Grant: Never Got Over Junior High
Friday nights I read Civil War books. I noticed a European said in the comments last week how sick he is of the US Civil War. Well, my hemispherically-challenged bud, you’re not going to like today’s column but you have to understand that for every decent American, the Civil War is comfort food. It’s where we all started, all the war nerds I ever talked to anyway, and we all go back there to charge up after a week in the work world.
U. S. Grant would understand the impulse, because although he said “a military life has no charms for me,” he sure didn’t do too well as a civilian. Without the civil war he’d have been a bitter drunken failure.
I’ve been rereading Grant’s memoirs. You can find them for free on Gutenberg.
They’re a lot more readable than most of the crap written now, not just because they’re by one of the last great Americans but because they’re just plain good. Every time I do that there’s another surprise. This time it’s how he never got over getting scammed for five dollars in a horse deal, because he offered $25 for the horse when he could have had it for $20:
“I could not have been over eight years old at the time. This transaction caused me great heart-burning. The story got out among the boys of the village, and it was a long time before I heard the last of it. Boys enjoy the misery of their companions, at least village boys in that day did, and in later life I have found that all adults are not free from the peculiarity. I kept the horse until he was four years old, when he went blind, and I sold him for twenty dollars. When I went to Maysville to school, in 1836, at the age of fourteen, I recognized my colt as one of the blind horses working on the tread-wheel of the ferry-boat.”
That’s about the saddest piece of writing I know. Sure, I know it’s supposed to be comedy, a little homespun humor, but under that poor old Grant is still hurting, using every excuse kids come up with when they’re trying to live down getting turned into a village punchline. First it’s age: “I could not have been over eight years old at the time,” damn it! Gimme a break! Then there’s the classic argument you hear about somebody’s dumb used-car buy: “I kept the thing for six years! Never had a problem with it til the clutch went! And even then I sold it for a little less than I paid!”
But the core of the whole story is that line, “Boys enjoy the misery of their companions, at least village boys in that day did…” They still do, General. Well, maybe not; I get the idea that “bullying” is now officially A Bad Thing. That blows me away. I’ve been on both sides of it and to be honest it’s like, what else would you do? Outlawing bullying, that’s like telling half-grown puppies not to bite each others’ ears: what else would they do, read books? There’s not that much going on in your typical boy’s head and what there is is pure meanness.
Speaking as somebody who’s been shoved in a locker more than once, and they got an additional punch line out of the fact I didn’t fit, I have to ask, what’s going to replace bullying? Weird world it’ll be. Maybe bullying will be an adult thing now, because it’s going to be mighty weird growing up protected from it in a world where grownups think Donald Trump is the ideal boss. It’ll be like going from some Quaker school in Amherst straight to the first morning of Shiloh. Talk about Bambi Meets Godzilla—man, people will hit their 18th birthday and go straight into yuppie S&M porn.
Grant’s a great talker, or writer—seems to be talking more than writing, but then most of the writers worth reading have that said about them. But all his jokes are sad as Hell. He doesn’t waste any pity on the Confederates—he doesn’t have a lot of respect for any of them except Forrest, and he has a hard time keeping a straight face talking about the great Robert E. Lee. And he doesn’t see their precious Lost Cause as worth a damn either–seems to think of all those egomaniacs on horses as classic “village boys” or rather “adults” who “are not free from the peculiarity” of living by scaring other people, their slaves or Northern “mudsills” or anybody else they could bluff.
But when he talks about the Mexicans, he goes about as far as he can to say they were right and we were wrong, and more than that, he seems to have liked them, as much as anybody could who was busy slicing up their country to offer to the slaveholding plantation bullies.
And of all the Southerners he likes Texans the least—gives them a slap for conducting their Independence war with “so much cruelty,” and mentions the danger down there from Apaches but adds, “…and there were white men in Texas I would not have cared to meet in a secluded place.” He tells another slow farm-joke story about an Ohio family that emigrated to Texas and emigrated back as fast as they could scramble “with a very different impression of the place than that with which they had departed.”
