Issue #13/68, July 1 - 15, 1999  

[sic] OF REJECTION

My name is Igor Shnurenko, and I'm chief editor of "Yest Vykhod", the Moscow street paper. As I sit in the Moscow Times office, I read the MT every day. The MT allows some Russians to express their opinions on its op-ed page, but I get an impression that those allowed to the sanctuary should be abiding by the strict party line. Those Russians are allowed to dump shit on everything Russian, from politics to the national character. To get your opinion published, you have to be "an inner emigre" dreaming of moving to New York, New York or Stillwater, Oklahoma, switching to English when drunk, and blaming those stupid Russians for everything from Chechnia to Kosovo. Recently, as the paper turned aggressively pro-NATO, I sent to the Moscow Times my opinion on the issue of the collective responsibility of the Serbs. Of course, it did not get published as I did not follow the NATO line. After a short while, a front page story appeared in the paper saying the Russians have been the main perpertators of the massacres in Kosovo. Of course, it was supported only by a usual hearsay from the ready Albanians (who, as you might remember, have "witnessed" the Serbian planes bombing the Albanian refugee column - the crime that later was hesitantly admitted by NATO as its own "mistake"). No Russian names were revealed, indeed. The MT missed the factual report in the Guardian last week where a Briton who took part in the war and who actually killed many Serbs (as he admitted) was interviewed. That Briton has had a real name, but his story did not make it into the Moscow Times headlines.

Nothing like "Britons Involved in Kosovo Killing Spree" appeared in the paper. Now, every journalism student in the US is being taught that you have to restrain from using the nationality attributions when reporting crime.

The front-page headlines like "The Negro Brutally Murdered a Hispanic Family" published in the New York Times would have caused a havok and riot in the Big Apple. But here is Russia. Here it's OK. After a while, I figured, if the Moscow Times is using this type of reporting, look for those who will benefit from it.

Demonizing the Russians is a way for the NATO propaganda machine to incite as much hatred toward the coming Russian troops in Kosovo as possible. To get as many Russians killed as possible, and, hopefully, to get rid of the pain in the ass that the Russian troops in Kosovo may eventually become. What surprises me is not the pro-NATO bias of the Moscow Times, but how fast the MT takes the cue from the NATO PR-machine.

In an attachment, I'm sending you my modest piece on the issue of the collective responsibility of the Serbs that I dared to send to the Mocow Times.

Yours,
Igor Shnurenko
(encloses submission)

Dear Igor,
Sorry, but we didn't like your article either.

LEGENDS OF THE MCFAUL

Dear Mark:
You don't know me, but I sure know the good doctor McFaul. All of us unfortunate enough to work with USAID in the mid-nineties remember him well. I have fond memories of the officious Prick. The many meetings he dominated by force of his superior intelligence. The catty comments belittling non-academic input. His backroom deals and backstabbing telephone calls. Or his bristling wit... oooo.

I also remember the twentysomething girls running the USAID democracy office in 1994-96 and how they cooed and creamed whenever he stopped in to check on his dough trough. I remember the countless "he's so cuuuute" comments from this giggling gaggle more than I recall their insightful reform strategies. He sure had the USAID cash cow by the udders in those days. And today we wonder why it all failed...

I remember dining with McFaul and some of his cohorts at the home of a USAID bigwig on the occasion of an even bigger wig visiting the region from Starbase USAID. Clinton's man furrowed his brow and worried that the USAID funding seemed to get so few results. McFaul pontificated about the flaws in the programs that brought the non-results we are still seeing today. The good doctor's speech was interrupted by the DC-boy, who reminded McFaul of his role in setting the agency's spending priorities. Your editorial calling bullshit on his recent article reminded me of that evening. (Thanks alot! I thought I had buried that memory long ago.)

One error in your article, however. McFaul is no longer with Stanford in the capacity he enjoyed during his Beltway Bandit days. In fact, he is no longer even in California. Today, he is only a few blocks away from the White House at the Carnegie Washington office. We can all rest easier knowing he is even closer today to the braintrust guiding Clinton's sparkling foreign policy.

