Issue #07/62, April 8 - 21, 1999  

"Years in the Making": not exactly the phrase you expect to hear describing a fish & chips joint, but such is Moscow, post-crisis. Presumably, some of you have even been waiting expectantly for this place to open. And presumably, most of you are Brits, so I'll try to keep the Anglo-bashing to a minimum. Frankly, I'm most excited about Paul McBride's Fish & Chips because it gives me an excuse to refer (see title) to the Philadelphia Phillies' gloriously 'froed '80s outfielder with relative impunity--even if fish & chips is more fry than bake. That ought to do for a preamble, no?

So we started with the $5 unlimited salad bar--a vaguely Russkified disappointment with too-tiny serving spoons and plates and too much mayo (good croutons, though). Skipping the various pickled apps, we had a liberal sampling of "extras" ($1-1.50), which included scrumptious spicy sausages (imported, like most of the raw materials, from foggy Albion), pleasingly dense fish cakes, canned-looking but yummy baked beans, pea fritters, and the world-famous mushy peas themselves. Mosy of these are also available as entrees along with chips, mushy peas, bread, and sauce (tartar, curry, etc.) in the $5-7 range.

But of course, center stage at McBride's F&C is occupied by the fish & chips themselves. Fish means the old standby cod ($9/12), the more typically northern-tasting (as we're told) haddock ($13), and my childhood favorite--plaice ($14). And chips--well heck, you know what that means (i.e., french fries, for all you really sheltered American types). Other entrees include 1/2 a roast chicken (tasty, but not exactly excitement on a plate), Cornish pastie (stuffed with lamb--a real treat), and mushroom/chicken pie (I didn't dig it, but the fellow eaters did). In general, the portions might seem smallish to some, but the prices are low enough to permit overeaters to double up without going bust.

Desserts are limited to ice cream (Baskin Robbins) and sherbet, but may be expanded slightly in the future. Perhaps the best part of all is the low prices on drinks--Baltika for $2, glasses of wine for $2-3, soft drinks for $1, and the so-called "McGarita" for a mere $5. In other words, even the stingiest Brit will be able to afford a healthy buzz while enjoying a meal of fried-fried and tasty fish.

The semi-posh interior can seem out of place (as did the bizarre fashion show on opening night), but isn't it about time you stopped being so pedantic? Oh yeah--the even more democratic take-out section offers most of the menu options at about 50% of the dining room prices. How's that for cheapo eXhole friendly?