the eXile - Other Shite

Issue #23/104, Nov 23 - Dec 7, 2000

Other Shite

EXILE SPORTS NOTES

Lenin’s Picks

[Eds. note: The founder of the modern communist state has had a rough year at the betting booth. In fact, if our coach Lenin doesn’t shape up by week 15, we may have a quarterback controversy on our hands. Chairman Mao has been asked to put down his clipboard and warm up on the sidelines. In any case, here are Coach Red’s picks for this week’s televised games at Metellitsa Sportland:]

Sunday November 26
9:00 p.m. Sportland time
Buffalo Bills (+4) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The course of socialist revolution does not change to accommodate a population which is tricked into welcoming with open arms the shallow immediate benefits of capitalist counterrevolution. Rob Johnson is socialism’s quarterback and he must remain socialism’s quarterback so long as he is able to work.
PICK: Bills

Monday, November 27
12:15 a.m. Sportland time
Tennessee Titans (-3.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars
The decision to change the name to the “Titans” was a mistake borne of the traditional ignorance of the masses who have been trained to hate themselves and think themselves incapable of achieving great things. There is oil in Tennessee; when our population is properly educated in the techniques of bourgeois exploitation, we will find it, and we will be true proletarian “Oilers” once again.
PICK: Jaguars

Monday, November 27
4:30 a.m. Sportland time
New York Giants (-6) at Arizona Cardinals
The Great Dane is a nationalist moniker. Animals, like man, have no natural nationality. We prefer the term “Dog”.
PICK: Cardinals

Tuesday, November 28
5:00 a.m. Sportland time
Carolina Panthers (E) at Green Bay Packers
The imminent collapse of Brett Favre’s arm is evident. The bourgeois propaganda machine denies this with all the fervor it can muster, but all the same it is understood by all, it is inevitable. Into his place will step a new breed of quarterback, a quarterback for the ages.
PICK: Panthers

Links