Do you think he's in the NSC blathering on about how the Kosovo situation is seen in Russia? Oh, he's there. Is he brownbagging it at USAID, helping spend the few dollars they haven't yet flushed down the toilet? He sure is. Of course, his thrice-yearly ticket-punching trips to Russia keep his information f-f-fresh.

Can he be found by the FSB if necessary? Yep: Carnegie Endowment for Overbloated Egos; 1779 Massachusetts Avenue NW; Washington, DC 20036. Direct line: 202/939-2322. And a little motivational hint for Boris Nicolaivitch's cloak-and-dagger boys -- what does this spell: C - I - A !!

I am especially happy to know you've joined the hunt to bring down this charlatan (but its too late for Russia). There are many of us, you know. Your updates remain vital to the cause.

Good hunting, tavarich.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
What we really want to know is what the secret is to McFaul's snapper-melting charm. We think it's the Jacques-Desanges-knock-'em-out hairdo, although others have conjectured that he's just such an asshole that ambitious female American consultants can't resist him.

HEAVY [sic]CASM

In preparing that report, your famously objective and professional newspaper missed out on a major international poll, available at http://www.angusreid.com/studies/pr990422_2.html. It shows strong support (at least early on in the war) in NATO countries for bombing the hell out of the Serbs. Oh, wait, I get it...you were making a point by only presenting one side of the story! Wow, that's effective and responsible journalism for ya!

No, hang on a second, I remember now...you guys are a humour publication, not serious journalists. Gosh, I'm so confused. It's almost as if you guys want to have it both ways! What are you trying to be: Moscow's very own funny-men Western satirists, or the serious and angry voice of your generation?

This message was sent through the Kosovo Privacy Project's Anonymous Email page

Dear Kosovo,
Oo, that's a zinger! You really called us on that one!

MCFAUL FAN CLUB

Dear Mister Ames,
Thank You for your article "Arrest Michael McFaul" in Moscow Babylon in the #11/66 issue of The Exile. At the risk of appearing patronizing, I do truly mean "thank You" because it happens, I think, ever the more rarely, that enough diligence and conscientiousness can be found to actually track and expose the numerous permutations of the gangerene You have written about.

Which of course, is the greatest cause for its continued propagation.

The really depressing part of this case is that for as yet not completely explained reasons, Washington historically spawns this particular kind of drone. I suppose a case could be made for its historic derivation from the likes of the framers of our "manifest destiny," as we conquered a continent (meaning "stold land") with our optimistic, up-beat, can-do attitude. finding its latest apogee in R.Reagan. You will find, I believe, a tincture of it in every American embassy or consulate as You wonder whether or not the bespectacled preying-mantis like creature peering at You from the other side of the desk could be endowed with person-bearing soul.

And so, there are many more clones to take his place.

But, God bless You, Mister Ames, for your trouble.

Fr. Norbert Karava, OFMCap

Dear Norbert,
The best way that God could bless Mr. Ames would be to offer him a gift. Like for example giving McFaul some weird-ass disease like Epstein-Barr or anal herpes. Something like that would make Russians, and us, feel a whole lot better.

HOMAGE TO PRATT-ALONIA

Besides questioning Pratt's sexuality simply because he has a homo name(Staurt)...his last story about his time with his supposed girlfriend...Amy. Perhaps Amy is her/his/its Post-op name, and its real name is Andre, or Andrew. Pratt is a vaginally-defeated bitch, and therefore his analysis and reviews are of little of no use to real men. We want to know where the freshest piece of tail is...where the hottest trim is hanging...not about Pratsy getting his balls handed to him by some wench. Franco

Dear Franco,
Stuart Pratt replies: "Gee, what a surprise here: a homophobic frat boy (with a fascist nom de plume) who can't handle my progressive approach to nightlife. Your letter speaks for itself. That's all I have to say."