the eXile

Issue #23/104, Nov 23 - Dec 7, 2000 


Pepsi-Cola® presents
Ilya's Sex Links

Press Review
Kino Korner
Moscow Babylon
Book Review


eXile Productions Present: the new hit single

in the R.F.
Putin Image Limited

Available in convenient MP3 format
Songs Section

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News Flash! Russia Journal Publisher Goes Berserk, Attacks Exile Maid!

Feature Story

The Zhiguli already had about 600 liters of gasoline and diesel in it when Volodya went to go pay off the GAI. We were filling up at the lone gas station in an unknown Russian derevnya in the Rostov region, only a few kilometers over the border from Ukraine. There were no asphalt roads in town. Aside from a few cars and aging Kharkovsky tractors owned by the neighborhood kolkhoz, there was nothing that seemed to justify a 24-hour gas station in the village of Mozhaevko, even if it was just a shoddy collection of bricks and fuel tanks. Read on...


Seven years ago, holed up in my father’s house in San Jose, unemployed and over-the-hill, I devised a plan with my spiritual mentor, Dr. John Dolan. It was called “The Pincer Plan” and it went something like this: I’d move out of San Jose and attack the U.S. from Russia, poison pen raised like a bayonet-tipped flag, while he would lead a charge on America’s soft underbelly from New Zealand. We’d sweep through from the East and from the South, cutting the country in two, pushing a tidal wave of Beigeist blood in our midst... Read on...

Hark! A Miracle is Born
The eXile is pleased to announce that one of the expatriate community’s most distinguished and renowned members, Heidi Hollinger, is about to give birth. We welcome and wholeheartedly support Hollinger’s pregnancy, and we expect that other local English-language publications will set aside their petty differences and likewise embrace her gift to the world: a child. Read on...
the eXile's E-Z nightlife section
  1. Bar Reviews: HUNG LIKE A HORSE
    ...I told her to meet me at Bega, this new club at Moscow’s central hippodrome... I went on to Cruise, where they just opened a new disco on the third floor... Oh, and by the way, I guess I should apologize to Portfolio. Fuck, I’ll admit it, even I can be wrong.
  2. Food Reviews: TURNING JAPANESE
    When I heard that the owner of the heretofore unknown KAMAKURA was claiming that his restaurant is the best Japanese restaurant in town and all the others are “shit,” my initial reaction was that the first assertion is not necessarily all that impressive and the second is true virtually by definition. That said, I’m pleased to report that Kamakura does in fact serve top-notch sushi and is perhaps the only Moscow eatery to date that has mastered the apparently complex art of tempura.
  3. Events: Evgeny Kiselov and his ensemble. Green Gray. Austin Powers Party. Motorhead.
  4. Bar Guide
  5. Food Guide

“Not now, honey. I’m reading the eXile book!”

Get your copy now at Shakespeare’s Books or order it from before it goes bankrupt. “The eXile: Sex, Drugs and Libel in the New Russia”: the book they call “more fun than fucking a vacuum cleaner” and “the perfect Hannukah gift”!

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We're expanding!
Hi, my name is Derk Sauer. I want to introduce you our new, exciting publications as part of Independent Media's massive growth. We believe that this proves our further committment to the Russian market. As part of our comprehensive reorganization plan, we will expand our presence in the Russian-language market, furthering our goal of reaching every segment of the potential readership...
CuckoIdry with Hulas
I just got back from a week of cuckoldry in the South Pacific, and boy is my Id tired. It wasn’t the worst cuckolding I’ve ever gotten, but then you have to understand: I’m something of a specialist. My standards are high. And even by my standards, it was a tough week.
The eXile’s Third Reich Uniform of the Week!
In this issue, the eXile takes a closer look at one of the classics of National Socialist fashion - the summer uniform of the army Major of the General Staff.
Pillow Talk
Continuing excerpts from the “Stringer” Yellow Pages. In this issue, the eXile looks at a phone call between two of Russia’s all-time all-star bagmen, Andrei Vavilov and Arkady Yevstafiyev. While Vavilov has made the free agency rounds, working for both sides at one point or another during the celebrated “Banker’s War”, Yefstafiyev was a loyal bagman for the “Young Reformers.”
Lenin’s Picks
The founder of the modern communist state has had a rough year at the betting booth. In fact, if our coach Lenin doesn’t shape up by week 15, we may have a quarterback controversy on our hands. In any case, here are Coach Red’s picks for this week’s televised games at Metellitsa Sportland
The Allen Iverson Sports Syllogism of the Week

‘Sup, sports fans! Welcome to Allen Iverson’s Sports Syllogism of the Week. Like many of you fans out there-both those in Philadelphia and in other cities-I frequently use multiple categorical propositions to fashion logical arguments. Typically in these instances, I use what we in the NBA call the categorical syllogism, which is just a fancy pro name for the everyday syllogism we all used on our neighborhood courts growing up.

Cliche Watch

...Lemieux’s thoughts and prayers went out to Stevens (r) and his family...




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