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Russia Babylon / December 9, 2008

Russian companies know that sex sells. They also have a ridiculous amount of hot chicks working in them. Putting tyolka and tyolka together, they had a light bulb marketing moment: “Let us not imprison our talent in offices and simply waste it on paper pushing (and the occasional extra-marital blow job). Let us be proud and show them off to the world.” The girls couldn’t be more pleased. In fact, everyone was pleased. And that’s the story of how every Russian company got to have their own “Girls of [Insert Company Name Here]” calendar series.

Today’s Russian Calendar Girl Collection comes from Corbina Telecom, a medium-sized Internet provider. This calender is a bit trashier than the previous two. But hey, who’s complaining. So what if they have a few junkie-looking tyolkas (see Miss January) or a middle-aged woman (see Mrs. July) that looks like she’s up for loading up on vodka and boning random drunks on a bench outside her apartment every now and again? This is a real tits-and-blood company after all. And a rinky-dink one at that. (A thing to note: judging by all the nude skinny tushies sticking out from behind the weird signs, Corbina’s owner seems to be something of an ass aficionado .)

Tyol • ka n [Russ, a chick; a young woman, especially one who is sexually desirable and in heat]

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15 Comments

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  • 1. Exile  |  December 9th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Why aren’t you offering these calenders for sale? I imagine that you could pick them up almost free in Russia and sell them at say three for £10.00

  • 2. slkjfsldkfj  |  December 9th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    You have pretty high standards if January’s “junkie looking.” I’d hit that.

  • 3. John  |  December 9th, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    How the fuck do I emigrate to Russia?

  • 4. oleg  |  December 9th, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Only 3 of these are fuckable. They say British girls are ugly, but how can that be? They have the biggest boobs on the planet(Danish chicks are apparently second), so something is wrong with that opinion. Besides, Russian women are bearable only until they open their mouth (and they do it for all the wrong reasons, I might add). After that, you can’t dump’em fast enough. How do I emigrate to England? Or at least to Denmark. I’m no economist, but this credit crunch must be making fucking Western whores much more affordable.

  • 5. Russians are Scum  |  December 9th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Nothing like a Russian accent on a greedy, pushy, gold-digging twat. It just completes the package so perfectly.

  • 6. oleg  |  December 9th, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    ScumBoy, you should meet Ukrainian or Moldovan whores – accent is the same, but you won’t escape from that black hole. Your last thoughts will be: “Wish I stayed in Moscow”.

  • 7. Cap'n Sticky  |  December 9th, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    I like television.

  • 8. it's true  |  December 9th, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    Oleg – I’ll tell you exactly why they say British girls are ugly (not all of them of course, but a lot of them). They have big tits because they’re fat, they have terrible hair and terrible makeup and clothes – super trashy. In Russia the clothes, hair and makeup can be extreme, but at least its done well – there, it’s a chubby girl out to drink as much as she can while cackling horribly with her friends, covered in randomly applied makeup and hairspray stuffed into a slutty-yet-unflattering dress. You know it’s actually become a health issue in Britain – young girls’ bladders exploding because they drink too much and they’re too stupid/ too stuck up to have a piss in the pub toilet- don’t move to England looking for love mate.

  • 9. Rob  |  December 10th, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Oh ya British chicks! These Russians have nothing on hairy argumentative feminist cows whose only known form of communication involves whining about males until they pass out.

    Of course being an alpha male I am only attracted to what feminists tell me I should be attracted to. Nice tits and ass are not for me!

  • 10. Amos  |  December 10th, 2008 at 6:35 am

    Australian girls are pretty good looking but you have almost no chance of having sex with one if your a foreigner, unless you are very good looking, and I mean tall, chiseled jawed surf life-saver good looking. Otherwise forget it. They don’t give a fuck about your money and don’t give a fuck about where you’re from, so there’s no cash or greencard shortcut for the average-looking beta male to make a positive impression. Basically a terrible place to get laid, but nice beaches.

    There’s plenty of slutty English backpacker chicks around Oz though, especially in surf suburbs like Bondi over the summer.

  • 11. Seryoga  |  December 10th, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    Shit, Corbina was my provider when I was living in Moscow. The technician they sent to trouble shoot my connectivity issues was an ex-zek with missing teeth, who ended up ripping the company off, taking the payment in cash, and not issuing me a receipt. The Company called me a couple of weeks later, asking me ever politely in heavily accented English if ever intend to pay them for the service call. I’m pretty sure the toothless criminal got fired, because the tyolka on the other line sounded pissed after I explained to her what happened. I hope it was Miss June….Alas, I miss Russian blyadki!

  • 12. Jordan Hammond  |  December 11th, 2008 at 3:56 am

    I like russians girls. Especially my work colleagues girlfriend who is russian and keeps touching my inappropriately when he is not looking.

  • 13. Andrew Adley  |  December 11th, 2008 at 4:29 am

    Anyone know if they release a calendar with pictures of the male staff?

  • 14. Америки  |  December 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Whenever I’m feeling down I put my tool to one of those whinging pom sluts you find in every tourist bar. Then I usually get her boyfriend too once when she blabs how hung I am.

  • 15. Y.V. Stalin  |  December 11th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

    иди на хуй! Слава Сталину!


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