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shot in podyezd |
connected w/ Russian sports |
murder for less than $100 |
really stupid criminal |
explosive device |
cries for help ignored |
perp in body count |
children |
"investigation continuing" |
carved up like a turkey |
cannibalism |
riddled with bullets |
related to victim's job |
Variety, the Spice of...
Russian criminals are beginning to act like long-married couples, staying up nights thinking of still more obscure positions to keep their sex lives interesting. Just when you'd thought every type of contract murder had already taken place here, word filters down that two women from Volgograd were arrested shortly after a 21 year-old by the name of Boris Lyubich was found strangled to death in his courtyard.
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| "I don't think that I'll ever touch a daquiri again..."
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The two women? You got it: Lyubich's mother and grandmother. It turns out that Boris was not exactly a model child, and had a habit of severely and sadistically beating his mother and grandmother. Mom and Grannycakes decided to strike back, but, in the type of plot sidetrack into incompetence that is so common in Russian crime tales, they failed in repeated attempts to kill him themselves. They started by trying to feed him poison mushrooms, then moved on to drain cleaner, and neither worked: little Boris only seemed to get stouter with every month. Finally they hired a couple of local drunks to do the job, paying each 3 million rubles; they offered Boris some vodka, then strangled him with phone cord. Unfortunately for the women, the victim's sadistic habits were so well-known that police shortly caught on to them. Last week in a Volgograd court, they both were sentenced to 3 years in prison. The grandmother, incidentally, is already 71 years old.
Just Testing
Try this on for size. Cops in Balakovo, in the Saratov oblast, arrest a mustachioed middle-aged Dagestani named Ibragim Gadjiyev for murder after tying him to the strangulation death of a 9 year-old girl. Ibragim was a clumsy sort of criminal, raping girls left and right, inclding the daughter of the woman whose apartment he shared and a neighbor, and paying his rent with things like clothing stolen from the stangulation victim's body, etc. It wasn't hard to get him to confess. Once he did, though, he laid a whopper of a story on local UR investigators. He murdered, he said, because he liked to drink blood. The girl he strangled, he first hit over the head with a pipe, and sucked the blood out of the wound while she was unconscious. This wasn't his first murder, he said: in St. Petersburg, he killed a drunk with a lead pipe, drank his blood, and proceeded to kill three more girls. Police believed the murder stories-the information he gave them gibed with actual unsolved murder cases-but they were fuzzy on the motive. They felt this was a serial killer who was trying to get committed rather than executed. To resolve the matter, they decided on a test. They went to a local slaughterhouse and asked for a liter of blood, which they then brought to the prisoner and asked him to drink. He drank slowly and without zeal, then asked what kind of blood it was. Cops told him it was calf blood. "Oh, now I understand," he said. "I can't distinguish all kinds of blood. But I knew with wasn't bull blood, because that's much thicker." The cops were lying: it was pig's blood, which is said to very closely resemble human blood. They were testing his blood-recognition
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| "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
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capabilities, and they also, apparently, wanted to tweak him a little: Ibragim is a Muslim and does not eat pork. Imagine that taking place in America! Lawyers would have a field day. Not here, though. Gadjiyev has been extradited to St. Petersburg, where he will stand trial for multiple homicide.
Why Didn't You Get a Cat?
The genius brigade just keeps marching on through the Moscow criminal courts. Cops in the Perovo region had scarcely finished drawing the chalk lines around the nose of a slaughtered Doberman Pinscher in an apartment on Sergei Lazo Ulitsa when the dog's 51 year-old owner, a recently-released ex-con, woke up in a nearby hospital to find himself charged with double homicide and cruelty to animals. It seems the con, who was released in early August after doing a spell in an Altai prison colony for banditism, had returned home to Moscow to find his wife and 18 year-old stepdaughter living with a Doberman. Two things about this ex-con: he didn't like dogs, and he did like to drink. Bad combination. On the last Friday in August he came home drunk to find his wife's Doberman barking at him and, not knowing the command "Sit!", he immediately carted the dog off to the bedroom and stabbed it to death. For good measure he killed his wife, who tried to intervene on behalf of the non-human: she got three stab wounds to the heart. The stepdaughter got the worst treatment. When she tried to defend her mother, Einstein stabbed her in the neck, then chased her off the balcony; police found her body nine stories below. Rounding off this Nobel performance, the murderer then tried to kill himself via self-evisceration, but managed only a deep stab wound to his stomach, which caused him to lose consciousness and collapse gift-wrapped for the police in his living room. Police as we speak are searching the back of his head for a good spot for an entry wound: the culprit faces trial for capital murder later this year.
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