Most of the sadness in Grant is just the hopeless memory of a kid who never forgot a burn. There was the time Grant came home from West Point in his proud new uniform (you have to remember that clothes were WAY more expensive then, and a much bigger deal than they are now) and the the drunk who owned the saddlery across the street decided it’d be a hoot to make fun of the boy by sewing a military stripe on his denims and parading in the street (with his shit-sweeping broom over his shoulder, the way I imagine it):
“Opposite our house in Bethel stood the old stage tavern where “man and beast” found accommodation, The stable-man was rather dissipated, but possessed of some humor. On my return I found him parading the streets, and attending in the stable, barefooted, but in a pair of sky-blue nankeen pantaloons—just the color of my uniform trousers—with a strip of white cotton sheeting sewed down the outside seams in imitation of mine. The joke was a huge one in the mind of many of the people, and was much enjoyed by them; but I did not appreciate it so highly.”
He’s telling you all this in a great midwestern comedy voice, all “self-deprecating” as they say, but it’s clear he can still feel it, even after defeating the Confederacy, even while he’s dying of cancer and in incredible pain, even after losing all his money to the same con man who took Mark Twain’s fortune—none of that is as real as getting picked on as a kid. Never leaves, branded on your forehead.
The more I read from other countries the more American this sounds to me. Are we the only people in the world who can’t get over junior high, or are we the only ones willing to admit it? Other people get kicked around when they’re young, that much I know, but they seem to bounce back from it better. Maybe it’s because in other places there’s “authority” to push against, and the kids band together against it; here it’s kid against kid, me against everybody, and you only remember the parts where you lose and they shove you in the locker.
If it was just me I’d write it off, but when Grant can’t get over what happened at the junior-high dance, that’s just weird.
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40 Comments
Add your own1. Coriolan | April 2nd, 2011 at 11:27 am
“I noticed a European said in the comments last week how sick he is of the US Civil War”
Everybody should be sick of the US civil war. The biggest waste of real american people. They could’ve marched on the whole world if they wanted to.
2. Soj | April 2nd, 2011 at 11:30 am
Damn, a sad story on a Saturday night :((
3. Punjabi From Karachi | April 2nd, 2011 at 11:50 am
Aww, this was sweet and cute. And don’t worry, Yuppie S & M starts from junior Yuppie training time. Even if they “banned” bullying, people would find minor ways around it to shun people. But yeah, good to see General Grant saw the Confederates as the egomaniacs they were, and realised the Mexicans were ok-ish.
As for other places, you’re partially right about “authority”, but from what I understand in America, there’s also “authority” to push against, its only more dffused, and better concealed; like the stocks of a company. In other places, people sort of do admit that Juniour High was a funny pain, but they treat it as training for what will come later. And yeah, there are battles to fight in real life.
This summary from Sherman was cute. Most civil wars involve quadruple crossing, and quintuple crossing, like its nobody’s business. Hilarious fun, if you win.
4. Punjabi From Karachi | April 2nd, 2011 at 11:53 am
I’m sorry, not Sherman, Ulysses S. Grant. The ‘S’ stood for nothing, just an ‘S’, if I remember correctly. Still, cute to read of one of democracy’s heroes.
5. NoImportaNada | April 2nd, 2011 at 12:03 pm
The link doesn’t work. 😛 I have to say, this was a good article to read. I would really like to know more about what Grant thought of Mexicans, for obvious reasons…
For the whole junior high thing, I guess he just holds a grudge, and i don’t blame him. Instead of moping, he should have slapped a few people around to put them in check.
Just my thoughts. Anyways, good article and keep them coming. Your articles are what brings me hope to continue living in this shit world.
6. Dyevist | April 2nd, 2011 at 12:10 pm
I’m flashing back to Pleasant Hell a bit here. Love it. Keep up the good work Dolan, err, Brecher.
7. Westmorland | April 2nd, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Did Hiram Ulysses favor Toyotas or Nissans? Or was it a Kubelwagen with the 8-trk option? When he organized the Zetas in Veracruz, how much ‘vig’ did he get from the sicarios? Let’s have some more cool war shit lowdown, say 750 words on the Moro Islamic Liberation Front Pilates cabal.
