#20 | October 23 - November 5, 1997  

By Edward Limonov

When I was in my early twenties, the wife of a friend and occasionally my lover, beautiful Natasha (hair was color of honey, red full lips, very white skin) once said to me: "Never go to bed with a coarse woman, Eddie, you are tender and romantic. Promise that you will never fuck with a rough woman!" Then, I was offended by "tender and romantic," because I wanted to be a tough real man, but Natasha understood me better than myself. Following thirty years I rarely slept with a coarse women, and when it happened, they repel me by their cow-like nature, by abundance of butts and tits. And today I cannot sleep with a coarse woman. They are repulsive creatures to me. I am forever charmed by girls with a skinny legs, with a whitish little behinds.

Then in 1992 I left Paris and settled in my old country after almost twenty years of absence. Later I have separated from my last wife and have discovered Russian women again. I found them in much worst situation than they were twenty years ago. I discovered that Russian women have a sick mentality of a harem girl, sick mentality of a kept woman. If Western women are crazies about their newly found independence and sick with their independence, Russian women are crazies with their dependence on man. They are full of hate towards the man, their master, provider and lover. They need a man badly, much more than Western women, and that is precisely why they hate him. I have discovered that hate of a man is widespread malady amongst Russian females, women and girls alike, hell for me!

No doubt, Russian women are very good in bed, emotionally very rich, although Jewish women can match or even beat them in love-making. But no woman on earth is as amoral and bitchy as Russians are. The word "moral" is not known to them. Psychologically they never ever left that tender age under six years, when child behavior is perfectly egotistical, and they don't count the interests of others. "I don't want to do it, so I will not do it," or, "I want to do it, so I will do it," no matter what the consequences for my partner/lover-these are patterns of behavior of Russian woman. Russian females are perfect for one night stand, for a short love affair, but don't count on them for a stable love. Unpleasant truth about them that all Russian females, coarse women and tender girls alike, are amoral. "I want" or "I don't want"-these are only categories they operate with. They live under tyranny of desire themselves and they force you to accept it also. They don't know how to deal with a man out of bed, because themselves they have only one dimension, that of emotional world of desire. They are tragically short of moral, cultural, intellectual or historical dimensions. They are crippled to life. Sure, most of them are heading to the banal tragedy in their lives. Towards the age of 35 their looks are gone, they drink too much, they overweight as they eat too much, they are not attractive any more to the man, so they excluded even from their only one emotional world of desire. They are technically dead.

According to the doctors' sexologists average sexual desire is lasting up to two years. I don't believe it, because I have made love to my wife singer Natasha Medvedeva during 12 years with a rising intense pleasure. But I am untypical, nonordinary crazy artist with an extraordinary imagination. And Natasha was nymphomaniac. Average Russian woman will love you up to two years, at best. Then, she will fool around. Or she will start to fool around from the very first week, but will keep relationships for her emotions ask for promiscuity. Needless to blame her, she is formed like that.

For now, bearing fresh wounds from my latest love affair with a Russian girl, I dream about an American girl. I am sick and tired of Russian women and girls dark souls, of their treacherous natures. I want to have a reliable, comfortable lover, but also partner, great friend and fellow combatant on the front-line of life. No, I didn't change my preference for girls over women, as ever I dislike big butts and tits, but I want non-Russian female. Of course, only insane creature would tie its destiny with a chairman of a radical National-Bolshevik's Party, but I want that insane creature to be an American girl.

From my experience of life in the United States, I know that American girls are stable, they are better, more generous, more open, more honest, less incline to cheat on you, they are better friends and partners. I am sick to function only as a lover and nothing else, only fucking human machine. Finally I realize that I wanna Julie, my Julie again. Or rather young version of Julie, my American girlfriend, I have had love affair with her in 1977-78 in New York. Oldest daughter of FBI agent from Virginia, from a family with seven kids. Julie was 22 when we met. I was a foreigner twelve years older than she, I barely spoke English, that simple tall, attractive girl loved me for God knows what qualities. O, Julie, sorry that I didn't appreciate then your love, now I understand that courageous, bold, street-wise you were a treasure. Real frontier girl from a cowboy's movies. I wanna Julie, goodbye Natashas.