Thanks to the slam dunk investigative piece by your humble correspondents, Rick Santelli was forced to cancel his appearance on the Daily Show last night, leading to this massively-blogged segment ripping Santelli and CNBC a gigantic bleeding asshole. If words could be giant foam hands with pointing index fingers, then these words would be jabbing annoyingly into the ears of every Michelle Malkin/Freedomworks/rightwing tool who tried to cover up their half-baked “grassroots tea party” flop. As the stadiums of foam index finger-waggers chant, “You! You! You!” As in “the whole fucking country is laughing at you idiots!” Ah-ha-ha-hahahahahahaha!!!
So, who else wants some? Huh? You? You want a little?
All of America is laughing at “tea party” mascot Rick Santelli and the sloppy Freedomworks-led rightwing machine that tried to push his protest movement. Do you hear that? Huh, Megan McArdle? Watch this video and weep, every time the audience laughs, multiply it by 300 million laughing Americans, and that’s what’s going on: they’re laughing at you! You tried to shill for the super-wealthy, but you’re all a bunch of fuckin’ amateurs.
Still, thanks for the memories. And for the material. You all played your role of evil corporate-preppy goons like perfect foils, as perfectly as Dean Wormer and Niedermayer to our Belushi. And seriously, you know, there’s a place in the order of things for slapstick goons like you–for, without you, how would the rest of us laugh? As Robert Plant wistfully sang, “Does anybody remember laughter?” And he meant it. So to you rightwing goon amateurs, we say this: Just as there is a place on God’s planet for the guinea worm or the hydatid cyst, there is a place for you slapstick goons too. After all, laughter is a beautiful thing. When we’re doing the laughing, that is. Guess it’s not so funny when you’re laughed at. Ah well, sucks for you.
Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.
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