Issue #23/104, Nov 23 - Dec 7, 2000 
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| CuckoIdry with Hulas |
| I just got back from a week of cuckoldry in the
South Pacific, and boy is my Id tired. It wasn’t the worst cuckolding
I’ve ever gotten, but then you have to understand: I’m something of
a specialist. My standards are high. And even by my standards, it
was a tough week. |
| The eXile’s Third Reich Uniform of the Week! |
| In this issue, the eXile takes a closer look at
one of the classics of National Socialist fashion - the summer uniform
of the army Major of the General Staff. |
| Pillow Talk |
| Continuing excerpts from the “Stringer” Yellow
Pages. In this issue, the eXile looks at a phone call between two
of Russia’s all-time all-star bagmen, Andrei Vavilov and Arkady Yevstafiyev.
While Vavilov has made the free agency rounds, working for both sides
at one point or another during the celebrated “Banker’s War”, Yefstafiyev
was a loyal bagman for the “Young Reformers.” eXile readers may recall
that Yevstafiyev was one of the men caught carrying the famous “Xerox
box” full of cash out of the White House in 1996. |
| Lenin’s Picks |
| The founder of the modern communist state has
had a rough year at the betting booth. In fact, if our coach Lenin
doesn’t shape up by week 15, we may have a quarterback controversy
on our hands. Chairman Mao has been asked to put down his clipboard
and warm up on the sidelines. In any case, here are Coach Red’s picks
for this week’s televised games at Metellitsa Sportland |
| The Allen Iverson Sports Syllogism of the Week |
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‘Sup, sports fans! Welcome to Allen Iverson’s Sports Syllogism
of the Week. Like many of you fans out there-both those in Philadelphia
and in other cities-I frequently use multiple categorical propositions
to fashion logical arguments. Typically in these instances, I use
what we in the NBA call the categorical syllogism, which is just
a fancy pro name for the everyday syllogism we all used on our neighborhood
courts growing up. As in all syllogisms, the classical categorical
syllogism is an argument consisting of three categorical propositions,
each of which is used exactly twice. |
| Cliche Watch |
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...Lemieux’s thoughts and prayers went out to Stevens (r) and his
family... |
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Separated Off-tackle? |
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| Fudgepacker Ben Affleck... | ...and Green Bay Packer Brett Favre? |
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