes, which covered a week’s worth of phone conversations made to Kremlin chief of staff Voloshin’s office. They were uniformly deemed to be genuine, as some of the participants in the conversations confirmed having made such calls to Voloshin’s office. While Voloshin’s office refused comment, there was one violent reaction from one key participant in the transcripts—Gleb Pavlovsky. His strana.ru website leveled a vicious and vituperative attack against Daily Telegraph reporter Marcus Warren, who’d had the gall to publish a write-up about the tapes. The strana.ru piece was a masterpiece of incoherent raving—in one classic non sequitur, it blasted Warren for failing to display the usual British «meticulousness.»
The uproar over the tapes has been an educational experience for us here at the eXile. For years, we’ve wondered about the reliability of the reports regarding the origin and/or the motivation behind the release of this or that kompromat document that happened to make it into print. There were many theories about the Voloshin tapes that made it into print in the last week (some even suggested that Voloshin had taped himself), but from where we stand it doesn’t look like any theory out there was even close. Nonetheless, it made for good reading.
We continue the publication of the Voloshin transcripts in this issue with two offerings. One is a phone conversation between Voloshin and his mother on the eve of the former’s birthday. Anyone who has a mother will recognize and appreciate the substance of this touching conversation.
The second phone call is a slavish and desperate attempt at flattery on the part of a cringing anti-hero of a Duma deputy, Konstantin Vetrov.
Both phone calls are more or less self-explanatory. We’ll continue on with the transcripts in future issues.
March 2, 2001, Phone call #33
Mama’s Boy
- Hi.
- Synochik?
- Yes mom.
- Hi, synochik. How are you?
- OK.
- You’re going to come home really late tonight?
- Seems so.
- Well, OK, then I won’t come over today. What about tomorrow? Are you going to be leaving really early?
- I don’t know, mommy. Why don’t you just come tonight?
- No, synochik, I’m more comfortable at home. If I come over, I’ll just lie around and be in everyone’s way.
- That’s interesting—in whose way are you going to be?
- Well, whose… no, it’s easier for me here, everything is close by. I’ll come over tomorrow morning.
- Well, OK, but I might not be home tomorrow morning, and then what?
- You mean you’re going to leave first thing in the morning?
- Mom, I just don’t know yet. Unfortunately, I’ll only know late tonight.
- I understand, my good boy.
- Listen to me. You’re making everything harder than it should be. Come over tonight. What problems? You’re inventing problems. Just come over, simple.
- I wanted to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow morning.
- Well, this way you’ll be able to congraduate me early in the morning. Otherwise you could come, and I’d be gone already.
- You might be gone already?
- That’s right, so simply come over today.
- Okey-dokey. Well then I’ll relax a little bit right now.
- Though you could just as easily relax there. There’re girls there, they’ll take care of you, so….
- Thanks, synochik. Yes, I understand. OK. Let’s agree then.
- Let’s. Of course, you’ll pester me, I won’t know anything clearly. It won’t be clear until late tonight.
- Yes, I understand.
- So, what’s it going to be?
- Okey-dokey, OK.
- OK.
- OK, synochik..
- So we’re set.
- Even if you come home really late tonight, I probably still won’t be asleep. So you’ll pop in and see me?
- Absolutely.
- Good.
- OK, mom, kiss-kiss. Bye.
- Bye.
March 2, 2001, Phone call #40
Flattery Really Will Get You Nowhere
- Hello.
- Hello. Is this Voloshin’s office? A pleasure speaking to you. This is one Vetrov, Konstantin Vladimirovich, from the State Duma, Chairman of the Committee on Information Policy.
- Yes, I’m listening.
- I have one tiny request. I’ll trouble you for just five seconds. Tomorrow’s Alexander Staliyevich’s bithday?
- Yes.
- I have already congradulated him, I have sent an official government telegram. Such a fine telegram. Wishing him a happy birthday. Everything. But it has probably already arrived, or will be arriving any second, because we have a courier service…. But you can’t send congradulations early. So I’m begging you….
- We’re going to pass on all the congradulations to him tomorrow.
- That is…. You mean, there was no reason for me to trouble you.
- Yup, good.
- You mean [unintelligible] today’s the second [unintelligible]
- No, no, stop worrying.
- Thank you so much.