LEGEND: Old people  "Control shot"  Riddled with bullets  Podyezd  Cannibalism  Cries for help ignored  Investigation continuing  Children  Low-yield murder  Really stupid criminal  Carved up like a turkey  Killing "connected with professional activities of victim"  Hunger-related crime  Murder-suicide |
That Binny Hinn healed my hemorrhoids |
Winnie the Pooh is not a very well liked 10-year-old. Like everyone fat enough to get a nickname like that, he got wailed on regularly at school. His alcoholic mother and popular and successful older brother didn’t pay much attention to his self-image problems.
Winnie became something of a pariah at school, without a single friend in his class. But he made up for it by hanging out with older rejects from around the neighborhood. They would run around Schelkovsky Shosse, terrorizing bums and unfortunates that strayed into their turf.
Last Thursday, according to Moskovsky Komsomolets, Winnie was hanging out with a 12- and a 16-year-old, drinking vodka. After finishing a couple bottles, the three were feeling pretty good. They decided to make sure no undesirables were affecting the quality of life in their neighborhood.
The vigilantes found a group of homeless guys hanging around and started making threats. Most of the crowd ran away, but a single drunken old man stuck around. He was old enough to get a pension, but ever since his son had chased him out of their apartment, he had stopped collecting. Instead, he lived in a basement under a building not far from Winnie’s home and survived by begging and collecting bottles.
Because of his age or drunkenness, he wasn’t quick enough to escape from the kids. They began beating the helpless drunk with bottles and sticks until he was senseless. And then they kept on. His body was found the next day by the same bums who had fled the scene.
However, the kids haven’t been charged yet with anything except hooliganism. The militsia is still waiting for a verdict on the cause of death. It is possible, they say, that he simply died of old age.
Three weeks without hot water. |
PENITENCE
When a kid gets caught smoking for the first time, his parents might make him chain smoke the entire pack, thinking that will make him sick and quit smoking once and for all. That same logic apparently works for teen murderers, too. If you make them sit with the decaying body for a week, chances are they will never murder again.
Last fall, a case seemed to bear out this conclusion. A 17-year-old Muscovite got kicked out of his parents’ apartment after he graduated school. They told him he needed to be either working or studying if he wanted to live with them. He didn’t do either and, after a summer of lounging around, his parents finally made good on their promise.
With no place to call home, he started free loading with whoever would take him. One evening, a 50-something man that he met on the street offered him a place to crash. The kid, thinking there were no strings attached, accepted immediately.
But things weren’t so simple. The man was expecting sex in exchange for his generosity. The kid hadn’t yet lost his innocence (there’ll be plenty of time for that in prison), and reacted violently when the man tried to jump in the sack with him. He strangled the aging queer to death and made a break for the door.
Unfortunately, the door was locked. He tore the apartment apart looking for the key but the dead guy had hid it well. He couldn’t find it anywhere. Calling the cops wouldn’t help, either, because he didn’t want to implicate himself in the murder. It seemed smarter just to keep looking for the key.
The days went by and the body grew more rank, but still no key. He figured the worse the body smelled, the less likely he would be able to hide the body if he called for help. Now he really had no choice but to find the key. For seven days the kid ran around trying everything he could to open the door, all to no avail.
Finally, with the food supply running low and the kid contemplating cannibalism, help arrived. Some of the dead man’s relatives showed up to check on him, as he hadn’t so much as called once that week. By that point, the kid didn’t put up much of a fight - he actually had to get admitted to a hospital after breathing the rancid air for so long.
But, at least he learned his lesson. He hasn’t murdered anyone since.
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
The director of the Ochakovskaya Champaign Factory and his 22-year-old son were shot to death in the middle of the woods to the north of Moscow. The militsia can’t say yet whether it was a contract hit or just random violence but anyone with any familiarity with the alcohol business in Russia would put their money on the former.
Vasily Pischenkov spent his summer weekends at the dacha with his family and apparently thought that bodyguards were only necessary in the city. He found out otherwise while walking after midnight behind his property. According to Moskovsky Komsomolets, the killer or killers unloaded a hail of bullets into the father and son. Vasily expired on the spot and his son made it to the emergency room before kicking it.
After signing with Red Star Modeling Agency, Ivan’s face was copyrighted. |
TIL DEATH DO WE PART
A bride and her new mother-in-law were given Columbian necklaces in Moscow Oblast town Kupavna. The 19-year-old murderer, who had what Moskovsky Komsomolets called “psychological problems,” broke into their apartment and slit their throats “Chechen style,” meaning from ear to ear.
He walked right into the apartment and cut first the 68-year-old pensioner’s and then the 27-year-old newlywed’s throat. After taking care of the women, he threw the knife out of the window and left the scene, covered in blood. He didn’t take anything from the apartment.
Several hours later the husband discovered the bodies while returning from his job as a night security guard. The murderer, still bloody from his night on the town, was caught soon after.