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The War Nerd / April 30, 2011
By Gary Brecher

You’re gonna have to give me the weekend off. I moved yesterday. To a new town, new job. Trusted Google Maps to get me there. Don’t ever do that. That’s what I think must have happened to that famous lost army: They used an early version of Google Maps.

I got there all right, but 45 minutes late. Great way to be introduced to your new co-workers. I had to change in the car, a great way to remind yourself of your waistline. I made the horn go off at the worst possible moment, reaching for the shiny new pair of shoes with the pants not as up as I thought. Parking Lot M hasn’t seen that much fun in a long time.

Then they took me around the office. Helpful. Seems my coat collar was up in back. Fixed that.

I couldn’t stop sweating. That’s what happens when a fat man runs through an office complex looking for his new building.

Nobody else was sweating. They looked like they could have leaned back and had a nap, they were so relaxed. But I kept wiping the sweat off my forehead, fixing my pants, and trying to use all the cheerful/team player lines I’d rehearsed on the 87-mile detour Google took me on.

They haven’t said I’m fired yet, so maybe the impression will wear off. Gonna come to work early, lose weight, all the usual lies.

But anyway, the upshot is I can’t blog today. I’ve done my best, 40 days and 40 nights, but you have to give me the weekend off. For the next two days I’m not going to be able to hear much except the yuppies laughing when my belly made the horn go off.

Would you like to know more? Gary Brecher is the author of the War Nerd. Send your comments to gary dot brecher at gmail dot com. Read Gary Brecher’s first ever War Nerd column by clicking here. The rest of his stuff is here.

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Add your own

  • 1. Sheridan  |  April 30th, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Take a break, you’ve earned it!

    Just don’t go awol for months and months again.

  • 2. paddy  |  April 30th, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Lets hope you score a few paycheques bud. Welcome to employment yet again.

  • 3. Dimitri Ratz  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Don’t worry about it. It’s not like your working for a modeling agency?

  • 4. Chris Connolly  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    I’m hoping you’ll release a new book, but this one has to be complete, and in one of those big, meaty hard covers. Please include “Cleanse the World” too!

  • 5. Peter  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    It’s cool. In fact, I’m going to take forty dollars out of my own fat-man-shitty-office-job paycheck and donate it to the Exile. A dollar per article is a bargain, but alas, I’m a data entry temp!

  • 6. required  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Magnificent run!
    Nevertheless, sure is Brecher in here …

  • 7. DrunktankDan  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Take a load off man. . .head to the shooting range or something then relax with a bourbon N’ glory afterwards. Thanks for the awesome run!

  • 8. DrunktankDan  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Also, someone said there is a donate button somewhere? I think anybody that has read Gary’s column daily for the last monthplus (like myself) should chip in what we can for all the fun reading. . . Where the hell do I donate?

  • 9. Belgian  |  April 30th, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Get installed at your own tempo mate, we’re with you. Just don’t bail on us. We rely on you for our daily fix!

  • 10. Greetings from Catalonia  |  April 30th, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Take is easy, WN. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the last month. I bought your book and would buy anything else you publish.
    Greetings from Catalonia.

  • 11. Pat Kittle  |  April 30th, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Hey Gary,

    Some manic depressives, so we hear, have manic phases of of hyper-creativity.

    Does that explain it? I dunno.

    Anyway, you likely have Pentagon-types quietly getting clues from your stuff. And they probably are somewhat above your pay-scale. And they’re probably not big on attribution.

    It’s not fair, huh? Just like war.

    BTW, do your new co-workers know about your your alter-ego? I mean, it’s not like you have personalized “WARNERD” plates, right?

  • 12. Pearl Fiddler Queen  |  April 30th, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    This is my first comment. Cheers.

    Take a break. Settle down. Return. Repeat.

    We value your (in)sanity!

  • 13. bud  |  April 30th, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Thanks for keeping on the last 40 days. It has made my online life so much richer. I’m learning a lot from you.

  • 14. hahaohwow  |  April 30th, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    make sure you don’t have any shitty articles on your next run. many were good, but some were bad.

  • 15. CAW  |  April 30th, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    I can’t accept this. I won’t accept this. Breach of contract. Contempt of court. High treason. Deliver as promised!

  • 16. elbasto  |  April 30th, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Gary, I remember you recently asked about French AT ordinance used in Libya.

    Here is an abstract of what a French spokesman told regarding that matter:

    Hope it helps.

    Regards from the Southern Hemisphere

  • 17. elbasto  |  April 30th, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    Also, good luck with your new life! =)

    Relax and make the best out of it, you’ll have plenty of time to worry about non-critical issues once you’ve settled.


  • 18. captain america  |  April 30th, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    sorry to hear about the tough first day at work. hopefully you’ll score a job where you can wear jeans and t-shirts one of these days. take a break, destress, you deserve it.

  • 19. furioso  |  April 30th, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    great ruin-im surprised you could do it.3 a week seems more realistic (Monday/Wed/Fri) and I agree put a little paypal button on your pages so we can pay for your quality work

  • 20. Frank  |  April 30th, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Hey WN!
    Hope all works out well for you!
    Just wanted to drop a note of thanks, and make you realise your 40 days and 40 nights of sweating hasnt been unappreciated; i just hope they will appreciate your sweat in work as much as we do here!

  • 21. Evilcor  |  April 30th, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    Have you considered rolling stolen Porsches for the AKSH? Might pay better, and the first time you catch someone sniggering behind your back you should have the contacts to knock the smirk right off their faces.

    BTW, where’d you move to? Don’t say Kingsburg; death would be better than that. Or Modesto. Or Visalia. Dinuba. Exeter. . . you get the idea.

  • 22. vortexgods  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:13 am

  • 23. JTPatton  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:37 am

    Okay- take a day off
    But next Saturday you owe us some Nathan Bedford Forrest.

  • 24. Dr. X  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:53 am

    Hang on, does this mean that Brecher has found a new job in real life?

  • 25. my talkative ringpiece  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:58 am

    What #1 said.

    And, Here’s where I piss off all kinds of people but: The Internet is dying. I tried trusting it to get me across part of the US a few years again and Never Again. I’ll buy an old Esso map from an antique store and trust IT. It’s gotten worse since. It took me 3 tries just to get here and post, the first time I simply tried to read your post and my browser crashed. Took 2 quit-and-restarts to get where I am now, maybe it’ll disappear my post, whee! Google often takes MINUTES to load, I’m in the same area code as the big-G. Welcome to the new normal. I was looking for manuals and general information on a model of older Swift stereo microscope today and … wow … the ‘net’s been more and more full of sites that just take stuff from other sites and get a few bucks a month on the few hits they get on the ads on them, but it’s gotten really bad. The Internet as Panopticon is becoming the Internet as house of mirrors, each referring to another mirror, with perhaps an odd angle or crazy twist…..

    The key is to live, as much as possible, so that when the Internet crashes, it won’t affect you. Now, on the surface this sounds silly because if the Internet crashes, so does the US’s and a good part of the world’s economies. But think about it. Save those old Esso maps. Keep a cash-stash at home and a few cases or Ramen at least. At least know how, in theory, to do things locally, face to face, cash. Getting back to the microscopes, I could beat my head against a brick wall and try selling them online, but I’ll probably have an attack of common sense and sell them at a swap meet, face to face, cash. And get more for them that way. The Internet is dying; just because it’s dying slowly does not mean it’s not dying. With a HT to KS.

  • 26. mechio  |  May 1st, 2011 at 1:17 am


  • 27. required  |  May 1st, 2011 at 4:10 am

    Oh, adorable, I see what you did there.

  • 28. debaser  |  May 1st, 2011 at 4:13 am

    @ 25
    your shitty computer is probably the issue, not the internet 😉

  • 29. Zoner  |  May 1st, 2011 at 4:36 am

    Damn, I was hoping for some War Nerd. Oh well, I hope Dolan likes the new house/job.

