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Class War For Idiots / August 10, 2009

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St. Gladney de St. Louis clutches a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag and suffers quietly…

Those Tea Party thugs are a lot like Colonel Klink’s Nazis: they’d be funny in a cheap sitcom way if they weren’t causing the rest of us so much real-world harm. Latest example: one of the anti-Obamacare townhall meeting crashers, Kenneth Gladney, claims that liberal meanies beat him up just for expressing his First Amendment rights, and these same liberal meanies gave the 38-year-old martyr a boo-boo on his knee (not so “Gladney” after all, are we? [cue laugh-track]). But here’s the real punchline: the Tea Party martyr doesn’t have health insurance to cover his injuries–and that means no coverage for injuries sustained while fighting against a health care plan that would offer unemployed zeroes like him medical insurance. So naturally, Gladney is begging for handouts donations to help treat his boo-boo, and he’s teamed up with a local ambulance-chaser to see how much he can soak the liberals for, according to AP:

ST. LOUIS | Protesters are demanding justice for a man who was injured during fighting that erupted last week when audience members at a St. Louis-area aging forum began yelling about health care reform.

Backers of Kenneth Gladney, 38, of St. Louis, gathered Saturday at the offices of the Service Employees International Union for an event organized by the pro-limited government Tea Party coalition.

Gladney’s attorney, David Brown, received cheers from the crowd of about 200 people when he read a statement written by his client.

“A few nights ago there was an assault on my liberty, and on yours, too.” Brown read. “This should never happen in this country.”

Brown told the crowd that Gladney is accepting donations toward his medical expenses. Gladney told reporters he was laid off recently and has no health insurance.

Of course the Big White Elephant in this Tea Party martyr’s schtick isn’t just the fake whiplash injury and the hilarious Ron Kovacs wheelchair act, but the fact that…well Gladney is…you know, not of the Tea Party pigment. That’s not to say “more power to you.” The man is after all out of a job, the economy’s tough, and hey, you gotta hustle where the hustlin’s good, folks.

Like Shias with their martyrs, the Tea Baggers are now trying to use Gladney’s bad knee to drum up sympathy and support (and maybe a nice out-of-court settlement):

Gladney sat in a wheelchair, his knee bandaged, holding a flag that read: “Don’t Tread on Me.” Others who gathered at the union offices held signs with a slightly different version of the message: “Don’t Tread on Kenny.”

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So here’s how it works: rich corporate backers, led by billionaire health care CEOs, want to kill health care reform because it might fuck up their chances of buying a second Aspen mansion or a third Gulfstream. So they rally a bunch of out-of-work, uninsured pissed-off losers, many of whom are willing to lay their lives on the line for the super-rich in order to ensure they stay rich while the shock-troops remain uninsured and down in the bottom. Now the Tea Bag suckers finally produced the martyr they were aiming for–an African-American with a scraped knee–and they’re already milking it with hilarious results:

Demand Justice! Denounce Violence! Saturday

at SEIU Office

August 7, 2009

DATE:  Saturday, August 8, 2009 (tomorrow)

TIME:  Noon

LOCATION:  SEIU Headquarters, 5585 Pershing Ave., Suite 130, St. Louis, MO 63112

The St. Louis Tea Party will hold a press conference and peaceable protest at SEIU Headquarters
5585 Pershing Ave., Suite 130, St. Louis, MO 63112 at Noon Saturday, August 8, 2009.

View Larger Map
The protest is to demand justice for Kenneth Gladney, an African-American conservative who was brutally beaten by 4 individuals, at least 2 of whom were identified as SEIU representatives. The beatings included racial slurs and required hospitalization of Mr. Gladney.

As videos show, the attack was unprovoked and no one retaliated against the union thugs.

This attack followed hours of taunts and verbal assaults by SEIU and ACORN members upon citizens gathered to express their views under the First Amendment. We believe this brutal beating is part of an organized plan to suppress dissent to the Administration’s planned seizure of the medical industry in the United States.

Anyone who believes in non-violent protest, in the rule of law, in the right of black men and women to express conservative political views, in the right to peaceably assemble, to speak freely, and to petition Congress for a redress of grievances is invited to attend.

The Tea Party specifically requests the NAACP and the ACLU to come out in support of Kenneth Gladney’s rights which were trampled by these hooligans. We call on Representative Russ Carnahan to denounce the beating. We call on President Obama to denounce the beatings. We call on St. Louis County to prosecute the assailants to fullest extent of the law.