8. connor | April 2nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Do anything to put a boy in shape to be ridiculed or ignored at school; make him wear odd clothing; give him a weird haircut; make him too heavy; give him an odd name; move him around a lot so he’s always the “new kid;” and you’ve gone a long way toward making him a bitter adult, out for power, wanting to dominate others and to inflict pain.
9. Duarte Guerreiro | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I think its just the nature of the beast. The younger you are, the brighter the burn, the more it sears your still tender flesh. After you get some callouses it doesn’t sting as much.
Myself, I was always more abuser than abused in school and even then some of the shit I got (mostly from vengeful girls, as I couldn’t squeeze their neck as I did to the guys, gentleman that I was) still pisses me off today if I allow all that crap to float up from whatever memory mass grave I buried it in.
And I was in those nice European schools where the teachers forced you to handshake the guy you just gave a nosebleed to if they caught you. Judging by Ames book, I can only imagine the repressed fury kids feel in the American system where even teachers root for the asshole.
If you think about it, Grant is kind of a happy story. The poor kid who has to eat all kinds of shit from a bunch of ignorant peasants and then gets placed in charge of an army tasked with killing hundreds of thousands of the same assholes that fucked with him. Makes you all warm inside.
Also, that other European douche has to read your older articles about the Civil War. I also detested it (who cares about a bunch of Americans killing each other in brown-gray and brown-blue uniforms? Now those Europeans armies, thats fashion!) but you made it come alive for me. Truly a total war of great heroes, clean and proper. Maybe the problem is that Americans don’t like to export the Civil War as much? Not much space for boastful pride in your own Civil War, kind of like the Japanese and Germans don’t talk WW2. Without cultural and artistic backing, the perception of the American Civil War over here is a diffuse and distant image of brown uniforms, something about slaves and Lincoln’s hat.
10. Fissile | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Growing up in America bulled and cast out will surely mess you up in the head as an adult. Growing up in America as a suburban prince/princess will probably screw you up even more.
Take for example the star football player from my high school class. He was offered a scholarship to play college ball. In college he lasted one season on the gridiron and was cut. He lasted one more semester as a regular student and was asked to leave. After two failed career attempts and a divorce, he went to real estate school. Today he’s a grossly overweight, graying real estate salesmen living with wife #2 and two kids. He looks, and acts, just like a guy who peaked at 17 years of age.
Another example would be a girl I use to call Ms. Grade-Whore. Really not endowed with an outstanding native intelligence, but she possessed a single minded desired to get straight A’s, and a work ethic that would make Edison and Ford look like Beavis and Butt-Head by comparison. She went on to State U and earned her PhD in near record time. Unfortunately, she never made the cut for that professorship that she desired more than anything else in life. Today she works as a research scientist for a run of the mill Midwestern school. That PhD is now like a giant millstone around her neck.
I could tell you the story of the class valedictorian who went off to MIT, only to end up at State U, along with me, after 2 semesters at MIT.
These days I check out their Facebook profiles. A sad and pathetic bunch who show very obvious signs of damage from having taken the fall from the heights teen/young adult greatness and promise.
Come to think of it, I don’t know a single person from my high school, and it was a very large school, who went on to do anything of great importance. Some achieved minor suburban success, such as becoming lawyers or CPA’s, but that’s about it.
In America the only thing worse than being a big fat failure at a young age, is being a big suburban success at a young age.
11. Esn | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I’m glad to have had very little bullying in my school years in Toronto. Friends are what replaces it. You know that Toronto-based comic, Dinosaur Comics, how it’s relentlessly good-natured yet not boring, either? I think that captures the general gist of things.
Having said that, what’s going on in the US is the worst of both worlds: you get the bullying, and at the same time, the victims are told to never fight back.
“It’ll be like going from some Quaker school in Amherst straight to the first morning of Shiloh.”
Seems not too far off the mark in Russia, or at least how it was… Russian children are really protected and have all sorts of beautiful, life-affirming books and cartoons made for them. Then they have to suddenly enter an adult world that’s far, far harsher and nastier, with a very short adjustment period.
12. matt | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:15 pm
…okay, I’m beginning to think that Dolan/Brecher realized doing a blog every day for…however long was a mistake, or just unmanageable, and the others are chipping in. maybe a big april fools prank. Some of this stuff sounds like Brecher, other parts not.
