#36 | April 9 - 22, 1998  

By Edward Limonov

December 1990. Weekly L'Idiot International published my article "Masochism as a State Policy in Gorbachev's Russia." That text was refused by "London Times," "International Herald Tribune," "Nation," "New Yorker," as well as "L'Humanite"-French Communist Party newspaper.

August 19, 1991. In early morning, interviewed live by French Television channel "Antenne-2." I have greeted "GKChP" [the coup to overthrow Gorbachev-ed.] as necessary measure to stop disintegration of Soviet Union. Big chunk of my reputation was gone.

November 1991. I went to a Serbo-Croat war at Slavonia in Vukovar. Shocked and disgusted by tortured corpses of Serb kids and elders, retrieved elsewhere amongst the ruins of just-liberated territory by Serbs town of Vukovar. I took Serbian side in conflict. Coming back to Paris I wrote about that dirty war in Parisian "Choc du mois," "Revolution," "L'Outre Journal," at Moscow's "Sovietskaya Rossiya," at Belgrade's "Borba." As television of France, of Moscow, and even that of Belgrade taught simple folks that Serbs are villains, large masses of those countries started to hate me, overnight.

Summer 1992. I was invited by Mr. Zhirinovsky to become a member of his shadow government. I was named Director of Al-Russian Committee of Investigations. Terrible blow to leftovers of my reputation.

Autumn of 1992. War in Bosnia. At Pale-capital of Serbian Republic of Bosnia, in military cafeteria, I was approached by a BBC television film producer Mr. Pavlikovsky. Pavlikovsky suggested me to interview Mr. Radovan Karadjic, leader of Bosnian Serbs, for his movie. During three days BBC crew have filmed President of Serbian Republic of Bosnia and me talking, visiting positions of Serbian army. Dishonest, BBC boys also in secret have filmed me firing submachine gun near Sarajevo. In 199-1995 that very film was showed in England, in the United States, by Franco-German channel "Arte," etc. I got a reputation of a bloody killer all over the Western world.

1992-93. Participation in wars at Transdniestr, in Abkhazia and Kninskaya Kraina (in Croatia) made me a dangerous scoundrel's image in Western world and in Russia.

Summer/Autumn 1993. In Paris, "Canard Enchaine," "Le Monde," "Liberation," "Le Figaro," etc., virtually all French press have attacked "National-Bolsheviks conspiracy at weekly L'Idiot International." One of a few most dangerous figures of conspiracy is Edward Limonov, member of editorial board from the very start of L'Idiot.

October 1993. Participation in White House uprising. After the crash of uprising I have saved myself, leaving Moscow by train, disguised. For three weeks I lived in hiding at Tverskaya Oblast.

In the very end of 1993 I found myself an object of public hate in France as in Russia (although in Russia I was also admired by millions of people). I was hated even by some Serbs, namely democratical Serbian intelligentsia.

Been hated by a large television audiences of a whole Western and Russian world feels exciting. It is a big challenge. Mentally I felt myself as Superman, attacked by the hordes of zombied Lilliputians. But literary critics in France refused to write about books of politically non-correct writer. Or they, bastards, wrote, but in hateful manner. Michel Polak, very known personality of a French literary world wrote of my book "Big Western Hospice," "Limonov is a thinker for a skin-heads." Consequently, the publication of my books "Big Western Hospice," "The Death of Modern Heroes" (1993), "The Murdered Sentry" (1995) were unknown to public, so they didn't sell well. One after one my publishers turned their backs to me. Finally, even my Parisian literary agent and longtime friend Mary Kling have stopped work with me.

Theoretically I always knew that there is "no liberty or the enemies of liberty." But applied to my own person it proved to be painful.

So, no bread for a lover of Serbs. No bread for a politically non-correct writer. No bread for an enemy of Gorbachev. No bread for a Yeltsin's adversary. No bread for those who think differently. Luckily Russia is still non-monolithic society, so I can gain my bread here. For now.

Recently some friend send my from Paris one curious publication: "Negationnistes." Page 162, I found such lines about Limonov: "English television channel have filmed him, firing at Sarajevo. Those images were shown on Arte and were submitted to the file of the prosecutor of International Tribunal at Hague for War Crimes." Some people are unsatisfied with me having lost my bread, they dream about seeing in the Hague's cage.