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Dispatch / August 24, 2009
By Tal Sutsa


Memphis, Tennessee lives way outside any law. Black, Hispanic, and neo-Nazi street gangs control neighborhoods throughout the city with no cops allowed in, not that most people would want them around. The downtown area has a higher concentration of deranged homeless than yuppie condo dwellers, crack pipes are sold next to the cash register in gas stations and nobody flinched earlier this year when a car bomb went off across the river.

Last January, Apple CEO Steve Jobs, one of America’s leading vampires, flapped into town and roosted on a house in a very gated, old-colonial neighborhood within the Memphis city limits. Despite a lifestyle sometimes closer to Kinshasa than Kansas, there are still a few pockets of neighborhoods around the city where rich folks aren’t afraid to say they’re from, with a few qualifications and explanations of course. These are largely people who, for whatever reason, didn’t bail to the sprawling suburbs during white flight and who now mostly employ 24/7 security staffs. These neighborhoods have always reminded me of the Frenchmen in Apocalypse Now, REDUX still claiming their land and wanting their colonies back. Hey, at least there’s a certain pride in that.

But, that seems to be the only prideful action anywhere here or in the rest of the States from what I can tell. The sickly Jobs owned that house long enough for him to become a Tennessee resident where the waiting list for a liver transplant is 48 days compared to over 300 on average in the rest of the country.  He needed that liver, and he needed it now; and there just aren’t enough organs available in the promised land of California where he made his billions.  He had to cross over into the land of the desperate, delusional and impoverished – the South, a land so poor that it now gets manufacturing jobs that used to be outsourced to Mexico and the Pacific rim of Asia.


Need a liver? Buy this house. Steve Jobs did

For me, the first thought that came to mind was the marginally popular play Harvest by Manjula Padmanabhan that any post-colonial student from the past few years probably has read.  In that play, rich Westerners exploit the hopeless, option-less existences of below-the-equator brown people to exchange a few months of relative, subaltern comfort for the promise to give all their body parts away to the living dead rich of the first world who need them to ensure the continued survival of their species, as they have forsaken sex and reproduction for fear of having to share their wealth with subsequent generations (sound familiar?). It seems Ms. Padmanabhan got the concept right but her geography and pathetically susceptive cultures wrong as no one around here even batted an eye at an oligarch sweeping into Tennessee like a vampire and sucking up an organ he didn’t earn and didn’t deserve anymore than the next, hopefully still insured, schmuck in line.

Consider the Memphis area reader responses to when the news first broke in the local newspaper.  The majority of readers comments either criticize the newspaper for publishing the address of the house Jobs was squatting in (and had long since abandoned) or discuss how great it is for something “positive” about Memphis to finally receive play in the media. Yes, really. Don’t get pissed about the oligarch stealing the liver that your next door neighborhood has been rightfully waiting for and needed just as badly as Jobs, get pissed because we now know the location of the cave where the vampire was hanging upside-down from in-between blood sucking sessions.


Memphis slave shack

As if there was any doubt about this sick, corporate, customer-service peasant mentality permeating all matters of public and private discourse, it was confirmed a few days later by what passes for a provincial intelligentsia. As this just-happy-to-be-here columnist tells us, Memphis should be proud for “saving (a life)” and for a story that “had a happy ending.” Yea, happy for everyone except the lifelong Tennessee residents and tax payers who had to wait just a little bit longer for that new liver. He even has the gall to say the Jobs transplant highlights one of the best things about our city — its exceptional health care.”

Don’t get me wrong, there are some great medical facilities in Memphis, and there are even options for the uninsured (though I doubt a liver transplant would be one of them). But at the same hospital where Jobs got his transplant, I spent six hours waiting in the emergency room for a neck X-ray after a football injury last fall.  Maybe if I was an oligarch I could have just bought an X-ray machine or, better yet, the non-herniated disks out of some plebe’s neck.  He probably would have thanked me for the honor and apologized for the inconvenience.

Sure, Jobs had a great time in Memphis, but what about everyone else who lives in this “city filled with poverty, illiteracy and despair . . . where violent crime is rampant”?