  • 30. Fair enough  |  May 1st, 2011 at 5:43 am

    I’d rather the WN take a break every forty days (it’s almost biblical!) than burn out after a single hundred-day run or some crap like that.

    Looking forward to the next book, even if it is just a bunch of reprints.

  • 31. abc123  |  May 1st, 2011 at 6:22 am

    It has been 40 awesome articles.

  • 32. Danny Boy  |  May 1st, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Fuck those yuppies. Comfort yourself with this thought: most would be the first to die stupidly in a dirty revolution, and given our glacial economic collapse that day draws ever closer.

    But not you, Gary. You’re a strategic thinker. You’re a survivor. You’d last the first couple of months miserable and alone, but you’d last. Holed up in your darkened flat with that Glock in hand, living on the body fat, working out the best times for safely scrounging water… you’d make it.

    And you’d find other nerds like you. Other plotters and schemers. Clever cowards: the real survivors. You’d band together with none of the hormone-driven infighting and chest thumping that defines such cadres. Birds of a feather.

    You’d become cunning warriors, too. Clever monsters. While the treadmill yuppies and everyone who’d mourn then lie stinking in cracked asphalt wastelands you’ll still be living life. Loving life. Being all that you can be.

  • 33. Hannibal  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Qadaffi’s son and grand-kiddies just got blasted; I expect an article detailing the propaganda angle on my desk by 0800.

  • 34. darthfader  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Take a break, catch your breath. The regular WN is the best thing that’s happened to this site in years and even the nitpicking wannabe-WNs in your comment section are grateful.

  • 35. darthfader  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Also, what’s the best way to get you money for this? Buy your book?

  • 36. my talkative ringpiece  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:52 am

    #28, it’s the logical first conclusion, except that this computer isn’t really all that shitty, and someone else with a really non-shitty computer has the same problems. And, I can’t blame something in my own PC for the increasing trend for Internet sites to simply be little bits of “bait” set up to get a few eyeball-views for the Google etc ads on them. They just echo stuff on other sites, every Ebay ad lives on in 10,000 little eyeball-grabbers (yet Ebay sales are still way down??)

    This is actually a business model, How To Make Money With Web Sites, the formula is to have a lot of little sites each one getting a few hits, so you have 1000 bogus to barely-useful sites out there each getting a few dollars a month, now you have the same income you used to get doing something honest like driving a forklift or selling crack. Or driving a forklift WHILE selling crack, which would be kinda cool, actually. Then you could go on to selling crack BY the forklift-load, but I digress…..

    So it’s not all my crappy or non-crappy computer, and while I hate technology and hate it even more since my Dremel tool quit the other day, (new brushes needed?) and it’s put me into a pissy mood re. technology in general, this slow-decline-of-the-internet thing is real.

    Gary: You need to come up with some anonymous drop point to send cases of Diet Coke!

  • 37. GhostUnit  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Thank you Mr. Brecher, I love your writings. Hope things go well for you and you can write again soon 🙂

  • 38. ApeAttack  |  May 1st, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    This blog has been a wonderful source of entertainment the past 40 days. Enjoy your break!

  • 39. Coriolan  |  May 1st, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I appreciated your daily column, I was sure it wouldn’t last more than a week, you proved us wrong. Looking forward to reading from you, War nerd.

  • 40. Fu Manchu  |  May 1st, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    WN-Dolan: hope you’re enjoying a nice weekend relaxing. Take care, Monday.

    When you get back, I’d challenge one of your core points about CI warfare.

    While studying German invasion of Russia (WW2) I realize that what you suggest was German plan from beginning; any Russian behind enemy lines: shot them.

    British would have followed plan. Didn’t work!

    Why not?

  • 41. former  |  May 1st, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    They’re hiring in Fresno?

  • 42. ElCid07  |  May 1st, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    When you resume your updating, I’m very much looking forward to your comments on this breaking news that bin Laden’s apparantly been zapped.

  • 43. Doug  |  May 1st, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Bin laden just got fragged. Cant wait to hear from Gary.

    Also looking forward to all the maggot liberal leftists trying to out cultural relativist each other by eulogizing identifying with osamas “vision” over the next few days.

    Wow jacques, you “kind of understand where bin laden was coming from”? You’re so deep and counter-cultural.

  • 44. Wolf Wintergreen Longcut  |  May 1st, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    Holy Shit!! What a coincidence, the weekend you take off is the same time the media decides to let the Osama thing outta the bag!! What do you think of this? I have said that he was dead for the past five years… maybe he has been. This cant mean much, taken from your last blog on Al Queda, can it? Hopefully by the morn we will have a good blog entry on this.

  • 45. motorfirebox  |  May 1st, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Wonder if WN is going to cut his break short on account of Osama dead Laden. On the one hand, pretty big news–on the other, he just got done writing about how AQ is kinda irrelevant.

  • 46. Mudhead  |  May 1st, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    I hope the War Nerd doesn’t have to pull an all-nighter tonight . . .

  • 47. ApeAttack  |  May 1st, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    Haha… taking a break just when Osama gets killed. Great timing.

  • 48. Franko  |  May 1st, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    OSAMA’s DEAD! get to work Brecher! HOT DAMN!

  • 49. Snob Megalove  |  May 1st, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    Brecher takes a day off, and Osama gets killed. Coincidence? 😀

  • 50. Peter  |  May 1st, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    After reading your article WN37: Is there an Al-Qaeda
    APRIL 26, 2011.

    Gary, you were sooo right, 6 days after you wrote this brilliant article, Osama Bin Laden is dead. He is now living his afterlife with his 64 concubines.

    You are the oracle in our matrix world. You are the man Mr. Dolan or whoever you are.. Whatever crappy job you got now, is not worthy of your person. I will pay just to be able to read your articles on a daily basis so that you can concentrate on your writing.

    Lets all of us warnerder believers support you. Just put in a donation drive to keep you writing so that you wont be gone for months at a time.

  • 51. Swampfoot  |  May 1st, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    You picked a hell of a weekend to take off – Obama gets Osama! Can’t wait to hear your take on it.

  • 52. joe-bob  |  May 1st, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    It’s been a great 40 – I’ve enjoyed every one. Thank you kindly. I look forward to more.

    And if you haven’t read it yet, Peter Green’s Alexander of Macedon is an excellent book for a war nerd. My favorite actually.

    Keep it going, good stuff so far. Congrats on the new job.

  • 53. matt  |  May 1st, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Osama just got killed…back to work Brecher!

  • 54. pimp of the Balkans  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Oye! Wake up, you fat bastard! Osama’s been shot!

  • 55. Parl  |  May 1st, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    The War Nerd goes offline for a weekend and they bag Osama! Coincidence?? I don’t think so! Brecher is special forces people!!!

  • 56. my talkative ringpiece  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:21 am

    #41 while it’s logical to suppose that Google Maps could get a guy lost by 45 minutes’ travel time to get from point A to point B while staying within Fresno, I’m gonna go out on a limb and suppose he’s now working in some other town.

  • 57. TheStrawMan  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:46 am

    Figures, Gary takes a weekend off and all Hell breaks loose.
    Can you imagine what would happen if he ever got a girlfriend?

  • 58. TheStrawMan  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:26 am

    @ 41

    I don’t know about you, but all my maggot liberal leftist friends are too busy to eulogize, because they ran out into their front yards shouting “USA!”

    I feel sorry for you living in a place where you have to listen to some guy Jacques express his barely-formed thought about sympathizing with bin Laden…

    What country do you live in, Europe?

  • 59. Flagellum Dei  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:46 am

    We definitely expect some hot Bin Laden action by the time you’re back.

