the eXile - Other Shite

Issue #03/84, February 29 - March 10, 2000

Are you ready to serve Putin's Russia? Are you being repressed at truly low prices, or are you still paying retail? Do you take care to always be well-dressed when you're pushed out of a helicopter? For the answer to these and other burning questions, check out our handy guide to banana republics-- here, back home, and south of the border:

RUSSIA	BANANA REPUBLICS	BANANA REPUBLIC TM
Enemies of the state disappear without a trace	Enemies of the state disappear without a trace	Sale items vanish instantly from shelves
Ex-superpower colonized by American corporate interests	Agricultural backwaters colonized by American corporate interests	Mom-and-pop surplus clothing business colonized by American corporate interests
Grim catalogue of unsolved political assassinations	Grim catalogue of unsolved political assasinations	Funky hand-drawn catalogue replaced by parent-company Gap with soulless full-color magazine-papered brochure
Poorly-cut gray suits and pot bellies	Cheap-looking military dress uniforms and mirrored sunglasses	Dickless yuppies
West-baiting nationalists who let Americans rob their country blind	Extremist laissez-faire rhetoric from dictators manning state-controlled economies	Jungle safari clothes designed by and for New Yorkers
MAD	NAFTA	GAP
Banana republic with no bananas	Banana Republics with bananas	Pretentious chain clothing store with fruity clerks
Election results always known in advance	Election results always known in advance	The same boring clothes every year

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