If you’re wondering why disgraced pseudo-rebel Rick Santelli and his pals at CNBC kept strangely quiet about the hundreds of billions in bailouts right up until a couple weeks ago, when the government finally extended its bailout program beyond the corporate world and to regular American citizens, there’s a simple explanation. Rick and his coworkers at CNBC have been living high on the government bailout hog. Yup, “Slick Rick” Santelli and his fair-weather free-market comrades are nuthin’ but old-fashioned welfare queens pimping a newfangled libertarian hustle to cover it all up.
Since last October, CNBC’s parent company General Electric has taken at least $139 billion in government-backed loan guarantees to keep GE Capital Corp from going belly-up and taking the whole company, including Rick Santelli, with it.
No wonder Rick signed that confession on CNBC’s site, professing his love for Obama and the government stimulus package. To quote Tray’s father in Don’t Be A Menace In South Central: “Ain’t nuttin wrong with welfare checks, that’s somethin called ‘free money’!”
We repeat: Rick Santelli, along with Lawrence Kudlow and all the other free-marketeer hustlers at CNBC are nothing but bailout queens posing as angry, principled anti-bailout crusaders. Repeat again, to get it into your thick heads: Rick Santelli’s salary is underwritten by government bailout money… YOU, PROTESTERS AGAINST BAILOUTS, PAY RICK’S SALARY! And yet, gosh, he’s just soooo angry about his taxdollars going to bail you out, because as he said in his famous “rant,” he doesn’t want to bail out “losers” like you. He just wants losers like you to bail out winners like him and Kudlow. And you know, in a way, he’s right–you really are losers if you don’t demand that Rick pays you back the money he took from you and all of us.
This t-shirt says, “Sucker On Board!”
This is just too fucking funny, and perfectly captures the off-the-scale hypocrisy, corruption and laughing-in-your-peasant-fucking-face culture that defines America’s ruling elite. Not that it’s helping the company much–GE is up to its sweaty bald-spot in credit default swap instruments, in such deep shit that there might not even be a GE to shovel American taxpayer billions to come summertime, reports Bloomberg.
As for you regular folks out there, all we can say is that anyone who took Santelli seriously (and granted, there are few who really did, most of you were paid to pretend you supported him, right Megan McArdle?) will go down as the biggest jackass suckers that our sucker-infested country has produced since… well, yeah, suckers are born and born-again every nanosecond here, so skip that. I mean let’s face it, you people give “sucker” a bad name. You’re not even Tootsie fucking Pops.
Meanwhile, those of us who are genuinely pissed off about funding ungrateful bailout queens like Santelli–welfare queens who want to deny us our day at the feeding trough, that is– need to take action. We need to demand that “Slick” Rick Santelli returns his bailout money-which is OUR fucking money–money he’s not even gracious enough to say “thank you” for. Give it back, Rick!
Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.
Click the cover & buy the book!
Got something to say to us? Then send us a letter.
Want us to stick around? Donate to The eXiled.
Twitter twerps can follow us at twitter.com/exiledonline