  • 60. Tyler  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 3:44 am

    I live in India but I’m american. I can’t even begin to tell how happy the Indians are, because this makes pakistan look bad.

    The afhani’s are the happiest though. They’ll start claiming Bin Laden was never there in the first place pretty soon. This is like Christmas, Channukah, and Eid wrapped up into one delicious falaffel for them.

  • 61. mookid  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 4:50 am

    you are now aware that war nerd was osama.

  • 62. hey joe  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 4:57 am

    They just whacked Osama! Get off your fat ass and back to work!

  • 63. Bester  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 5:45 am

    Use low carb diet, Brecher. It works and you can actually eat as much as you want, jut not food rich in carbs. Lost 9 pounds in a month this way and I’m not as fat as you.

  • 64. Johnnydontdoit  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Get your fat ass back to the blog desk! Bin laden is dead (supposedly, the whole thing is fishy as hell) I wanna hear what you think’s gonna happen to al Qaeda now

  • 65. Gundar  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 8:03 am

    The WN takes the day off, hiding in his fortified bunker no doubt, right right when the biggest war news in ten years hits the air waves…coincidence? We think not.

  • 66. Tenletters  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Look how far from Afghanistan Osama been hidin! Abbottabad is the foothills of Kashmir, closer to Srinigar India than to Peshawar. It’s a military town on one of the main routes of the Silk Road, now known as the Karakoram Highway. This is in one of the safe areas of the country, where tourists still go. Imagine being a cyclist on your way to Tibet and seeing OBL out getting the paper or tipping the chai wala or whatever as you rode by. You would be like damn they all look alike over here. Except you would say it in German because that is who does crazy shit like ride bikes from Pakistan to Tibet.

  • 67. Tall Saul  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 8:53 am

    I was hoping to see that this comment section was conspiracy-theory free in re: bin Laden, but not for patriotic, jingoistic, Obama-loving reasons.

    Do y’all realize what kind of support a mission like this requires? For a team of twenty-twenty five seals in four choppers, and an on the ground presence that was able to warn the neighborhood to turn off their lights and stay inside no matter what happens, it would require hundreds of people, everyone from cia operatives to air traffic controllers to mechanics to logisitic officers to the actual combat troops and all of the on the ground assets that were needed to give the all clear. Not to mention the forensic team that had to pos identify the body and all other sorts of support troops that I am forgetting about.

    If this happened and delayed the announcement by more than a week, it would have gotten out, someone would have talked, because our spies are the gabbiest spies in the business. A navy seal could not resist telling his girlfriend that he got to poke his finger inside bin Laden’s empty eye-socket. A chopper pilot would gleefully, and drunkenly, tell his buddies back home about how he gave Osama’s corpse a few kicks to the head, and the medical staff in charge of keeping him on ice would be taking hundreds of photos of them posing with his flash-freezed corpse.

    You can hide most people, even for a little while, but this story was way too big to hide for even a few days, and the hap-hazard way in which they came out and announced it, like Drudge was threatening to put it on the wire any minute, should tell you all you need to know about this non-conspiracy.

    Anyone who has ever worked in the government could tell you that the government is good at a few things, but keeping very big secrets and being discrete fell out of our bag of tricks a very long time ago.

  • 68. Hanko  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:02 am

    Usams death is important for the popular support in US in the war in Afghanistan but from a strictly military perspective the WN had commented it before that Usama is pretty much out of the picture. I’m only curies if he used that Kalashnikov he always had in his lap in each video tape he gave out, I mean did he go down like a warrior or did he cower?

  • 69. chance  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Fools, please! As if Bin Laden has actually been whacked. I bet you the WN will make the point that the whole thing smells like complete horse shit. So this guerrilla decides to go to ground by building a completely new bunker in which he will remain 24/7/365? Ya, right! Plus, the US just dumps the body in the ocean? That’s counter to every rule of counter insurgency if you bag the leader. You dangle that fucker’s corpse from a lamppost or gibbet until it’s just skeletal remains. No way we actually bagged bin Laden. Plus this comes almost exactly a week after Obama released his birth certificate. Highly dubious.

    Nonetheless, interested to hear Brecher’s take.

  • 70. Mac  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Were you in on the Bin Laden killing Brecher? Your absense here seems suspicious.

  • 71. franc black  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Bin Laden’s likely been dead for awhile, but with the CIA leadership changes and Obama starting to ‘man up’ and govern his country, they finally decided to let the people know. Besides, the Republicans have *nobody* yet to seriously challenge him in 2012. Now is the time for Obama’s regime to kick some ass and get things back on track.

    Good prelude to military cuts, which will be critical to stemming USA social and financial collapse.

    Note how nobody is mentioning any specific dates over Bin Laden death, and the process of handling the body is pretty sketchy. They better have some DNA to back this up, or a “deather” movement will start in tandem to those “birther” freaks.

    Whatever, I’m just glad if the Truth is finally out, and we can get a new start on building a more civil World where Yankee bellies don’t rely on foreign murders for their daily bread.

  • 72. bokonon  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 10:15 am

    damn, i looked to WN right after I read the news last night…. Hope you’re back soon…

  • 73. yupzsukc  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 10:54 am

    @25: the slow decay and consolidation/stagnation of the internet is merely a symptom of the slow-motion decay of society itself.

    And I absolutely LOATHE having to start some crap new job, one of my rants on this subject got me banned from

  • 74. Abdulaziz bin Olaf Finkelstein  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Now we got the PROOF. Our friend “Mr War Nerd” is not an overweight cubicle drone, but a shit hot SEAL speznaz. As we speak, he is etching a notch into the handle of his Magnum .45 with which he gave the cum-2-Allah shot to OBL just hours ago.

    Well done “Gary”!

  • 75. tam  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    I read at that a couple of Bin Laden’s wives were also killed in the firefight.

    Not sure if this is true and haven’t seen it reported anywhere else or heard it on the BBC, but the weasely way it’s being reported (‘there were some other casualties’ but no further elaboration) suggests that this did happen and the US military’s slightly embarrassed about it…

  • 76. Wolf Wintergreen Longcut  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Dont you fuckin do this… We need you. I am getting antsy because it is getting late in the day and I know you arent just checking for grammar. Come on man, this is a twisted thing to do to your followers. Id give you money but I know it is just going to end up in the pockets of your bosses. Man up and get buck.

  • 77. John Figler  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Ayayayayay! Y ahora, quien podrá defendernos?!

  • 78. Flatulissimo  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    @Tall Paul – the libertard/conspiracy theorist contradiction: how can the government be so completely inept at running things compared to the private sector, and yet also be able to engineer and pull off elaborate conspiracies without leaving any credible evidence that these conspiracies took place?

    Ah, luckily the libertarian/conspiracy nut’s mind isn’t concerned with consistancy.

  • 79. Wolf Wintergreen Longcut  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Hey just noticed an AP report that has contradictory hardware used for the raid. In one line,
    “The official says two dozen SEALs in night-vision goggles dropped into the high-walled compound in Pakistan by sliding down ropes from CHINOOK helicopters in the overnight raid.”–AP
    But later on they say,
    “U.S. BLACKHAWK helicopters ferried about two dozen troops from Navy SEAL Team Six, a top military counter-terrorism unit, into the compound…”–AP

    What do you think is up with that? It seems like a simple mistake until you think about how many people actually know the difference between a Chinook and a Blackhawk. Which do you think was used? Why do media outlets have to open their mouths when they dont know what the fuck they are talking about? Maybe this would be a good blog entry someday. “When to use the UH-60 as opposed to the CH-47.”

