the eXile - The Limonov X-Files

#33 | March 19 - 26, 1998

In This Issue

By Edward Limonov

Russian journalist is a creature of about 25. He or she journalist. But in both cases it is very unpleasant creature. It is not necessary ugly-looking human being, but a matter of fact is that it always give you a feeling of unpleasantness. Sarcastic smile of a young scoundrel, of hired mercenary, paid for dirty tricks constantly stays on his lips. Illiterate, but arrogant, journalist is as dangerous as any dirty police investigator. You cannot leave him alone in room of your apartment or at your office, as you will risk to surprise him in train to look under your bed or into your driver. Journalist can steal your papers, your photos or your money.

If it is he journalist, he wears blue jeans, polo shirt (made in Taiwan "Lacoste") and sport jacket of undefinite greasy color. If it is she journalist, she wears blue jeans, polo shirt (made in Taiwan "Lacoste" of course) and sport jacket of undefinite greasy color. Journalists are usually tall and bony as jackals, obviously for a purpose to find and to get a carrion in a shortest possible time.

"Aggressive" journalist may attack you immediately after crossing threshold of your office (apartment). Ugly, he or she journalist will seat down, will put on his (her) recorder, and would say, "So, you want to flood Russia with blood, yes?" Absolutely in vain will you defend yourself, arguing that you are innocent of such presumption, that it is President Yeltsin who twice have flooded Russia with blood: in October of 1993, and during Chechen war... You are condemned to see in his (or her) paper, in after-tomorrow issue, headline "Limonov wants to flood Russia with blood."

Another type of journalist, "friendly" one, will ask you with a sympathy about your difficult life of a radical politician, about your wives and old parents living in Kharkov, Ukraine... But the day after tomorrow you will buy his newspaper only to read: "Limonov wants to flood Russia with blood, although he deny that." Only the difference between an "aggressive" journalist and "friendly" one is that additional phrase: "although he deny that."

Weathered radical politician, I never will invite journalist to my apartment. Only to the office. However, an ideal place to meet with a journalist is absolutely naked room with a naked table and two chairs. One should be afraid of photos and pictures on the walls. Attention of beginners in politics: remove all the photos of your walls! If you have photos of Lenin, Stalin, or any of Soviet government ministers of the past, you are a dead man, even if journalist has no camera with him. The worst is picture of Dzerzhinsky on the wall-let it be small picture 5 by 6 centimeters-your political reputation is ruined. But be aware that even a picture of a young girl in the field, clutching flowers in her fist, may be fatal to you. It is easily transformed into deadly weapon. Journalist, if he doesn't like you (in my case they always doesn't like me), will write something as: "On the wall of Mr. Limonov's revolutionary office hangs a picture of underage girl, but as we know well, Mr. Limonov has no daughter..." So you should carefully remove everything from your office before he or she journalist is coming.

Also it is recommendable to make a careful revision of your clothes. Radical politician should wear no leather, leather is fatal to him. Mr. Yavlinksy could appear in public clad in S&M gear, he will be saluted, but not you. Moralizing example: Somewhere in 1993 I have bought myself a jacket, made of black "bolognia" tissue, only because it had many pockets. It was comfortable for a travel, as well as for demonstrations. I have weared it for two years only, but it still excites imagination of Russian media. Over the years my poor "bolognia" jacket been glorified as "commissar's leather coat," "fascist vest," "Gestapist jacket," etc. And it wasn't even made of leather. Just recently on March 4th, in "Novaya Izvestia," some girl called Marina Rozanova have written: "Edward Limonov, despite his age, is condemned to appear amongst teenagers clad in leather rock 'n roll style jacket, supplied with many 'zippers.'" Hey, Marina, did you ever see me? Come to see, I have no such jacket, idiot!

One more dangerous issue is wearing emblems and insignias. For a year now I am wearing insignia of 201st Russian Motorized Division, located in Tadjikastan as peacekeeping force. I was decorated of it in Dushanbe, by a chief of stuff of 201st division Colonel Kruikov. Jackals of media noticed it well, but named it according to their tastes: "Serb Chetnik's emblem," "Fascist eagle," "Limonov's party eagle." Ask, just ask Limonov what is it? No way, they adore to diabolize radicals. Yavlinsky, wearing swastika, will be described as wearing Harvard's badge. Limonov, wearing Harvard's badge, will be condemned as wearing swastika.

To summon all already said: journalists are coming to Limonov with a ready made image of Limonov. Everything around and on me will serve them to illustrate that ready-made image.