eXile Sport Notes:

Ex-Cowboy Michael Irvin: Still addicted to that blow

It must be summer again—Michael Irvin was busted on cocaine charges! But though this has been a good week for professional sports arrests, it was domestic abuse, not cocaine, that was the infraction of the day. In one remarkable incident, two separate players from the Nebraska football team, a backup running back named “Thunder” Collins was arrested for “thundering” two different girlfriends—just a day before his teammate, placekicker John Bron, was arrested on two counts of third-degree assault for beating his girlfriend and her friend. That’s right, sports fans, a placekicker! They’re not just harmless South Americans anymore.

It was a bad week for football in general. Massive 6’7” Georgia tight end Randy McMichael suffered the indignity of being suspended for his first game this season after being involved in a violent bar fight with one 21-year-old Amanda Kim, who suffered stitches in the altercation.

Leon Searcy

Meanwhile, Baltimore Ravens left tackle Leon Searcy’s domestic abuse trial has been diverted to a pretrial intervention program, effectively placing him on six months’ probation. Florida State attorneys forbid him to have any “violent contact” with his wife, Sonya, and sentenced him to the dreaded “anger management counseling.” Searcy was arrested after kicking his wife in the leg when she attempted to call 911.

Deuce McAllister

The woes continued for the defending Super Bowl champion Ravens on an America West flight to Las Vegas, where strapping Ravens cornerback Deuce McAllister was arrested last week for disturbing the peace after being involved in an “altercation” with stewardesses over seating arrangements. McAllister and former Raven teammate Clarence Love were preparing to board the flight to Las Vegas when “one or both” of the

Clarence Love

players shoved a flight attendant when told they would not get the seats they wanted. “Both of them were screaming vulgarities and threats to the airline,” an America West spokesman said. The Ravens are favorites to return to the Superbowl this year.

New England Patriots wide receiver Terry Glenn, meanwhile, saw a $1 million bonus payment withheld after team officials decided to wait see if

Terry Glenn

he would be convicted of domestic abuse charges against the unnamed “mother of his child.” Glenn will probably ask for a continuation of his trial, which will allow him to play the season for the underachieving Patriots, and probably settle the matter out of court sometime between now and the team’s mathematical elimination from playoff contention.

Kansas City Chiefs offensive tackle Victor Riley is in more serious trouble after being arraigned on domestic abuse charges last week. Riley

Victor Riley

is accused of ramming his vehicle repeatedly into a vehicle containing his wife and their infant daughter. Not only does he face several counts of felony assault, but the more ominous charges of misdemeanor damage to property, child endangerment, and the inevitable “leaving the scene of an accident.”

Meanwhile, Tampa Bay Buccaneers undrafted rookie cornerback Alex Ardley put a quick end to his NFL career after being arrested for drunken driving in an incident in which he drove his SUV into the house of an unsuspecting neighbor. Tallahassee resident Linda Lee Layton told reporters she was “sleeping comfortably” on the couch of her house when the front wall of the building “exploded” and Ardley’s black car barrelled in. As a junior last season at Clemson, Ardley was an all-Atlantic Coast selection with six interceptions. He was released by the Bucs “with regret” after the incident.

Probably the most impressive sports arrest this week came not in football, but in basketball, where Utah Jazz reserve DeShawn Stevenson was arrested for statutory rape. Stevenson, who averaged 0.5 points per game last season as a rookie for the Jazz, had apparently gone home to his hometown in Fresno and looked up some of his old basketball buddies, including a former Fresno high school teammate, also named Deshawn, Deshawn Anderson. The two did what any self-respecting minor basketball stars would do, which is pick up a pair of fourteen year-old girls, bring them to a local Howard Johnson’s motel, feed them a bottle of brandy, and have semi-consensual sex with them while a third friend, Richard Millsap, looked on, not participating in the sex. The 6’5” reserve guard is expected to be released from the Jazz this season. Stevenson was caught, incidentally, when police set up a taped phone call to the low-scoring #2 guard in which he admitted taking advantage of her daughter.

Last but not least, a sports crime that wasn’t. Earlier in the week, sports wire services were aglow with the news that former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Golden Richards had been arrested in Houston for parole violations. It turns out that th actual culprit, one Gordon “Golden“ Richards, had only claimed to be the famous blond wide receiver while working as a bus driver in downtown Houston. When contacted, the real Richards, who caught a touchdown pass in the 1977 Super Bowl, denied having any involvement in the mysterious incident. “It wasn’t me,” he said. “I’ve never been happier.”