  • 80. freeman  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    And it only took 10 years, a few trillion dollars, and radicalizing the muslim world to an extent that OBL only dreamed of. Bureaucrats at their best….
    Ok, he’s dead. Does this mean they’re going to quit blowing tax money on various wars all over the world and repeal the “patriot” act? After all, OBL was the boogy man they used to justify both…

  • 81. Doug  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:20 pm


    Fuck Osama’s wives. I hope every single person in that luxurious mansion that guy lives in, right on down to the gardener got a few shots to the head.

    For that matter fuck Pakistan. It’s pretty damn clear those slimy mofos were hiding OBL the whole time. His damn *mansion* was half a mile from the Pakistani Military Academy. It’d be like if Bin Laden was just hanging out in downtown Langley or Annapolis the whole time.

    Anyone want to bet that Operation Evil Airlift that Gary wrote about a few days ago was probably carrying OBL. Should have just dropped a tactical nuke on the city to teach those Pakis a lesson.

  • 82. freeman  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    “how can the government be so completely inept at running things compared to the private sector, and yet also be able to engineer and pull off elaborate conspiracies without leaving any credible evidence that these conspiracies took place?”

    Actually, it leaves credible evidence all over the place.
    If it didn’t, the “conspiracy theories” would die a quick death.

    The problem is that most people refuse to believe anything other
    than what the government tells them in spite of the fact that
    the politicians can be seen lying every time they open their mouth.

    “We know that they’re lying about everything else, but on THIS subject
    they’re telling the truth!”

    Yea right.
    Believing what a politician tells you in the face of contradictory evidence:
    the mark of a sheep.

  • 83. joe-bob  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 1:53 pm


    Come on back now, hear?

    This is Joe-bob calling War Nerd. What’s your 20?

    (I am really hoping you get around to an article something like “Dysentery: The Biggest Single Decider of Battles in Hitory”. Sanitation is probably THE most neglected factor in military history. Didn’t the South evacuate, what was it, Corinth, and retreat a good space just on the basis of having made the city unsanitary to the point of being uninhabitable? (If not Corinth it was a city in the same theatre just a little before it. Can’t be bothered to look it up at the moment. Also, in the same conection, don’t neglect the antiquities. Liddel Hart did a great book on Scipio Africanus. I’m sure we will enjoy wherever you choose to take us in your next posts of course.))

  • 84. my talkative ringpiece  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    #73 – bingo.

    I bet they used Blackhawks and Chinooks.

    As for OBL’s wives, offspring, and various hangers-on, anyone remember the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers? Remember that nation of cockroaches Fat Freddy’s Cat lived an uneasy existence with? (cockroach commander) “Send them out to do the dance of death” (cockroaches run and out twirl and dance) “Sir, they’ve been killed” “That’s OK, there’s plenty more where they came from.”

  • 85. Mudhead  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 3:51 pm


    Yeah, these are the issues that are being ignored or glossed over in all these ridiculous celebrations. The alleged mastermind behind the deaths of 3000 or so American citizens on American soil remains at large for nearly a decade – more actually, if you count his first appearance on the FBI’s most wanted list. With every military, law enforcement, and intelligence resource available to two Administrations it took nearly a decade – a decade! – to track bin Laden down, and even then he had to ratted out, if we choose to believe the official story. That’s a pretty poor performance and a rotten return on investment – this is cause for celebration? It’s like the Lakers celebrating a 10-overtime victory over a junior high school team. We are given the choice between believing that the U.S. military/intelligence/law enforcement sectors are stupendously incompetent and an unconscionable waste of money; or that the entire story regarding bin Laden is, at best, incomplete.

  • 86. CB  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    I love people who pride themselves on being sophisticated and cynical by doubting everything, and do it in the most simplistic and naive way.

    Like “Oh I bet they killed Osama a long time ago, and they’re only telling us now for some retarded reason.”

    Yeah. No. The reason they told us last night, is because the news that we’d killed Osama bin Fucking Laden was obviously pretty hard to keep under wraps and was already leaking out. Like what would have happened if they’d killed him years ago. Which, if they had, they would have fairly promptly told us about anyway because as you can obviously see it’s a huge victory for whoever can claim to have done it. What, you think Bush would have sat on the news, and let himself leave office without that giant fucking bullet point in his legacy? You think if Obama had managed to nail him in Year 1 of his term he wouldn’t have been all “All of you who said I’d be soft on terror can suck it. Osama’s dead. Now pass my healthcare reform, bitches.”

    Notice how nobody really thinks this means the Taleban is defeated or that the War on Terror is even close to over? How basically, other than finally waxing this asshole for a huge moral victory, nothing has changed? Yeah, the reasons to sit on Osama’s death are nonexistent.

    A wise man once said cynicism is realism plus experience. Too many sad sacks lack both realism and experience, so they just say shit that sounds cynical without actually thinking how it would play out in reality.

  • 87. Danny Boy  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Some fun gossip for nerds before Gary weighs in:

    Video of Bin Laden’s compound and village taken by locals:

    Illustration of the compound layout:

    Local inadvertently tweets about the operation in real time:

    Chopper wreckage:,8599,2069069-1,00.html

    What was done with Osama’s body:
    (a good PR move for us, not handing it over to the locals. the last thing you want is heroic funeral parade for him.)

    Bin Laden last agitprop vid TBR:

  • 88. Akakij "Third Way" Akakievich  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    Maury Povich just had a DNA sample taken from the purported corpse of one Mr. Osama bin Laden tested, proving conclusively that the CIA was indeed his father. Necessity, that was the mother of this invention. Just like Uncle Saddam, Trujillo, Pinochet, et al., they make ’em and then they break ’em.

  • 89. DrunktankDan  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    @86 “CB”
    That was one of the most awesome takedowns of conspiracy fags I have ever read. Do I have permission to quote you in an ongoing argument I am having? I honestly don’t know why I am wasting time with this retard I am talking too. I guess the sheer stupidity of that sort of thinking makes me so angry I feel compelled to correct it. Let me know, dude
    Also, Gary! Please don’t disappear for too long man! I know you got a job and are busy again and shit, but give us an update with something as soon as you can.
    One more thing. . .is there a way to donate to the exiled? I have bought both War Nerd and Pleasant Hell. . .does “either” Dolan or Brecher have any more books out that anybody knows of?

  • 90. ?!?!?  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    Get to bottom of article

    See Man Coulter

    Wat do?

  • 91. Strelnikov  |  May 2nd, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    The trick with burying Beardo at sea is that it is allegedly against Islamic/Arab custom and now the imams who give a shit about the Yemeni are calling it an insult against the faith, yadda-yadda….

    I wanted him alive; there were a great number of questions that needed to be answered and he was the best source. Try him, then kick him from a helicopter 30,000 feet over the Atlantic or what ever childish punishment our retard government could think up.

    (BTW, Site Sysop: that dead guy who looks like bin Laden you have on the top page isn’t him; that photo has been floating around Arabic-language message boards FOR YEARS. Nobody knows who it is.)

  • 92. Be Reasonable  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 12:20 am


    “Actually, it [the gov’t] leaves credible evidence all over the place. If it didn’t, the ‘conspiracy theories’ would die a quick death.”

    Are you joking? Unfamiliar with human psychology?

    Off the top of my head: the conspiracy theory of “poisonous contrails” is tremendously popular and has even been examined by competent scientists. They’ve found absolute dick for evidence. Ditto for alien abductions.

    Just because some conspiracy theories turn out to be true doesn’t mean 99% of them aren’t total garbage. And most Americans *don’t* believe half of what the government tells them; they’re just to apathetic to care.

  • 93. bud  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 12:55 am

    And to think, I can honestly say, if I had not quite SEAL training I could have shot the bastard myself. FK my life.

  • 94. pimp of the Balkans  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 1:50 am

    So why did they dump him in the sea post haste? I’d expect more triumphalism from our imperial masters.

