MONTERREY, MEXICO — Kidnapping and Mexico, they go together like beans and rice. There has always been a kidnapping industry in Mexico. It’s not for nothing that we have become the kidnapping capital of the world. Yep, that’s a true,…

This hussie, named Karina Barbie, is hugely popular in Russia, a kind of low provincial Carmen Elektra. She’s originally from the central Kazakh town of Karaganda, which is a euphemism in Russian for “backwater.” Buck-toothed and head slightly askew, it’s…

Liam Neeson tries to be reasonable. Genre films are beginning to creep back into theaters after the big parade of Oscar-contenders—praise be to God—and one of them, a little actioner called Taken, is now tops at the box-office and deserves…

It was 11:00 am on Saturday morning when I woke up and jumped out of bed in panic. I realized that the night before, I had parked my car in a 2-hour parking zone around the corner from my house….

Like all healthy folks, I hate cops. The only thing worse than cops are Russian cops. And the only thing worse than Russian cops are the OMON–the Interior Ministry’s paramilitary goons famous for brutalizing anyone who dares to oppose the…

You know how even Bush haters will admit that his one undisputed good deed was getting all that AIDS prevention funding to Africa? But, boy, do they have it all wrong. More than anything, Bush’s efforts show how little anyone…

If you’ve ever been in Russia, you’ve no doubt seen the token dead-drunk man, barely stumbling home from work in the middle of winter. You probably thought to yourself: What happens if that guy falls and passes out? Well, here’s…

You might’ve heard that a bunch of dudes are bidding on the chance to deflower a 22-year-old chick from San Diego. This girl or woman or woperdaughter, or whatever you want to call her, put her virginity up for auction…

Pancho Montana is an eXiled Special Mexican War on Drugs Correspondent. As a native of Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, located in northern Mexico, Mr. Montana lives in Gulf Cartel territory. That means the streets belong to the Zetas, a paramilitary organization…

This year, Sundance got shoved back toward its mid-‘80s roots as a small nowheresville festival in an ugly ski town showcasing bad independent films nobody wants to buy or see.

You might wonder why I’m covering Cabela’s Trophy Bucks for the Nintendo Wii, an unheralded game that came out last June. Well, I’ll tell you. I was recently laid off, so I took a trip to the local Blockbuster to…

Today’s Topic: In semi-praise of Down by the River. Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: As we have ruled earlier, there are few good books. Down by the River by Charles Bowden, a meandering and disorganized collection of facts, soundbites and…

If you’ve lived in Russia, you know that just before anyone big gets charged with corruption or other high crimes, they always have a way of suffering conveniently-timed heart attacks and winding up in the hospital before the heat arrives…

Today’s calendar girl collection, newly minted for 2009, comes courtesy of Kerch Yard, a Ukrainian shipyard in the Eastern Crimean town of Kerch. According to our sources, “kerch” comes from an Old East Slavic word for “throat,” and the town’s…

I’ll talk about Gaza tomorrow, but I’ve got the day off and it’s not my idea of a good time. For now I’ll just say it turned out exactly like I said it would, but blecch, it’s not my idea…

Maureen Dowd: queen of snark? The burning issue in David Denby’s new book, Snark: It’s Mean, It’s Personal, and It’s Ruining Our Conversation, is that these days we’re all too snarky, and it’s imperiling Western Civilization. First, of course, he…

Has anyone noticed the ugly reality captured in the so-called “Miracle on the Hudson”? One of the first photos shows that first class passengers were offered first-class rafts to ensure that they’d survive in comfort, while the economy class passengers…

The real mystery of our age is this: why do all the media warmongers still have jobs, after the way they goaded us into the epic disaster we’ve found ourselves in? Back in 2001, when a panicked America foolishly handed…

As per our promise, we just posted four more eXile issues from way back when. Check ‘em out below or go to the eXile Classics pages for a up-to-date listing. We’ll be updating it weekly. *** Issue #4, April 1,…

What is a zombie piñata? It’s when a zombie on a rooftop fires its tongue down at a victim, picks her up and and dangles her above the undead horde, which take turns clawing little pieces of meat candy out…

When you look at the fighting in Gaza, or any of the other small, chronic wars we get these days, you notice that traditional war buffs, the ones who like to talk about WW II, don’t have much to say….

I just found the perfect job for myself: media consultant for General Laurent Nkunda. Now there’s a job with perks. And General, you need me. I know you need me because I just saw an interview with you in the…

An Old Wacko Makes Us Proud to Be American We don’t know what America’s poets are doing today, but we know what they ought to be doing: composing songs in honor of Robert Sylvester, the aged gunman who robbed a…

The lights are going out on Broadway as show after show closes: Hairspray, Young Frankenstein, and Boeing-Boeing got zapped right around the new year, and somewhere in late 2008 Rent, Cry-baby, and Xanadu also flamed out. The relief is stupendous….

Hi, I wrote you a letter years ago and i was astonished to find (when doing an ego search) my name on the net. I hate finding my name on the net, I don’t have a net presence! Can you…