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daily inquisition

Today’s Defendant: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we have the joyous task of elevating the late Kathryn Johnston, of Altanta, Georgia, to sainthood. Saint Kathryn found glory in November 2006, at the age of 92. She was sitting quietly in her hovel when a squad of drug cops found marijuana in a small grove of trees near her building. Eager for a victim, they planted it on the first man who walked by and offered him a deal: play Judas and give them the name of a cocaine dealer and he would go free. The man pointed at the first apartment he saw, and by God’s Grace picked that of the martyr Kathryn.

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September 9th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr

Daily Inquisition: White Trash

Today’s Defendant: White Trash Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we must prune a vile weed spreading over what was once a beautiful continent: white trash. It is with heavy heart we pronounce sentence, for we are survivors of Berkeley,…

September 8th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: White Trash