    Was he shot up so badly that video footage would’ve convinced no one anyway?

  • 95. Skinner'sHorse  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 4:55 am


    I picked up a book of Dolan’s poetry on Amazon, ‘People With Real Lives Don’t Need Landscapes’. As poetry goes it’s some of the best I’ve read, but then I don’t like poetry so I can’t judge it on technical criteria.

    It’s as bitter and peppery as you would expect from the author of ‘Pleasant Hell’ though – so I recommend it.

  • 96. Chav  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 7:46 am


  • 97. Tommo  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Re; that photo,

    look at this:

    Someone’s simply taken the bottom half of his face and jigsawed it together with a snapshot of a body.

  • 98. CB  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 8:56 am

    @ DrunktankDan:

    Feel free, if you think it will help. Not that I think you need my permission to quote me. 🙂

    @ BeReasonable:

    No kidding. I’d love to see this “credible evidence” that’s apparently the only reason all these retarded conspiracy theories still have legs. No, these conspiracy theories have *flimsy* *dubious* evidence, just enough to let the conspiracy nuts’ imaginations soar beyond they reach of any ground-based rationality.

    You want to see conspiracy theories with credible evidence? Go look up the Iran-Contra affair on the National Security Archive, GWU’s archive of FOIA-obtained documents. See the document where Ollie North acknowledges that Contras are smuggling cocaine into LA, and using the proceeds to buy guns, and how he thinks that’s a great solution to the funding problem. Or go see the documents showing U.S. knowledge of Iraq’s use of chemical weapons against Iran and the Kurds at the same time Ol’ Rummy was shaking Saddam’s hand.

    Real conspiracies, real cover-ups, real, credible evidence. That’s what it looks like.

    Claims of credibility mean nothing, coming from the completely credulous.

  • 99. abc123  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Chav: That photo wasn’t released by the US government. It was just some old photoshop (from 2009) that some newspapers confused for the real photo (which hasn’t been released yet).

  • 100. Todd Thompson  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 9:20 am

    OMG Gary, cant wait for you to write about how Obama got Osama

  • 101. freeman  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Yea, they buried his body at sea out of respect for islam.
    They knew it was him (in spite of the fact that a person’s looks tend to change when they get shot in the face).
    They would NEVER bury him at sea for the reason that mobsters do the same thing: so that it would never be found and they
    get to be the only ones telling the story…

    From another blog (Not my writing):

    Empire and Rebellion said…

    Is Bin Laden buried at sea:

    Near the Iraq WMDs?

    In the Gulf of Tonkin?

    Across from the USS Maine (but turn around if you come to the USS Liberty — you’ve passed it)?

    Behind the box containing all the unrecovered 9/11 airliner flight recorders?

    On a shelf with the US weapons COL Oliver North sold to Iran in his little Enterprise just after convincing his buddies in Iran to wait to release the American hostages until AFTER the 1980 US presidential election and induction ceremony on Jan 3?

    In a cupboard that’s holding the video cameras the government confiscated from Manhattan on 9/11?

    For the same reason the world trade center debris was shipped over seas before anyone could investigate the material?

    Because the Republicans would still want his birth certificate, then his other birth certificate, then his school records?

  • 102. az  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 10:53 am

    So does this mean no War Nerd or…?

  • 103. Havoc  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 11:51 am

    Still no War Nerd…Is it possible WN WAS Osama Bin Laden.

  • 104. Mudhead  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 1:09 pm


    Good shout-out for the National Security Archive. All fans of the War Nerd should be familiar with that site. A lot of great material, and a nice place to spend a lost weekend.

  • 105. freeman  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Given that the fedgov has been caught blatantly lying, covering up, using sophomoric propaganda to forward it’s agendas, and giving everyone the finger when they are caught red handed, virtually every time they open their mouth, I can’t believe that anyone -democrat, republican, Libertarian, libertarian, foreigner, christian, muslim, ANYONE- would take them at their word. If a politician says the sky is blue, you’d better go stick your head out the window to check. Their track record speaks for itself.

  • 106. Hannibal  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    The sea-burial angle is just fucking weird.

    Also, according to Wikileaks, the US knew (or should have known) that UBL’s courier worked out of Abbottabad since 2005.

    So, either the Bush administration was a complete fuck-up, or…

  • 107. Judah Maccabee  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    After you get settled in your new job/place and discuss OBL’s death maybe you could take a look at the brutal tactics of the Plains Indians and how they still haven’t given up (well the Sioux anyway).

  • 108. yossarian  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    I bet Gary is studying the web conversations now as the information evolves.

    He’s gonna do a post about how public opinion sways like a pendulum after big news like this.

    Or maybe he’s researching Pakistan?

  • 109. aUPfinn  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    It’s been two days before I could even look at the blogosphere’s reaction to this latest sensation; But I assure all of you fellow patriots that I have been waving my one inch by two inch foreign made American flag the whole time.

  • 110. Frank  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Come on Gary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Where the hell are you?
    You were always so ahead of the curve, it was spooky how your predictions about events and the info that would come out eventually were always spot on.
    Now without you, we are so behind the curve, and the news that is coming out in dribs and drabs would have been all the stuff you would call out before it came out.
    Come back soon PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. We need a daily, damn it hourly, blog on this, not some civil war retrospective jerkfest for 40 days (although we know how much the civil war gets you horny, priorities man ffs!).
    Come backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

    PS this comment from the title page says it all ;-):

    7. you | May 2nd, 2011 at 10:17 pm


  • 111. Wolf Wintergreen Longcut  |  May 3rd, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    What do you mean “still havent given up”? I am enthralled. Please elaborate.

  • 112. Erik  |  May 4th, 2011 at 1:04 am

    Weekend off, huh? More like killed by a swat-team and dropped in the Indian Ocean.

  • 113. MeoffJack  |  May 4th, 2011 at 2:22 am

  • 114. Zoner  |  May 4th, 2011 at 5:04 am

    Oh my god, the war nerd was Osama bin Laden! It all makes perfect sense now!

  • 115. PALGOLAK  |  May 4th, 2011 at 5:49 am

    Good for you buddy!

  • 116. CB  |  May 4th, 2011 at 9:03 am


    That’s funny. “If the government says the sky is blue, then it must be green” is exactly how I was characterizing the difference between my own distrust of government, and the idiotic “cynicism” I was seeing on the net, just last night. Thank you for perfectly exemplifying it.

    If the gubbmint says the sky is blue, then guess what? The gubbmint was telling the truth. Automatic rejection of anything the government says is as stupid and wrong as automatic acceptance. Because the government both lies and tells the truth, and you have to think in order to distinguish. Remember distinguishing? It’s this thing we used to do before it became cool on the internet to pretend everything is the same so you don’t have to look at the situation in specific, think, or acknowledge possibilities outside your initial assumption.

    This is exactly what I was talking about: People wearing “cynicism” like a hat so they can turn off their brain just like any other sheep, but sound ‘worldly’ when they do it. Too bad anyone who knows how to distinguish can tell these people have as little to contribute as any other unthinking person.

  • 117. Observer  |  May 4th, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Since you have been so busy, perhaps you would like to learn that Obama has killed Osama, and not vice versa.

    While the experts and analysts seem to have agreed that this fact makes for a little difference in the world, what appears certain is that both men liked to watch.

  • 118. Michael  |  May 4th, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    on the OBL raid chopper:

  • 119. EckEck  |  May 4th, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Would a modest paycheck for his time convince Gary to come back to his blog? Should his readers put together a fund?

  • 120. Observer  |  May 4th, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    C’mon the War Nerd, man… You need to come back to your beginnings now, and round this baby up with a nice finish:


  • 121. pimp of the Balkans  |  May 4th, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    If our WN is now on the bottom of the Indian Ocean, his beautiful beard half-shaved, a pair of shorts stuffed in his mouth, his shroud covered in mocking, crude graffiti from illiterate navy ratings… then, damn it, it’s time to admit Osama was cool, and that we’ve all been wrong about him.

