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shot in podyezd |
connected w/ Russian sports |
murder for less than $100 |
really stupid criminal |
explosive device |
cries for help ignored |
perp in body count |
children |
"investigation continuing" |
carved up like a turkey |
cannibalism |
riddled with bullets |
related to victim's job |
Reforms in Action
Who says Russians can't adjust to market conditions? Here's a heartening tale from the Podmoskovny town of Yarkhom, in the Dmitrovsky region. Check this out: a young mother was walking her 9-month old baby down the street, when she suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom. Spying an old friend, she left her baby (with carriage) with the friend and rushed off in search of a public toilet. The friend then did the logical thing and wandered across the street to a friend's apartment for a quick visit; not wanting to haul the baby up the stairs, she left it, avec carriage, on the street. When she went down five minutes later, the carriage was missing, and the only thing left in its place was a bag of empty beer bottles. Police were summoned and were able to establish that a pair of young children had been seen in the area carrying a bag full of bottles.
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| "This is really embrassing, but does anyone have a kleenex?"
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Following that lead, they were able to track down a pair of nine year-old children, one boy and one girl, who had been on the way to the store to deposit empty bottles when they spotted the carriage and decided to swipe the baby. Having conquered the problem of supply, they then tried to tackle demand, heading to an uncle's house with the intention of selling the baby for a million rubles. The uncle, unfortunately, wasn't home, so they decided to try their parents out. At home, however, the cops nabbed them and reclaimed the baby. According to Moskovsky Komsomolets, the mother of the baby is still in shock. The father of the young male kidnapper, on the other hand, is proud of his son's entreprenurial instincts. According to the paper, he said that if he had been in the same situation, he would have tried to sell the baby too.
Quiet Down, Wiil ya!
A note to people at noise in their apartments at night: don't worry, your neighbors won't bother you about it. Instead, they'll kill the people next door. Last week 50 year-old Yuri Korolyev was sentenced to 20 years in prison for a double homicide, committed in April of this year. Back then, Korolyev had just returned from Saturday work duty and laid down to sleep. But the sound of hammering from a neighboring apartment, where repairs were being done, kept him awake. Crying out, as he later testified, "They're hammering again, the bastards!",he raced upstairs to set things straight. In the stairwell, he met his upstairs neighbors-an 89-year-old woman and her 62 year-old blind son. Confronted with this menace, Korolyev defended himself in the only way he knew how-he beat the old woman to death, then reached for her blind son and twisted his neck, breaking it and killing him. A good citizen, Korolyev susbequently went home and reported two murders, although he didn't confess to them. But here's where the story gets really funny: the two victims hadn't repaired their apartment since 1989, meaning that it had been someone else's repair job keeping him awake. For all his trouble, he didn't get his good night's sleep. But he got a good laugh.
I Said Two Bottles!
Why are thousands of people in Russia senselessly murdered every year? Because they won't fucking listen! Here's an example: a man in the Kolomenskaya region sends his 82 year-old mother to the store. He gives her money. He tells her, clealy and reasonably, that he wants two bottles of vodka.
And then she returns a half-hour later with not two bottles, but one bottle-and a piece of fish! What would you do? Well...you might not, in the end, do what one Moscow man did last week, which was beat the old woman for an hour and a half, reducing her (as police experts later described it) to "one bloody stain," breaking "virtually every bone in her body," and not even eating the fish. That would be an extreme reaction. But you'd be mad. Of course, not that mad...
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