This choice of topic sounds like soemthing Ames would pick if he were pretending to be brecher.
It’s a good article but it just doesn’t seem like Brecher.
13. Jyp | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Yeah, but.. he’s 8 years old.. and he’s buying a horse! For $25! Don’t tell me that wasn’t a lot of money back then. Not like now, where the dollar is just a joke. He’s 8 years old.. he’s got $25.. and he’s buying.. a horse! Even coming as I do from an old cowboy family of westerners (on both sides), I am impressed.
14. gc | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:39 pm
[i]”Are we the only people in the world who can’t get over junior high, or are we the only ones willing to admit it? Other people get kicked around when they’re young, that much I know, but they seem to bounce back from it better. Maybe it’s because in other places there’s “authority” to push against, and the kids band together against it; here it’s kid against kid, me against everybody, and you only remember the parts where you lose and they shove you in the locker.”[/i]
That is a [i]very[/i] interesting idea.
15. PT Barnum | April 2nd, 2011 at 1:52 pm
So, a soldier comes back in uniform and his first day a drunken lout makes fun of him.
The villagers all thinks it’s a good joke.
And the soldier is FORBIDDEN from beating the day-lights out of the animal. And that’s dead true. If he some much as raised his hand to that animal, every single villager would have gone insane with rage.
Making fun of the animal back would have also enraged the animals. Perhaps you’ve never seen that, but they get made would you talk back to a animal, oh yes they do.
Yeah, that’s uniquely American. It’s the English seriousness about “humor”. That is cruelty. But only towards those the Bosses have deemed acceptable targets.
16. bud | April 2nd, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I must concur that memories of childhood bullying are the most painful ones. I remember the high school reunion where I still hated the people who picked on me as kids. I don’t think it is exclusive to Americans. I think it is just a function of the fact that as children we are so impressionable to our environment that anything carrying some significant emotional weight makes a permanent mark. I think it is just a cultural thing. Maybe Americans feel more of a need to express their childhood insults than the peoples you have been reading about. I remember when I was a kid and everything was magic. Then everytime something hurt the world lost some of its magic. Until one day I woke up and while the world was just as shitty as before, the pain wasn’t there anymore, but neither was the magic. I think that was when I became an adult.
17. JS1234 | April 2nd, 2011 at 3:22 pm
“If it was just me I’d write it off”
No you wouldn’t, Mr. Dolan. As you describe in Pleasant Hell, you’re still hung up on that chick who dumped you way back when. You haven’t gotten over it, and you never stop talking about the chicks who ignored you back in Berkeley.
Everyone should read Mr. Brecher/Mr Dolan’s article in the latest American Conservative: http://www.amconmag.com/blog/the-littlest-invasions/
18. TrDem55 | April 2nd, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Sam Grant, the history books (southern inspired) called him a butcher, well Sam Grant and William T. Sherman (aka Uncle Billy) knew the only way to stop the war was to Win It…that they proceeded to do.
McClellan was an organizer, but NOT a decent general. Grant finished his autobiography at a cottage on the Jersey Shore (we don’t call it a beach) and died shortly thereafter from cancer …Hero Patriot
19. José Cruz | April 2nd, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Good insights.
20. dfasd | April 2nd, 2011 at 6:30 pm
If we’re going to wax rhapsodic about when we became war nerds, I’ll have to throw in the Mexican American war. The wartime engineering involved in the taking of Mexico City is a dream to read about
21. Pilot MKN | April 2nd, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Grant burned my hometown to the ground (Oxford, MS)along with numerous others during the Civil War….I’d hardly call that man a ‘great American’. He’s got more dead civilian blood on his hands than Gaddafi could ever dream of.
22. Neil Templeton | April 2nd, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Childhood cruelty is part and parcel of learning caste, and for the most part it works well to teach children their proper place…until you start a real fight with real consequences…then you need to drag up a graduate from the pummeled lower caste to finish your fight for you.
23. swr | April 2nd, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Grant won battles in every theater of the Civil War. Lee only won in Virginia.
Both times Lee ventured out of his home state, at Antietam and at Gettysburg, he got his ass kicked.