    A fanatic? A terrorist? More like a thoughtful, witty, gentle, cultured man murdered by his brutish inferiors, crusaders, infidels, maybe even Jews… A man, in fact, whose every pitiful wound is a mouth, a mouth calling every right-thinking individual to JIHAD.

  • 122. DrunktankDan  |  May 4th, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    @ 116 CB. Still layin’ it down brother! I’m about to get a bucket of popcorn for this shit. You should get your own fuckin column.
    Abject cynicism is one of the laziest and most cowardly policies one can adopt. “Oh no! I am too much of a pussy to emotionally commit myself to something because I am terrified about the miniscule chance that someone will prove me wrong and embarrass me. I guess I had better shit on everything in order to guarantee my coolness.”
    Goddamn my generation is fucking useless. Almost as useless as the boomers.
    Also. . .MARK AND YASHA PLEASE PUT A PAYPALL BUTTON ON BRECHER’S BLOG. . .you guys might actually get some fuckin money for once. I’m broke as shit barely surviving on low end drug deals and I will kick down what I can. Who knows how much actually employed people will throw at it?

  • 123. Tyler  |  May 5th, 2011 at 7:45 am

    Brecher = Bin Laden

    That’s why there are no new posts since Bin Laden got wacked. That’s why Brecher always knew Al Quaeda’s next move. Brecher was Bin Laden.

  • 124. R. Green  |  May 5th, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    The Brecher = OBL angle is humorous but I’m jonesin’ for the tasty meat:gristle combo the daily Brecher articles were bringing to the table.

    May 18-25 is National Safe Boating Week. How about a post-a-day about the worst maritime war fubars in history?

  • 125. the dude  |  May 5th, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    ahh..unintended consequences…gotta love em

  • 126. BahamaPapa  |  May 5th, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    Ok, weekend off is ok. Time’s up! Get back to work or we’ll your ration of gruel. *crack!*

    Oh, and you”re not allowed to leave Fresno: might end up someplace nice, meet a blonde with big tits, get a life and stop war nerding. Not part of the deal!

  • 127. furioso  |  May 6th, 2011 at 12:32 am

    we need to fix garys char B1 fast,ive been waiting for the SEAL article everyday,anyone have some 1939 spare parts lying around?

  • 128. Erik  |  May 6th, 2011 at 1:27 am

    Hi…i don’t understand this Osama-news…i mean really don’t understand this. And yes i disstrust the American government. last time they lied we ended up in two stupid wars which bankrupted our defense-apparatus. By the way, greetings from the Netherlands, very happy to be your clueless pion.

    Anyway, i have a lot of questions…if there really are pictures of Osama with a bullethole in his head, taken from a camara mounted on a Seal-helmet…shouldn’t there be pictures of Osama just before he got shot?

    They say there was a 40 minute fighting before Osama got killed.
    40 minutes? Aren’t Seals supposed to be way quicker than that? The house of Osama was located near a pakistani HQ…did they have the time to fight for 40 minutes. didn’t the pakistani-army show up to see what was happening? Or at least the part of the pakistani-army payed by Alqaeda?

    Why would you kill Osama…would you not try to get as much info out of him?
    Would it not be more logical to tell the world he’s dead, and torture him somewhere?
    and if he’s being tortured, could you not make a picture of him while a sleep or something…the myth would die instantly, in stead it looks like the american government wants to create a myth…why would you do that?

    If the corpse was taken to a ship somewhere. in orde to give him a islam-burial?!?
    Islam buries their dead 24 hours later near the place the died ( not in a ocean), after washing him ( what might have been a good time to take pictures of Osama without all the blood) and making sure his head will stay pointed towards Mekka…drifting in an ocean?

    If he was buried at sea…and there was no after-party? there were no witnesses? Why are there no stories about ” hey i was there man!” no leaks?

    they didn’t want to give Alqaeda a new holy place to whorship Osama…When this nigerian tried to blow up a plane in midair, there were reports that he was on a list of 5 million suspects. Wouldn’t a new holy place be a nice filter to get a better view of who’s on your side and who’s not?

    that picture of the situation-room…pisses me of most. our socalled journalists seem to know exactly what Clinton was thinking, because they, somewhere in the past talked to her…yess, we in Holland have journalists who do not need to have any evidence, they can see what people on photo’s are thinking…maybe a sixth-sense or something?

    Anyway when i look at that picture, all the lines end up by Obama. Obama is sitting next to the man in charge, and still all the lines end up at Obama. Art(-photos) are compositions to make sure the one who watches gets the story that being told…is this a photo for real or just propaganda?

    Anyway please come back…your articles are part of my wake-up-routine…and yess im not ashamed to say it, I miss you!!!


  • 129. Donald Trump  |  May 6th, 2011 at 1:42 am

    Crusaders, Mujahadeen, Libertarians – throw down your arms and surrender immediately. I, Donald, have terminated Bin Laden. I, Donald, bought America’s debt on eBay. You untermensch belong to me. The infidel Brecher has been dispatched to Columbia. Give up your women, thumb drives, and matsoh.


  • 130. abc123  |  May 6th, 2011 at 7:49 am

    “ahh..unintended consequences…gotta love em”

    Same thing happened in Serbia, it’s more of a tradition.

  • 131. CB  |  May 6th, 2011 at 11:05 am

    I’m hoping that the Nerd has settled in, but has decided to temporarily forgo the daily blog format in order to drop one of his long, well-researched thought bombs on us.

  • 132. Belgian  |  May 6th, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Get your shit together Brecher, the longer you stay absent, the more energy it will take to get going again. If it was at all true that you were actually moving house and starting a new job the moment OBL gets wacked, you had tough luck. Guess what man, noone with endless good luck ever ends up smart and calculating. You probably expect there to be hordes of readers waiting for your illuminous thoughts on all this and that must be intimidating.

    Just rest assured, a lot of us don’t expect you to give the most awe-inspirering insights on this to confirm your eloquent past. I had much rather seen this to be over with so you can get back to the routine you had started. Giving us small insights and topics of discussions while treating us on civil war saturday and book-sunday. Don’t shut down

  • 133. alexxander  |  May 6th, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Have patience people. WN taking his time is a good thing, let the story settle then we can get some good analysis.

  • 134. Anon  |  May 6th, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Binny boy gets topped off at the worst possible moment…
    Gary, we need you!

  • 135. matryoshka  |  May 6th, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Ok, plenty of time passed for Gary to return from Abottabad, so that theory is dead.

    A new theory is in order. Perhaps Dolan’s other alter ego was Osama bin Laden? If that’s the case, then I for one am sad to see him go.

  • 136. my talkative ringpiece  |  May 6th, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    Come on people!

    OBL = THIN
    War Nerd = FAT

    I rest my case.

  • 137. some random cunt  |  May 7th, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Brecher, come back. I need to get my daily fix of War Nerd or I’ll end up torching people’s vineyards and shit.

  • 138. joe-bob  |  May 7th, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    #136, that could have just been deep cover. (ie. fat suit)

    C’mon now, we’re all war nerds here… let’s amuse each other while we wait. Write up your own lil war review & post it here. It may not beat the War Nerd, but any war nerd in a storm.. or something like that.

  • 139. Mudhead  |  May 8th, 2011 at 5:57 am

    IIRC, something similar happened when the WN first went AWOL. I can’t recall when that was, and the eXiledonline archives aren’t much help, but I recall an event happening that was dialed in to the Nerd’s recent articles and which cried out for a comment. It may have been something to do with nKundla or the Somalia pirates. But there wasn’t so much as a peep from the WN, and when he resumed posting he didn’t address it. Does anyone else remember this?