But like the bad sitcom bozos they are, they screwed up even this simple task by hiring a martyr without health insurance. Making Gladney the Tea Party equivalent of Detective Nordberg in Naked Gun, crashing down the stairwell of shame to provide cheap laughs for us.

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Det. Nordberg to Kenneth Gladney: “You too?”

Gladney is a pastiche of all these images: Ray Kovacs by way of Det. Nordberg multiplied by Cancer Boy cubed:

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Stay tuned for more zany antics… and more misery and in-fighting among America’s 90-percent have-nots.

Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.

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13 Comments

Add your own

  • 1. Sin Fronteras  |  August 10th, 2009 at 8:33 am

    I feel like this should link to someplace that is not the eXiledonline.

  • 2. az  |  August 10th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    So will this article be longer than a sentence sometime… or what?

  • 3. buzz  |  August 10th, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    jee whiz ! so what’s the fuss when the choice is between big corporat-state ‘medicine’ or big state-corporat ‘medicine’ ?

    what’s the freakin’ difference ? i mean who the fuc wants ‘allopathic’ medicine in the first place ?

    i thought everybody knew that risky street drugs are a hell of a lot safer than those pills dished out by big pharma’s lackey doktors? if you don’t believe me, go check the statistics and do the math…

  • 4. withnail  |  August 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    The latest idiocy from the right says Obamacare would kill people like Stephen Hawking. They actually said this. Even though Hawking has lived his whole life in the UK with universal health care. These people are fucking morons. (I don’t have anything witty to say. They’re fucking morons.)

  • 5. foog  |  August 11th, 2009 at 1:35 am

    You should check out the hilarious You Tube video of Gladney’s “beating”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5Q3p6jClQM

    It shows some other black guy on his back (SEIU member, healthcare supporter) – looking like he just his ass kicked, and Gladney gets shoved aside while other people go to this guy’s aid. Then Gladney pops up, mouths off, and flags down the cops when they show up moments later.

    …that’s it. He falls down. He pops up. He mouths off. Then he gets his lawyer to drive him to his friend the “doctor” for treatment of his life-threatening injuries.

  • 6. jindi  |  August 11th, 2009 at 2:53 am

    @buzz

    Good question. Given that corporations are creatures of the state there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of difference. You could say that with a gov’t program we won’t be denied care for being fat, but then you unleash the fat police. And I’ll bet you dollars to donuts those same people who oppose unicare now will be pushing for legislation to curb unhealthy lifestyles cause after-all you don’t have a right to raise our taxes with your eating habits.

  • 7. Leper  |  August 11th, 2009 at 3:11 am

    The saddest thing about this guy is after being used by those fighting against the healthcare scheme, he’s found himself screwed without coverage and he still thinks fighting against coverage is a good idea. Really, he must be an idiot, because if he really felt strongly about paying for his own medical bills he wouldn’t be out for lawsuit money and donations.

  • 8. Tyrone Slothrop  |  August 11th, 2009 at 3:37 am

    This kind of ass-backward idiocy is why I love Fox News, it is one of the only unadulterated conduits of pure American ignorance that one has in Australia, where our healthcare is universal and free.

    You fucks don’t know what you’re missing out on and the ones that do are being held hostage by even stupider, more ignorant fucks, all of whom are collectively made impotent by market forces and influences too vast and familiar to surmount.

    I shall smoke cannabis and then laugh at your expense and then see a doctor… just to gloat.

  • 9. Weber  |  August 11th, 2009 at 5:48 am

    Update at Think Progress: Gladney is insured

    “The Washington Independent contacted Brown, who said his client Gladney is not uninsured after all. “He’s just unemployed,” says Brown, and “has insurance through his wife.””

    http://thinkprogress.org/2009/08/10/gladney-uninsured/

  • 10. DocAmazing  |  August 11th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    And yet, Tawana Brawler is still hitting up the rubes for donations, and is up to a grand so far. Paging PT Barnum…

  • 11. Nestor  |  August 11th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Hilarious.

  • 12. RedBastardGod  |  August 13th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    I can’t wait for the tea bagging fat fucks to start dying off. Then we can have a real revolution.

  • 13. jajagenau  |  August 16th, 2009 at 9:53 am

    His lawyer says that he’s an independent and on neither side. He was just there to sell merchandise to the teabaggers.


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