the eXile - bar-dak

Issue #12/93, June 22 - July 6, 2000

b a r - d a k


	Come see Alphaville and sing along to their hit song, “Forever Shite”.

Alfaville. Friday, June 23rd. Hotel Rossiya Concert Hall (Metro Kitai Gorod). 19.00

You know that really annoying shite song “Forever Young”? If you’ve survived listening to it without wanting to ram your car at full speed into a packed bus stop, then here’s something that should make you want to attach 20 ki’s of TNT to your body and take a few thousand dipshits down with you: Alfaville lives! What’s best about this concert is that you can expect the audience to sing along with the band, music turned down to a hush, as they squeal in disorder: “Fyorever yunk! I vant to be ze fyoever yunk!” The thing about Alfaville is that ever since 1985, these guys are like gods here, following that weird Russian tradition where fag-central bands are gods in a land of hysterical homophobes. Think about it: Queen, Elton John, Pet Shop Boys, Marc Almond, Bloodhound Gang (whose nutty homo-humor posters were designed specifically for the Russian homophobe/homophile market)... you get the drift. Tix: free for HIV-positive kids

Vidy Ryb. Thursday, June 29th. Sixteen Tons (Metro: Ulitsa 1905). 22.00

These guys are a kick-butt electronica duo well-known in the West but barely known here in their hometown of Moscow. They play a kind of zone-y trip hop style, and had a minor hit doing a remix of a Tequillajazz number sometime back. For those of you who really know your blips and bleeps and are all proud ‘n pedantic about it, then you’ll be psyched to learn that Muslimguaze did a remix of one of Vidy Ryb’s numbers, which just shows to go how fucking cool Vidy Ryb is, cuz like Muslimguaze is from England. And England, you know, is ground zero for the whole blips ‘n bleeps thing. So, load up on your mitsubishis and whatever shitty E tabs you can score (importny ecstasy usually means it’s from Riga or Narva), bleach and iron your white gloves, and prepare to trip hard at this top-notch electronica show. Kewl! Tix: 100R

Noch Na Ivana Kupala. Saturday, June 24th. Klub Dom (Bolshoi Ovchinnikovsky Pereulok D. 24, Str. 4; Metro: Novokuznetskaya). 20.00 to morning

This is an old Slavic pagan holiday that they call “Noch na Ivana Kupala” which has variously been described as a Russian Halloween as well as a Russian “Debbie Does Dallas”. In old pagan times, dyevs and dudes would run into the forest where papertnik would blossom, and they’d celebrate it by mass boning. Today, they still bone like rabbits here, but once in a while it helps to have an occasion to excuse the behavior, since the Christian church makes everyone so hypocritically prude and ashamed of this kind of stuff. For this party, some Moscow avant-gardists like German Vinogradov, some bald dude who bangs all kinds of weird cans and drums, will lead the way, as well Vladimir Chekasin, a free-form saxophonist. Expect a lot of drunken artists and intelligentsia types. For our money, we expect that the beard factor will be a little too high, but for some of you intullektchoowal types, this might be the ultimate singles pickup thing, a kind of Hungry Duck for the pretentious. Tix: 100R

Detsky Panadol. Sunday, July 2nd. Mirazh. 22.00

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a chance to see Moscow’s kickest assiest band, Detsky Panadol. You may have remembered them from the eXile’s Third Anniversary bash at the now-defunct Jazz Kafe. Then again, if you were there, you may not remember much. Take it from us, these guys don’t disappoint. What’ll make this evening special isn’t just the super-clean sound system for a unique Panadol show, but the occasion: a celebration especially for Moscow students who graduated from their universities. Here’s the deal: kids, if you received your diploma, produce some kind of proof at the door, and youll get in Free! We nit you shot! For everyone else, including hairy-assed old pervs like the eXile editorial staff, entrance and drinks will be ochen cheap. As in 30R for .5l of Sokol pivo. Has promise to be a fun, shame-ridden, dance-packed evening, which becomes an increasing rarity in Moscow nightclubs from July through August, as everyone heads to their stupid dachas. Tix: 50R?

Canada Day. July 1 Moosehead.

Blame Canada! Sure, they have floppy heads and beady eyes, and we really wish the sonsabitches would die, but that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate Canada Day! Oh no! Why, where would we be without Canada, folks? We’d be Men-Without-Hats-less, Loverboy-less, Jesus-of-Montreal-less, and, well, just a lot less lame. And that’s not what we want. We want MORE Canada! More, more, more. In two languages! And in Inuit! So come celebrate the greatest failure in the modern history of the nation-state, a land mass that still doesn’t know what its purpose is even hundreds of years after its founding! They’re the Russia Journal of nations, and they’re damn proud!

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