  • 140. SVV  |  May 8th, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Keep on with your well deserved break if you need to but if you don’t come back you’ll be dearly missed Gary.

    I miss WaR NeRD

  • 141. Joe  |  May 8th, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Gee – I hope War Nerd comes back soon.

    In the meantime, I will try and amuse you all with a little theory of mine. What do you guys think of the idea that Osama Bin Laden chose the date for his 9/11 in order to reference the Battle Of Vienna when Islam came close to crushing Christianity in Europe. That battle took place on September 11th, 1683.

    I have heard some say this was the most important battle Europe ever saw. But equally – the choice of 9/11 by Osama Bin Laden may just be a coincidence.

    Hard to say. Any takers?


  • 142. bud  |  May 9th, 2011 at 12:54 am

    Hey man, just checking in with you. Been thinking about some of the things you’ve said and some of the books I’ve read. I really appreciate your deep understanding of the animal mind we’ve got and how it applies to war. You’ve already pointed out the new era of warfare in which human life apparently has taken a new and higher value than it has traditionally. But this is all really part of a trend that has been in motion for a very long time, much longer than the last 60-100 years. Take the example of slavery. Unacceptable to pretty much everybody in todays world. Slavery wasn’t always around you know. The norm of annihilating all of one’s enemies at one point gave way to the understanding that your defeated enemy was actually worth something alive. Human life suddenly went from having the minimum value of zero to the value of labor extracted. An economic gain for the enslaver, and a gain of life for the slave. A negative today, but a positive in relation to the previous state of affairs. An economic exchange between the powerful and the powerless that created a mutual gain. Then some thousands of years went by and human consciousness developed to a point, where human life gained enough value on its own that it became debatable whether it was ethical to keep humans as property. Debates like this led to your favorite hobby, the American Civil War (which I love reading you write about btw).
    When pressed by a severe stressor, or when in a state of power and impunity (e.g war), you know how people act toward each other typically. That does not surprise. The exceptions surprise. The events during which people should be treating each other like animals but don’t, that’s what I want to hear about, like the German soldier who preferred to be stripped naked and shot (and was) rather than execute civilians. Honestly without that, what is the point to life? I have to believe that we are going to dig ourselves out of this toilet eventually. We’re still here so there is no reason not to go with that argument, unless you just want to be depressed and defeated. This is why religion is horrible, and awesome at the same time: Imagine being Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption and digging that tunnel through concrete to get out of that cell. You don’t know how thick the wall is, it could be a foot, it could be a hundred miles. You start digging and you realize after a few years that it could last the rest of your life. But then again it might not. You’re going to be in the cell anyway, so what would you rather believe to help you dig that tunnel?
    I believe that the reason that virtually every civilization that ever existed has had a religion of some kind is genetic. It is a mental organ that evolved over time because it produced an advantage in those who had it. Their belief for no rational reason in something greater than themselves allowed them to survive by continuing to behave in a stable and purposeful manner through despair in a state of adversity, whereas the reasonable person might give up. The difference in follow-through can produce results as various as a palm leaf shack or a giant pyramid in the middle of the Egyptian desert.
    There was a book I read by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, a Russian Infantry officer who fought the Nazis somewhere around East Prussia. He was apparently doing a great job but made the mistake of criticizing Stalin in a letter to a pal. He was imprisoned in a gulag for 10 years and wrote ‘The Gulag Archipelago’ to describe it, many years later. His writing challenged my assumptions about human nature. I always assumed that it was animal with a thin crust of human. But really, there is more to it than that. I won’t give it all away because it is pretty damn amazing. But I will say that if the history is correct, then kindness is not just a luxury for comfortable people. Even in the worst conditions imaginable, especially in those conditions, it has shown itself to be a more adaptive trait for survival than domination and predation.

  • 143. the real joe  |  May 9th, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    I bet war nerd is having a mental breakdown/religious epiphany after his discovery of the Monitor Merrimack religion.

  • 144. the real joe  |  May 9th, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    You just need to spend time with people who you can relate too.

  • 145. Warlord  |  May 10th, 2011 at 7:20 am

    I will kill one hostage per hour until War Nerd blogs about Bin Laden. Starting now…

  • 146. thebattlecat  |  May 10th, 2011 at 8:37 am

    We appreciate you, WN. Your point of view and your humor are irreplaceable. Don’t let the sheep/debt slaves keep you down.

  • 147. hey joe  |  May 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am

    yo this is bullshit. i’m gonna go find some other war nerd.

  • 148. Maarten Schenk  |  May 10th, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    While we wait for the WN to come back, two theories:

    * The reason the Bin Laden Death Photo hasn’t been released is because it shows he was shot in the back of the head.

    * The experiments with laser weapons on ships etc. aren’t about anti-missile defence but about future anti-drone warfare. Nothing fucks up sensitive optical sensors like a good blast of laser light.


  • 149. g  |  May 10th, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    come back nerd your people need you

  • 150. blackpanther  |  May 10th, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Do not forsake us against, war nerd.

  • 151. TheWarTurd  |  May 10th, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Two questions after the OBL op.
    1.) Does USA have the cojones to take out the rest of al-Q hiding in Pakistan?
    2.) Now that the Pakis are way cosier with China and the Indians gave the Yanks the finger for the $12 billion F16/F18 deal, is the American South Asia policy well and truly screwed.

    God-damme WN, dont be such a tease.

  • 152. internal exile  |  May 11th, 2011 at 2:21 am

    I’m a fucking stingy little coward who won’t give the WN and The eXiled any money, even though I lap up every syllable they utter as gods’ truth and the light. So don’t mind my little coward comments here guys. I’m useless, existing only as a lesson to all of you: do not become me, a pathetic little miser who leaves angry anonymous notes on this site, rather than give my gods money. So pony up or go Nerdless for a while!

  • 153. Diablo  |  May 11th, 2011 at 7:50 am

    For Maarten Schenk,
    I would like to discuss as we wait…

    As per the reason for no photos, I doubt it would matter in the least to the average American if Bin Laden took one in the back of the head. Hell they could have video of him being led outside blind folded, put on his knees, and a double cap while the Seal Team is having a fucking bar-b-que in the background and it really wouldn’t matter. We are talking about the figure head of an organization that inspires others to blow up chlorine gas trucks in front of elementary schools.

    I suspect that the real reason the photos have not been release is that the white house wants to hold onto them to as close as possible to the next presidential election. From a simple campaign point of view, slap a pic of Bin Laden’s face minus an eye ball on a button after the public has forgotten about the mission after a while and its smooth sailing…shit I would vote for the fucker. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if more and more stuff were released as the election drew closer.

    For your other topic, I never really understood how a carrier was supposed to defend anything on its own (say its entire air wing was disabled or whatever and there are zero support ships around). I served on a carrier from 2000-2006 as a nuke machinist mate (so I lived and worked at the bottom of the boat the entire time basically). Them CWSS things they got (big ass Gatling guns) that are supposed to knock out missiles… never made no sense to me. First of all, they can’t aim straight up and secondly, even when they would test those things, I never saw them hit a damn thing other than the water. I mean, they can’t exactly turn all that fast and the actual range is tiny. So they pretty much have ZERO room for error. If they are letting anything get that fucking close that it gets a shot, so many people have fucked up royally that its a moot point…more shit is going wrong than just a missile inbound.

    What is really scary, at least it was to me, was how piss poor the anti-sub guys on our boat were. We used to have war games that the rules kept changing and changing to give the carrier a chance as no one want to tell the fleet admiral his cabin was supposed to be in the bottom of the ocean. First the “enemy” subs could use passive sonar…and we got killed. So now they can only use active…and we got killed. So then the subs have to be pinging as loud as fucking possible, non-stop. I shit you not, I remember sitting on the mess decks listening to the “enemy” subs pinging us so loud you could actually hear it…and we still couldn’t find them. So then, the subs had to come up to periscope depth at regular intervals…and our anti-sub guys still couldn’t find them. Admiral Rickover was right…carriers, especially nuke carriers are just floating targets.