Grant is, hands down, the greatest general America’s ever produced. He won in Kentucky and Tenessee. He won in Missippi. He cut his supply lines and flanked Vickburg. He rushed to Chatanooga after the Union Army lost at Chickamauga, opened up the “cracker line” and beat the rebels at Missionary Ridge.
He had a damned hard time beating Lee in Virginia. But Lee WAS a great general, was on his home turf, and had been fortifying Virginia for four years. He knew the state like the back of his hand.
And yet, even though Grant had his worst brain fart of his career, the Battle of Cold Harbor, he still checkmated Lee in a little over a year.
Grant was greater than Sherman, greater than Lee, greater than Stonewall Jackson.
The south had some decent generals. Longstreet was sound. PGT Beauregard was imaginative and decisive. Joe Johston, the George Meade of the south, was a good defensive general.
The north had some decent generals. Thomas was sound. Hancock was a blowhard, but brave. Reynolds save the day at Gettyburg. Meade was an underrated defensive genius who not only beat Lee at Gettysburg, but beat him in any number of nasty little rearguard actions in Northern Virginia.
But Grant reigns supreme. He also gave promise of being a great politician. Stealing McLernand’s army was pure genius. But, alas, he failed as President.
24. Rev. Clint | April 2nd, 2011 at 10:44 pm
In 1854 Grant got so shit faced Robert Buchanan made him resign the Army while stationed just down the street from me at Fort Humboldt. About the most interesting thing to happen up here… ever.
25. Alex MKD | April 3rd, 2011 at 3:48 am
“Maybe it’s because in other places there’s “authority” to push against, and the kids band together against it”
It seemed to me (when I was a kid) that was the case in ex-Yugoslavia where it was usualy kids vs the school.
26. EuroTrip | April 3rd, 2011 at 4:11 am
yawn..watching grass grow is more interesting than reading this. How about something fun like Hulagu’s sack of Baghdad or Guderians Panzer invasion of France. Anything but this Oprah-Winfrey shit. Please WarNerd (or whoever is in charge of spewing out this stuff).
27. Gohn Jalt | April 3rd, 2011 at 4:51 am
“…here it’s kid against kid, me against everybody…”
Ain’t that the great American dream, Nerdo? Fuck your brother for a nickel? Sell your Momma for a dime? Yee haw. Makes me proud.
28. mikey | April 3rd, 2011 at 10:28 am
Thanks for the link to Grant’s memoirs. I read it last year after you recommended it. What I got out of it was that Grant’s experience as a quartermaster and his Mexican War experience was the combination that won the Civil War. If he had been in charge sooner the war would have been much shorter.
Another good post! Thanks again and please keep it up.
29. rager | April 3rd, 2011 at 10:35 am
That period almost seems like the Flintstones to me.
30. cokesack | April 3rd, 2011 at 11:48 am
Agreed — Soooo tired of the ‘Merikan civil war.
Why do those USers not perform accurate re-enactments? Remember, over half of all deaths during the war about slavery were caused by diahrea.
Let’s see a giant shitfest of grey and blue drowning in their own feces. That’s how Lower Jesusland really began.
31. Jesse the Scout | April 3rd, 2011 at 1:26 pm
I don’t know if it’s a failure to get over past offenses so much as it’s the unhappy realization that people in general have a senselessly hateful side that never goes away. What you’re describing sounds as much like some one dispirited by humanity as anything which is not an uncommon response to living through such times.
As for why it’s different in the US than elsewhere, maybe we just have nothing to project it all on. We aren’t hungry, we don’t have a dictatorship beating and torturing, we see that people become more civil to an extent when their needs are met but the pettiness and the hate never die. We don’t assume people would be better if X were gone, because there is no X here to blame.
Look at Libya and all this mideast revolutiony stuff lately. Does any one think sunshine candy town is really right over the hill? People can blame despotic regimes for all their woes, but just as in places like Iraq and Afghanistan as soon as the first wave of “bad guys” are out it’s time to turn on each other and keep it going.
32. Eddie | April 3rd, 2011 at 2:11 pm
@bud
The end part there is pure poetry.
Yet as adults we continue dreaming about that big chase. That big War that we probably will never experience.