It’s clear now that Americans have reached a level of willful brainwashing that would embarrass North Koreans. Your average Red State’r has more in common with homo sovieticus than he does with the image he imagines in the mirror every morning of a ready-and-willing gun wielder and beneficiary of the capitalist freedom that only America could possibly enjoy.

In Harvest, the despondent natives at least raise the moral issues and even make a token resistance to the blood suckers. Middle America, on the other hand, is happy to give its organs away to the wealthy elite who “deserve it” just like the oligarchs who “deserve” bailouts, multi-million dollar bonuses and the strings to the American economy and government.

In the U.S.A.’s sick, wanna-be Soviet, corporate culture, the plebes are just happy to help out and do their part in keeping the vampires healthy enough to keep sucking blood until there’s no blood left.

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Add your own

  • 1. wengler  |  August 25th, 2009 at 12:57 am

    Tell them they can keep their guns and they will give you everything in return. I would be more interested in knowing why Tennessee’s waiting list is so much less than everyone else. I mean is it temperance-loving combined with ghetto and backwoods killin’?

  • 2. SweetLeftFoot  |  August 25th, 2009 at 2:27 am

    Great, great piece.

  • 3. WE  |  August 25th, 2009 at 6:03 am

    I’m kind of curious what makes Jobs one of America’s leading vampires? I mean outside of class resentment which I am guilty of as well, I cannot see what Jobs has done to irk you outside of being successful. There are plenty of vampires in America, the Health Care Industry, the Oil Industry, Blackwater, Haliburton, the list goes on, but I never really saw Jobs as a part of that, though perhaps your privy to some knowledge that I’m not.

  • 4. Stephen Cook  |  August 25th, 2009 at 7:01 am

    Oh, please don’t tell me that you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you were in the same situation as Jobs. This article frankly bothers me because I’m one of the suck-ups who looks out for our oligarchs’ interests.

  • 5. Aaron  |  August 25th, 2009 at 9:05 am

    “I would be more interested in knowing why Tennessee’s waiting list is so much less than everyone else.”

    Partly because people get killed a lot in Memphis.

    Y’all, Jobs is no better or worse than any of his ilk, particularly. That’s the whole fuckin’ point: whether they’re polite oligarchs or vicious oligarchs, they’re still fuckin’ oligarchs, and the polite ones are only covering their viciousness anyway. Stop licking the shit out of their assholes and start fucking thinking, why don’t you?

  • 6. Whatever666  |  August 25th, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Great piece, though it’s hard to actually hate Steve Jobs (as opposed to an investment bank or oil company CEO), even armed with these facts. Just gotta love those pretty, shiny, ipods and mac books he’s given us (well…those of us with disposable income).

    On a more serious note, it strikes me that you definitely don’t need to be an “oligarch”, per se, to do what Jobs did.

    Any low-level millionaire (net investible assets, excluding real estate, from $1-5 million, say) could do the same thing. Just rent / buy a decent suburban condo townhouse or single-family 3-bedroom…and convalesce until you get your residency. TN living has got to be pretty cheap, regardless.

    So this option is open for members of the top quartile of the upper middle class and those who reside in “Lower Richistan,” so to speak.

    As for the lower middle and working classes (and below)…well, all of these people are fucked anyway…so they may as well offer up their organs in lieu of having little else of value.

  • 7. Jess  |  August 25th, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Anyone who actually cared about the plight of those waiting for liver transplants would be an activist for remunerated LDLTs. That is, paying healthy people for half of their healthy liver.

    No one actually cares about those poor schmucks, though, so you get this kind of class-envy crap instead.

  • 8. class resentment  |  August 25th, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    Okay, I agree with 90% of the stuff on Exiled, but this is over the top. What has Jobs ever done to make him a “vampire”? This is totally ridiculous, you seem to despise him just because he is successful. Do you have something against successful people? Geez, who wouldn’t move to a different state to get a liver when the alternative is dying. Any reasonable person would do this. What a hypocrite.

  • 9. Nolan  |  August 25th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Haha at people sticking up for Jobs in the comments like he’s an old friend. It just shows how much Americans value their rich, regardless of their own plight.

