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The War Nerd

Banquo’s Ghosts

Summer Reading: Banquo’s Ghosts, by Richard Lowry and Keith Korman, Vanguard Press (2009), 352 pages.

You have to feel a little sorry for the two neocons who co-wrote Banquo’s Ghosts. The idea seems simple enough: a Tom Clancy-style thriller about a plot to kill an Iranian physicist before he can cook up a nuke for the mullahs. The problem is, where do you get your hero these days? Back in the day, when Clancy was keeping Reagan awake way past 9 pm with Hunt for Red October, it was easy to make US agents like Jack Ryan look good; after all, they were going up against the dregs of the poor old USSR. (more…)

Posted on: June 26th, 2009 | Comments (21)

War Nerd: Iran’s Cedar Show, A.K.A. Don’t Get Excited, the Protestors Are Just Letting Off Some Steam

It took me a while to figure out why everybody was nagging me to do a column on the Iranian elections. Everybody seemed to think it was all mysterious and world-shaking. Finally I realized, you’re all het up because every …

Posted on: June 18th, 2009 | Comments (65)

When Pigs Fly–and Scold: Brits Lecturing Sri Lanka!

Kandy Man with long name who fought the Brits.

Key fact: in Sri Lanka heroes were allowed to get fat, another reason to like the place.

You see some pretty sick stuff when you do my job, …

Posted on: May 22nd, 2009 | Comments (118)

Sri Lanka War Nerd Update: Prabhy Dies Yellow

Cheech Marin moonlighting as the leader of the Tamil Tigers?

I have to say “Thank you, God of War,” because we just saw a decisive victory in a war, for once. I never thought I’d live to see the …

Posted on: May 20th, 2009 | Comments (33)

War Nerd: The Tamil Tigers Shoulda Listened to Yo’ Mao-Mao

Velupillai Prabhakaran: LTTE’s Guerrilla Generalissimo

One thing you have to give the doomed Tamil rebels in Sri Lanka credit for: their supporters sitting in comfortable first-world cities have no shame when it comes to begging for help. Militarily the …

Posted on: May 11th, 2009 | Comments (49)

The War Nerd: This Is How the Carriers Will Die (Updated Version)

(Editor’s Note: Since this article was published yesterday for subscribers, Mr. Brecher has published a big follow-up which we post below after this article.)

I’ve been saying for a long time that aircraft carriers are just history’s …

Posted on: April 1st, 2009 | Comments (187)

War Nerd: Apocalypse Never

Sorry about the long break. I had to deal with my real job, even picked up some extra hours. Once I would have bitched non-stop about that, but I’ve noticed that everybody’s gotten real flexible about their schedules, now that …

Posted on: March 10th, 2009 | Comments (82)

War Nerd Roundup: Mo’ Money for Mog, Bummer of A Gaza

I come back from sick leave and there’s a whole pile of wars in my “in” box, like one of those old office cartoons. Still got to write up the dustup in Gaza, and then there’s the so-called final victory …

Posted on: February 5th, 2009 | Comments (54)

War Nerd: Abba, Civil War Songs—Anything But Gaza

I’ll talk about Gaza tomorrow, but I’ve got the day off and it’s not my idea of a good time. For now I’ll just say it turned out exactly like I said it would, but blecch, it’s not my idea of a …

Posted on: January 19th, 2009 | Comments (48)

War Nerd: Rules in the Era of Squeamishness

When you look at the fighting in Gaza, or any of the other small, chronic wars we get these days, you notice that traditional war buffs, the ones who like to talk about WW II, don’t have much to say. If they …

Posted on: January 12th, 2009 | Comments (80)

War Nerd’s Interview Tips for General Nkunda

I just found the perfect job for myself: media consultant for General Laurent Nkunda. Now there’s a job with perks. And General, you need me. I know you need me because I just saw an interview with you in the …

Posted on: January 9th, 2009 | Comments (38)

The War Nerd: Hamas Ain’t No Hezbollah

What’s going on in Gaza now is pretty easy to understand if you think a little bit about the way military trends have been going in the past century-but you also have to be willing to take a …

Posted on: January 6th, 2009 | Comments (50)

War Nerd MC’s First Man O’ War O’wardz

Well ain’t that nice: Bono got another award. That’s what will help our world be a better and nicer place, Bono getting another award. What makes this one even more sickening than the rest is the name of the award: …

Posted on: December 18th, 2008 | Comments (25)

Minnesota to Somalia: The Kinko’s Crusade

We’re in trouble now, people. The Somalis of Minneapolis are joining the jihad. That’s according to a story that came out this weekend claiming that young Somali-Americans are flocking to dear old Somalia to join the jihad.

Posted on: December 15th, 2008 | Comments (24)

Greece Gripped with Riots? What Riots?

Greece was supposedly “gripped” with big scary riots this week. I love that TV talk, “gripped.” Was it a firm, manly grip? I don’t think so, actually. People throw words like “riot” around pretty easily, and these were …

Posted on: December 11th, 2008 | Comments (52)