Today’s Defendant: White America

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we write in praise of White America. It’s long overdue, says Frank Rich, the New York Times columnist. He wrote a recent article called “In Defense of White America” in which he argues that we’ve all misjudged the Caucasian Category in this country and owe it a big apology. The media, in particular, has tagged White America as racist and therefore unlikely to vote for a black man. But now that Barack Obama is up in the polls, we see how wrong we’ve been. Look how free of prejudice White America is! A teeming mass of tolerance, that’s White America for you, says Frank Rich.

Which is why the McCain-Palin campaign is losing, see. They thought White America was still prejudiced like it used to be back in spring of 2008, when Hillary Clinton was counting on what she called “hard-working Americans, white Americans” to help her win the primary. But White America stopped being racist sometime in April, apparently, and we should all give it a big round of applause. Yay White America! Proudly non-racist after only 232 years!

Well, admittedly, there are still a few racist holdouts, says Frank Rich. But the good news is they’re coming around fast:

There are even ‘racists for Obama,’ as Politico labels the phenomenon: White Americans whose distrust of black people in general crumbles when they actually get to know specific black people, including a presidential candidate who extends a genuine helping hand in a time of national crisis.

Yay “Racists for Obama”! Willing to be helped by a black person! And just think, it’s only 145 years since the Emancipation Proclamation made helping White Americans voluntary instead of compulsory!

Statement of the Defense: You know, some say that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.

Verdict: Kudos to White America! Praise, laud, hosannah! God the Father says, “Great job, kids! I knew you’d get it eventually! Daddy’s so proud!”

Read more: Barack Obama, Frank Rich, God the Father, Hillary Clinton, new york times, Politico, White America, The eXiled Inquisition Team, The Daily Inquisition

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