  • 10. jobsliver  |  August 25th, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Out come the sad little apple fanbois. Jobs is an egomaniacal dbag. He produces nothing but gas and is nothing but an attention whore. Your precious Iphone did not emerge from his mangina. He is not the womb of all Iproducts. His EMPLOYEES do the heavy lifting, creating, engineering, etc. He is a conductor not the musician or composer. The man burned out his liver doing drugs and jumped to the front of the organ line by buying a house in a poor state. His career is rife with examples of using people, who can produce, to get where he is. The way in which he procured his shiny new liver is ABSOLUTELY illustrative of vampire oligarchs. To the fanbois, keep flapping those gums, your excreta breath warns all of your approach.

  • 11. Micah  |  August 25th, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Uh-oh, Tal. Looks like you upset the Apple fanboys. If you had done this article about any other sickly member of the oligarchy we would all be solemnly agreeing with you. But no, you had to go after Steve Jobs, he who brought us all our favorite, shiny, candy-colored, overpriced iAccessories. Don’t hate on his success!

  • 12. WE  |  August 25th, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    I’m not a fanboy and I have no love of the rich, I just think that some of your comments are too reductionist. It’s reasonable to assume that even among the wealthy there are variations. I don’t really care if Jobs is an egomaniac, what matters are things like human rights abuses, environmental degradation, bribery, any form of market manipulation or political corruption, you get the point. If someone called Eric Prince a vampire, I’d have no problem with that, his malfeasance is documented. I haven’t exactly seen Jobs profiting off of war, political connections or tragedy. He helped create one of the first PCs and he became successful, there’s not exactly blood on his hands. You have to be selective about rhetoric, you know, diminishing returns and all.

  • 13. FOARP  |  August 25th, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    If I had a cool million in the bank and a clapped out liver I might do the same, but I don’t. I worked at the place where the iPhone, iPod and iMac are made (no, not Apple, go Google “Foxconn”), so let me tell you: Apple now is no more than good marketing, and ultra-cheap Chinese labour that works long hours for low pay.

  • 14. Micah  |  August 25th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Have you considered why the waiting list in Tennessee might be so short? Could it be that some people who need livers aren’t even on the list?

    Perhaps his past actions aren’t so egregious. Unless you have a problem with Apple employing cheap & exploitative Chinese laborers who have such an oppressive working environment that when one of them lost an iPhone prototype he was beaten and intimidated until he committed suicide. Afterwards they, of course, still charge a price commensurate with what they would charge if they produced the iPhone in the First World. Surely that counts as human rights abuse.

    We’re not talking about the past though, we’re talking about what he’s doing right now. Right now he is benefiting from the poverty of Tennesseans, plain & simple.

  • 15. Fissile  |  August 25th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    As corporate monsters go, Jobs has masterfully positioned himself as the handsome slick Dracula to Gates’ brutish Frankenstein. This is why so many hipster dweebs love him, they can’t believe someone so “nice and hip” could possibly be bad. To them, appearances are everything. Make no mistake about it, the one with nice manners is infinitely more dangerous. Pay not attention to the casket in the basement.

    Jobs started out in his “career” by ass raping the idiot-savant, Steve Wozniak. Wozniak has a lot in common with the late George Sodini, technically capable, but socially retarded, he was easy meat for the likes of Jobs. Fact is that Wozniak designed the Apple I and II computers entirely by himself. Jobs wouldn’t know a capacitor if it bit him on his ass.

    For his next trick, Jobs stole the idea for a Graphical User Interface (GUI) from Xerox PARC — Xerox apparently never got around to patenting the idea. The GUI concept was in turn stolen by Gates. Jobs turned around and sued Gates for stealing the “look and feel” of Apple’s GUI!

    Yup, Jobs is a nice corporate criminal and can help himself to my peasant body parts whenever he needs to.

    The average American deserves whatever he gets.

  • 16. Rosa  |  August 25th, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Is Memphis really that bad? I might be moving there in the fall. What is the best part of the city proper to live in? Is there anywhere you can get along without a car?

