Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The Rev. Fred Phelps is a good Calvinist; no more, no less. All that separates him from America’s other hundred million Calvinist heretics is that Phelps has the courage of his…
Posted on: September 12th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps
Today’s Defendant: Camille Paglia Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We learn with sorrow that Paglia has called this venal bumpkin, Sarah Palin, “the greatest feminist since Madonna.” Paglia’s fall has long concerned the Holy Inquisition, and the time has come…
Posted on: September 11th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: Paglia-tory
Today’s Defendant: Randy Pausch, America’s Favorite Corpse Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Professor Pausch’s “Last Lecture” is already forgotten by the Oprah fans who leaked cheap tears at his televised death, this middlebrow false martyr. They ask little of a…
Posted on: September 10th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: Randy Pausch, America’s Favorite Corpse
Today’s Defendant: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we have the joyous task of elevating the late Kathryn Johnston, of Altanta, Georgia, to sainthood. Saint Kathryn found glory in November 2006, at the age…
Posted on: September 9th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr
Today’s Defendant: White Trash Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we must prune a vile weed spreading over what was once a beautiful continent: white trash. It is with heavy heart we pronounce sentence, for we are survivors of Berkeley,…
Posted on: September 8th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: White Trash