“Every Generation Needs a New Revolution” Thomas Jefferson once wrote.
I hope to God that ours will not be the twitter/facebook/social network kind.
33. RobertD | April 3rd, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I’ve always been puzzled by the weird American obsession with high school. It’s like it’s considered the most significant period of your lives or something. All those movies you have about the tightly delineated high school hierarchy. Americans are in love with all that shit. It’s like you can never put your high school days behind you.
Elsewhere in the world, high school is just something you have to sit through before real life begins. It doesn’t have the same kind of special significance. You just do your time and then move on.
Maybe American schools just have a more pervasive culture. There seems to be much more of a concerted effort to offset the kids against each other, divide everything starkly between winners and losers.
Yeah, you get that elsewhere too, but I’m not sure if it’s as deeply entrenched as it is in America.
34. Jesse the Scout | April 4th, 2011 at 3:35 am
I suppose in the US high school (and education in general) does have a sort of mythological aspect to it. We get told from early on our future will be made or broken by how we do in school. That way once you’re fat, 40, and have 2 kids and some crappy 30k a year paper pushing job you can wistfully dream that things could have been different somehow.
35. Eddie | April 4th, 2011 at 7:10 am
Why would you even care about what a bunch of teenagers thought. The teenage phase is littered with stupid decisions and a complete lack of self insight. No honest man can claim that period of his life as anything other then a (fun|exciting|depressing|stupid) hormone filled period of his life.
You basically try everything out for the first time and notice what works and what doesn’t.
My most vivid memories are from all that crappy music and stupid clothing. Then you have girls that don’t put out and hysteric parents that keep nagging about all that shit you where suppose to do but never really bothered with. If I could name any period of my life that was the least satisfying to me looking back at it, it would probably be that.
36. RPG Cunthair | April 5th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Yeah. First high school and then their fucking college. The fucking decal on the back of the car. Then fucking high school reunions to find out if the girls that got fucked are still fuckable. Then the movies and fucking TV shows about high school and college. Then alumni giving money to college football and basketball teams and cunty cheerleaders. Jeesus fucking christ, someone shoot me.
37. Andy | April 7th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I’ve been reading Mark Twain’s newly published autobiography Vol. 1, and the entire first quarter of it seems centered around his experiences with Grant, helping him raise money to pay off his debts, a testemonial about the various strokes of fortune which struck him. Twain was also impressed with Grant’s writings. Theres much information here you would find interesting, overwhelmingly favorable of the General Myself, I begin to wonder if the alledged financial crimes pulled over him by a vanishing-act villian arn’t simply a ready made, no-proof-necessary excuse so he woulnd’t have to explain drinking and gambling away his fortune.
Also, I have to confess, I don’t ‘get’ the laudability of the General with the genius who figured out that for generals who coulnd’t out-general an out-numbered, starved, and ill-equipted enemy, you could just murder your own men in unrelenting attack, such that your own men called you “The butcher”, and, eventually he supposed, the enemy would run out before you did. Good thing for Grant the North had a draft! Enjoy your writing none-the less.
38. CensusLouie | April 7th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Man, that’s just some severely misguided U.S. hate to say our civil war was boring and unimportant.
Unimportant? It was the re-introduction of the idea of total warfare after such warfare had gone out of style for centuries starting from around the rise of Christianity. It also had the added twist of being the first such war of the industrial age. First major use of railroads in war. So many, many firsts.
Saying it was unimportant is like saying WW2 wasn’t noteworthy because it “only” took place in the Eastern hemisphere, or the Roman empire “boring” because it was mostly in Europe.
39. Aardwolf | May 13th, 2011 at 5:08 am
Well, when I was attending public school in late 80s and early 90s in Poland bullying was something almost completely unknown.
The only case observed was the first day of high school when older students poured water on one of my friends when he was in restroom. Just this one case nobody worried about.
Maybe it is about women (polish women are one of the easiest women in the galaxy – you do not need to bully anybody to get one).
40. gary | June 6th, 2011 at 9:27 pm
you all must be young…i am an old fart of 65 and one of the good thing about gtting old is i can barely remember high school…not that i ever gave it much thought anyway
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