    Oh, and Apple sucks ass. I just took a bunch of extraneous crap Apple stuck on my computer during an iTunes update (I occasionally download free stuff) that was slowing my computer down. I don’t have a iPod, I don’t need all that shit, thanks. Bonjour my ass.

  • 17. adolphhitler  |  August 25th, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    kill all the vampires while there’s still time!

  • 18. adolphhitler  |  August 25th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    do their women first

  • 19. porkers-at-the-trough  |  August 25th, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Got to agree with Jess (#7), this article is WAAY bitter.
    And I’m no big fan of Jobs – he has f***ed first Apple clone-makers, then independent retailers, and always teens & on-a-budget types who have to pay twice as much for an Apple as they can get a decent Windows computer for (I’ve got both, and I use the MS machines almost exclusively – and I got tired of waiting for an i-phone on another carrier, so I got a Pre.)
    That said, THE FAR, FAR, FAR larger problem is… DEAD PEOPLE TAKING THEIR GOOD ORGANS to the rotting-pit (grave) with them!
    As Thom Hartmann says, “Making Organ Donation an OPT OUT, instead of OPT IN” choice (on driver’s licenses, living wills, etc.) WOULD OVERNIGHT SOLVE the organ donation problem!!

    So, Exiled (this article is SO “typically Exiled” that I GOTTA wonder, “is Tal Sutsa ANOTHER pseudonym?”) – the sad, sorry fact is – your middle/lower/bottom income Memphis, Tennessee (or ANY where else in Americastan) “losers” are EVERY BIT AS MUCH TO BLAME for the ORGAN CRISIS – and DEAD PATIENTS who don’t get organs – as the elites who manipulate them!!
    (in the name of “Moral Values” and “stability” & “order,” of course.)

  • 20. gary  |  August 25th, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    sticks and stones will break jobs bones but he stil has more money than all of us put together

  • 21. jester l  |  August 25th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    You know what’s also disturbing: how progressives out-do each other in red baiting to get more credibility. The Soviet Union is not what we wanted, but Soviet Homicus was supposed to be a class concious intellectual, not a happy-gazing pleb like you depict the Memphis folk.
    Why do we always have to acknowledge hack historians, with their every increasing body counts (such as Conquest), when we make social commentary.
    I’m a mid-range professional with a low six-figure income that has more flexibility then most professions; however, I hate my job and the insecurity I have. My state board has just required all in my profession to rat out others, under pain of license suspension. I have several bosses because my profession has been completely corporatized and returns are lowering because of insurance company monopolies. I also have to deal with the general public who can barely wipe their ass.
    Neo-Stalinism, though not the future, doesent seem so bad now.

  • 22. limaxophobiac  |  August 25th, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    I don’t know how US taxes work, but doesn’t Jobs becomming a resident of Memphis, even for a short time, mean that for that time he paid taxes there? Seeing as he probably earned more money during that time than most Memphis residents do in their whole lives, he’d have as much ‘right’ to at as those lifelong Tennessee residents you talk about.

    He’s still an asshole, but that’s for other reasons.

  • 23. limaxophobiac  |  August 25th, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    I’ll also go further than porkers-at-the-trough and say that any fucktard who doesn’t donate (except of course if due to medical reasons his organs would be no good) shouldn’t get any organs.

  • 24. subzero  |  August 26th, 2009 at 1:05 am

    And I think that people who DO donate shouldn’t get any organs if they one day needed them.

  • 25. Nosuchthingasshould  |  August 26th, 2009 at 2:02 am

    To all those ‘when will the revolution finally start?’ and ‘will the masses never wake up?’ lamenters: stop waiting for the masses.
    Those people who post here in defence of the rich , quite representative of the masses, worship power. They are the ones who set themselves up as kids by sucking up to the bully, instinctively and without even thinking about it.
    This is human nature and they are the actual silent majority. If you are the scary man, the bully, they will kiss your ass just as they are kissing the ass of the oligarch.
    Just start killing the rich, and soon you will see that you actualy have a fanbase in some of those same people who were defending them.