    Then again, I just handled propulsion, electricity, and water production so its not like I really have a fucking clue over anyone else.

  • 154. Maarten Schenk  |  May 12th, 2011 at 12:35 am

    @Diablo: It might not matter to the U.S. voting public, and campaign reasons seem plausible, but imagine what it would look like in the rest of the world. I think it would make it a lot less likely that anyone would want to surrender to U.S. troops in the future, plus it would put U.S. troops that got captured in a lot more danger of being summarily executed.

    As to lasers/drones, check this video:

    If a low-powered, regulated-to-the-max, run-of-the-mill lightshow laser can do this to a camera, imagine what a military laser with the full power of a nuclear reactor behind it could do to the sensors of a drone. And drones are basically slow moving line-of-sight targets, so laser-killing them would be entirely feasible I think.

  • 155. hobomaker  |  May 12th, 2011 at 2:14 am

    I just spotted the War Nerd in Hell’s Kitchen, all excited and shit, turns out it was some scandinavian guy.
    but I have a question for you Gary, until you get to your senses and the new job wears you down, like they all do, and I’m gonna lay it out for you like I learned in the board room. here we go: obviously, bin laden’s death is the best sign the US empire is crumbling down. how was that a “military” victory? everybody on the ground knows the wars in iraq and afghanistan have been lost and this is way worse than Nam in terms of costs and implications. killing osama is quite a lame attempt to give the masses the illusion of some sort of “victory” – although it makes some electoral sense. but who can buy now seriously anymore the big bad wolf politics now that the big bad wolf is dead. now, there’s also a general consensus that the american people will never start an insurrection, we’re so deeply fucked up that our bodies will make us take cheetos cheese anytime over some future happiness. on the other hand, there’s the military machine, the biggest and most successful corporation of the world. so here’s my question: what will it take to have a spectacular falldown of the US, not some lame fizzling out for like two decades with one last pathetic fart. at least we should get a show for our money. and a second one: what would it take for the army to freakin take over? isn’t there any evil genius in this world planting seeds of mutual discontent within the different military agencies? I mean, I still don’t get it, why would a real enemy target primarily civilians? do you see what I mean?

  • 156. Simon Schama  |  May 12th, 2011 at 2:25 am

    Update already, you failure.

  • 157. The real joe  |  May 12th, 2011 at 10:12 am

    @43 Doug good buddy. You criticized Jacques for saying “kind of understand where bin laden was coming from.” Well that is called empathizing with your enemy. This is Robert McNamra’s 1st rule of war. But what the hell would he know, he was only a man who used that strategy to prevent a nuclear fuck holocaust.

    Speaking McNamra, Brecher is this generation’s Sun Tzu/Machiavelli.


    Someone who has yet to pony up but will come friday
    (seriously, you guys have enough material for a monthly or quarterly magazine)

  • 158. Diablo  |  May 12th, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    @Maarten Schenk
    Maybe I am just jaded, but I could totally see, no matter which party, a president putting his campaign ahead of the safety of US military personnel. I think that is one of the reasons why the military in the US is often hamstring by retarded policies and rules of engagements that make little tactical sense.

    As per making it less likely for potential combatants less willing to surrender, I think Abu Grav, Gitmo, and the CIA run black prisons have done more damage than seeing Bin Laden’s bullet holed head. And lets be honest about the area of the world we are talking about…I would be shocked if the average Taliban fighter hasn’t seen dead bodies since the age of 10.

    I don’t see the photo release as a greater threat for US personnel getting executed if they are captured. If the Taliban have shown anything, they don’t have the patience nor the savvy to deal with hostages. To even get one requires either the US military person wandering off site (an extreme rarity) or sticking around an engagement area to try and snag an incapacitated soldier/marine. That means they are sticking around for the cavalry on the off chance they can drag off a guy that most likely won’t make it through the night and is going to slow them down. Its far to easy to just use IED’s, with low risk and decent returns.

    And, this is just my opinion, America does not give a fuck what the rest of the world things. If we did, Iraq II never happens, Vietnam ends a hell of a lot quicker, and we start giving a shit about the simple fact we are consuming insane amounts of energy.

  • 159. internal exile  |  May 12th, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    sorry, guys, I just donated. Sorry about the angry note too, been going through a lot of stuff lately. Will try to do better.

  • 160. Greetings from Catalonia  |  May 13th, 2011 at 4:29 am

    I’ve just donated 10 buck via PayPay. It’s not much, but I don’t have much. Take care, WN.

    Greetings from Catalonia.

  • 161. vimothy  |  May 13th, 2011 at 8:51 am

    WTF? Back to your post War Nerd.

  • 162. WNF  |  May 14th, 2011 at 8:11 am

    A daily dose of War Nerd?

    I knew it was too good to be true.

  • 163. R. Green  |  May 14th, 2011 at 9:38 am

    K WN,

    I ponied up some hard Canadian currency. Wasn’t much but I’d gladly fork it out quarterly or bi-monthly if the articles kept coming.

    Do your thing!

  • 164. Carpenter  |  May 14th, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    “We are talking about the figure head of an organization that inspires others to blow up chlorine gas trucks in front of elementary schools.” –Yeah Diablo, that evil Osama bin Laden, spearheading the clash of cultures against the West. Unless you actually listen to what he has said over and over. He wants the U.S. killings and tyranny in the Middle East to stop.

    The U.S. bombed Iraq’s infrastructure for twelve years, on average once a week. Hussein had had the temerity to give Palestinian resistance groups financial and diplomatic support, so the entire country must be destroyed. They deliberately targeted power plants and water refineries, so that people would die in the summer heat without air conditioning and clean water. And they did. This was coupled with economic warfare, starving the nation. Half a million Iraqi children died from this state terrorism, about which Madeleine Albright said in an MSNBC interview, “I believe it was worth it.” (Video quickly pulled from the MSNBC website.)

    Meanwhile the U.S. is funding and protecting Israel, as it keeps building settlements on the last 22 percent of Palestinian land, and shooting unarmed Palestinian civilians in the street to make them fight back, which is used as an excuse to kill them in the thousands like a few years ago.

    Add to that the propping up of corrupt dictators all over the Middle East on one overriding condition: that they do nothing to help the Palestinians. Like Mubarak, who closed the border to the Gaza Strip, not even allowing food and baby formula through. A deliberate starvation campaign.

    So yeah, what do you think Osama bin Laden should do? Maybe … write a letter to Congress? Maybe write a letter to the real Congress, Knesset in Israel? Write a letter to the editor in New York Times, to ask Americans to elect a politician who would change all this?

    Hah. Hilarious, all the fake believers in democracy. Osama bin Laden said over and over that he was not an enemy of the American people, but he desperately sought to change the American-funded, Israel-run killings and tyranny in the Middle East. Americans had shown that they would never, ever make their politicians change. So to stop the massive American killings, Osama bin Laden decided that some of the enemy had to be killed, which would either wake up a few Americans to their crimes, or drag them in to wars in the Middle East that would bleed them dry.

    I fully support that.

  • 165. debaser  |  May 15th, 2011 at 7:42 am

    Im just about ready to give up on even checking this site anymore. If i see that picture of the tank at the top of this page again i think im going to break something.

  • 166. ApeAttack  |  May 15th, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I think the WN is only allowed a certain number of keystrokes per year and he has used up his keystroke allowance through 2014.

    Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Like so many things in life, you never truly appreciate something until it is gone.

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