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low-yield murder |
"skull-brain trauma" |
podyezd |
really stupid criminal |
children |
Russian Sports Connection |
murder-suicide |
cries for help ignored |
"investigation continuing" |
carved up like a turkey |
related to victim's job |
cannibalism |
riddled with bullets |
old people |
Dog Bites Tit
Here's a story that would give us the creepy crawlies, if it had anything creepy or crawly in it. Last Sunday, along trolleybus route no. 16-which to you and me, is a line not far from the Ptichy rinok-a woman was savagely attacked by a Rottweiler.
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| "Damn! If I'd killed that kid myself, I couldda had this bike!" |
According to police reports, the woman was about to enter the trolley, while the dog and its 37 year-old, healthy, male owner were about to exit the car, when suddenly...the dog lunged forward and, according to Moskovsky Komsomolets, "attached itself to her nipple". The trolley drove on for a short distance before officers of the GAI arrived on the scene and shot the dog. Despite their promptness, the woman lost a tennis-ball sized piece of tit to the seven-month old attack dog. The owner has been charged with "improper care of a dog or a cat" and will be fined, if found guilty, 30 whole rubles. And who says there ain't no justice? Incidentally, keep your eyes peeled and your tits alert. If there is one more savage dog attack in the city within the next month or two, Death Porn is adding a new icon. In the meantime, take care of your damn dog, especially your attack dog. This year's hot trend, in which frail young or middle-aged women walk dogs like Rottweilers and Kavkaz Shepherds by flimsy leashes (or without leashes at all) has us all spooked. Can't you all just carry guns instead?
Mom Stabs Son
One relatively unremarkable incident to take place lately centers around the Alekseyev mental hospital in Moscow, where authorities recently sentenced a hospital regular staffer to two months community service. The crime? Stabbing her own son four times. This story is evidence courts do listen: this 49 year-old defendant was given her lenient sentence after it was determined that her 30 year-old son had never worked and had been mooching off Mom ever since returning from the army.
When Mom refused one night to give her son money for his friends to "catch up", her son whacked her across the face and went in for the follow-up attack, only to be
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| "Hey can you help me? I dropped my contacts!" |
stabbed four times. Mom, who works as a nurse at Alekseyev during the day, immediately called police and administered first aid. Judges let her off easy, expressing the hope that she aim higher next time.
He Wouldn't Share
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And now for one of the more depressing stories to come out of the news this month. We're been waiting for this kind of thing to happen, and it finally did: an accident with a 10-year-old has turned a bunch of them into murder suspects. According to police, police discovered a body of a ten year-old Moscow boy named Nikolai Brodyagin with his head beaten in in the woods in March of this year and went to investigate. At first, they had the usual idea-serial killer, sadist gone wrong...they were willing to take any lead they could find. Then he found out that the boy had been spotted playing in the village of Pekhro-Pokrovskoye not long before his death.
One thing led to another, and finally police were able to determine that the killing had been committed by a thirteen year-old native of the dacha area named Pasha Smirnov. According to police, Smirnov felt jealous of the Moscow boy's bicycle, and went up to him initially to commit a simple robbery. Hitting him on the head with a big stick, he grabbed the bike and was about to leave when suddenly he noticed that his victim wasn't breathing. That sucked! Panicking, he left the bike in the bushes and took off. Not before leaving behind prints and other evidence, however,
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| "Excuse me, can you help me turn on my headlights?" |
Now, here's the tricky part. According to the Balashikha Prosecutor's Office, which is handling the case, Smirnov's age makes it difficult to charge him with anything. "Technically, there hasn't been a crime committed as much as an administrative violation." Well, that's heartening. Apparently, the old Russian criminal code didn't even admit the possibility that 13 year-olds might commit murder. In any case, Smirnov will go to a special reform school, and then be released in the year 2001 without a criminal record or any notation in his passport. Police could not comment on whether he would also pay a 30 ruble fine for failure to care for any dogs he might own.
A Bit of History
Here's a story that smacks of Ivan the Terrible. You know that whole fairy tale about Ivan's son, and how the official cause of his death was that he'd accidentally cut his own throat? Something like that happened in Podolsk last week. The right-hand man of the Podolskaya Prestupnaya Gruppirovka, a 30 year-old who goes by the name of Mefody, was captured by police last week and then shot during interrogation. The robbery suspect had been located in the office of the Podolsk Deputy Criminal Inspector when he was killed. The latter became a suspect when his story, which was that the normally even-headed Mefody had attacked him (even though handcuffed) and that his own gun had gone off in the struggle, didn't hold up under questioning.
Mefody was an odd character. A chief suspect in a number of high-profile mafia murders, he disappeared for a while this year before reappearing. Two years ago, he was detained for murder, but walked when a judge made a suspicious order of release. In any case, he clearly had friends in the police department, to operate in Podolsk for so long undetected. Of course, he isn't so smart now, is he? Police will soon announce whether or not there are to be any arrests this week.
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