  • 26. Erdem  |  August 26th, 2009 at 3:59 am

    “A killer with the manners of a rabbit, that’s the most dangerous kind”

    from Dune

  • 27. Whatever666  |  August 26th, 2009 at 6:30 am

    Again: You do NOT have to be an “oligarch” to do what Jobs did. Not even close.

    ANY member of the country’s top 3% or better – upper middle class / low-level millionaires – could do what Steve Jobs did in relative comfort. Rent / buy a reasonable suburban condo or single-family home. Convalesce quietly in low-cost TN until you get the basic residency reqs filled.

    This is NOT a “tycoon raping America” story. This is potentially about the broader haves and have-nots.

    DOn’t get me wrong, I don’t give a rat’s ass about Steve Jobs either way at the end of the day. But by the same token, since this story is – at best – about the broader haves and have-nots…well, I don’t really give a flying fuck about the working and lower middle classes either.

    Let’s face facts: Those people were always going to be fucked regardless.

  • 28. gatorade  |  August 26th, 2009 at 6:51 am

    SJ skullfucks the media into making ipod sound like the only way to play music. He sells “lunchbox with an apple” and calls it a laptop. He twists arms of suppliers into exclusive contracts depriving his competitors of oxygen. Jobs is the hitler of the high tech industry. Thaks for the great article!!

  • 29. Mads Mikkelsen  |  August 26th, 2009 at 9:13 am

    The whole reason buying and selling organs is outlawed is so supposedly the rich don’t have an easier time getting them.

    This just goes to show you that no matter how much you try to fuck the rich with laws, they can always fuck you back.

    Anarchy in the USA!

  • 30. Khakjaan  |  August 26th, 2009 at 10:34 am

    Oh come on, you speak as if the wealthy never broke the taboo of bodily sanctity before. Once again, ‘respectable’ lit mines genre ghettos: Robert Silverberg wrote a story on this back in 1973 called ‘Caught in the Organ Draft.’ The way it has manifested itself in our timeline is different from the one envisaged, but it has still come to pass. Time for a new horror, this one’s stale.

    The poor are always ready to please their masters; they have a misguided sense of how to climb the social ladder. What’s new here? The Jobs insight– that’s good, but cheap indignation doesn’t go anywhere. This article is simply an illustrative point in a larger thesis you haven’t formulated yet.

  • 31. Jess  |  August 26th, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    @porkers: ‘“Making Organ Donation an OPT OUT, instead of OPT IN” choice (on driver’s licenses, living wills, etc.) WOULD OVERNIGHT SOLVE the organ donation problem!!’

    Maybe if we were starting from a zero state, but we already have tens of thousands of people waiting for organs. There just aren’t that many potential donors given our current eligibility rules (roughly, those who become brain-dead while in a hospital are eligible to donate organs, if we leave out the TINY percentage of organs donated by caring relatives). That’s why we should allow adults of sound mind to sell their own organs. THAT would solve the problem quickly, once hospitals ramped up their transplant capacities.

    It would help for livers most of all, since they grow back. Many people would be more hesitant to sell a kidney, but maybe that just means the price would be higher. We could still leave the currently eligible donors in the “it’s free, but you’ll have to wait 7 years” pool. After all, we don’t want your heirs to profit from your “accidental” death!

  • 32. limaxophobiac  |  August 27th, 2009 at 10:00 am

    It boggles the mind how the same people who cheer for Dolans articles on how we’re all nothing but dying animals cry about “the taboo of bodily sanctity” or some such stupid shit. It’s flesh/meat, not any different from what you buy at the supermarket.

  • 33. right  |  August 28th, 2009 at 1:26 am

    I never let the general public know that I read The Exile, because I was embarrassed about some of the dumb stuff (the good stuff was all either Russia-related or War Nerd). A fucking good thing, because now I’m not just embarrassed–I’m ashamed.

    Steve Jobs is all that is right with America and with humanity. His continued life is worth the entire state of Kansas. Can the entire state of Kansas be on the cutting edge of the industry that defined a century? No, they can’t. All they can do is grow corn and cannon-fodder. Fuck them all in their asses. I’d give Tal Sutsa’s liver, and all his children’s livers, for an extra month of Steve Jobs’s working life, and I’d have them extracted without anaesthesia.

    The Exile, back in its good days, taught me to do opiates. So far so good, but nobody else that I respect(ed) thinks it’s a good idea, so as you guys are sliding into idiocy (the worst kind, at that–bitter idiocy), it makes me a little worried for myself in that regard.

  • 34. Lev  |  August 28th, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    I do not understand why Steve Jobs is on the same level as irresponsible bankers.

    Why are you such a communist? What is wrong with Steve Jobs making a fortune from a tech company that provides great products to consumers? How is it immortal for him to use his wealth to better his own health? How does some low-life shmuck deserve as much as he does? low-life poor shmucks don’t matter, Steve Jobs does. It’s a fact of life, and not some evil conspiracy.

  • 35. General Foods  |  August 29th, 2009 at 12:25 am

    If you wrote this article on a Mac, you owe Steve Jobs some tasty liver juice.

  • 36. ecofeco  |  August 30th, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    You have problem with Corporate Communist Capitalism©®™, comrades?

    Maybe time in financial Siberia change your mind, yes?

  • 37. Concerned Citizen  |  September 2nd, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    I would do the same thing if I had the same assets as Jobs.

    For all those who wouldn’t–well, that’s why you’re at the bottom and I’m at the top. Survival of the fittest–the weak will make way for the strong.

  • 38. floop  |  September 6th, 2009 at 6:01 am

    when wozniak left apple he was worth 45 million, god knows what that apple stock is worth today. hardly an ‘ass raping.’ and as far as xerox park, steve jobs paid xerox to let apple employees working on the mac and lisa operating system to “study/preview” their work on the ‘gui.’ he may have ‘stole’ the idea from xerox, but it was in full agreement with xerox. get your facts straight fissle.

  • 39. Dago Red  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:12 am

    The comments from the Apple faithful – big, wet, toothless blow Jobs – are hilarious. Substitute Bill Gates and you’d hear the same hyenas demanding that he return the liver to its proper owner. Kind of puts a dent in the effete, closeted Mac owners’ mantra that Apple is Good, Microsoft is Bad.

  • 40. mary  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Man, you are a resentful guy, aren’t you? The rich are all the baddies and everyone should be a socialist. Your attitude is to put it bluntly–BAD.

    If there’s a possibility a person who is dying can live, and they are smart, then they will find the way. If in TN, you only have to way 48 days for a transplant, then who wouldn’t do what Jobs did?

    You’re just a big whiner. You don’t have what Jobs has–smarts, creativity, drive, and determination. Jobs started building computers in a garage. What are you doing to help the world?

  • 41. Craig  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    What did Steve Jobs do that was illegal with regard to his liver transplant? nothing. You people condemning him are just angry because he is so much smarter than you.

  • 42. Mads Mikkelsen  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    At least he’s grateful.
    The 54-year-old CEO discussed his operation, which took place about five months ago, for the first time. Jobs, who went on a 5 1/2-month medical leave in January, was wearing his trademark blue jeans and black turtleneck.

    “I now have the liver of a mid-20s person who died in a car crash and was generous enough to donate their organs,” Jobs said. “I wouldn’t be here without such generosity.”

  • 43. R E Hendrix  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    To Rosa,

    NO, Memphis is THAT bad!! I have lived here for a total of about 35 years. I have also lived in many other parts of the country in both large cities & small towns. This story is right on the money, written by a person that knows of what he speaks…

  • 44. Drunken Economist  |  September 27th, 2009 at 4:42 am

    Ah, but that’s the USA all over.

    We reward and worship sleazy SOBs like Jobs who steal and backstab their way to the top.

    And then when we get older, we remember them with fond memories and well wishes.

    When, in fact, like most baby boomers, parasites like jobs should die alone, in the dark, in between diaper changes and then be shoved into the ground in a pine box hold the pine.

    The man is sleaze incarnate. Anyone who’s worked at Apple during his tenure either round one or two can attest to that.

    “The best thing about working for Apple is NOT working for Apple.” attributed to Guy Kawasaki

  • 45. Memphis  |  October 26th, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    My question is, whether or not the author is from here… Tal clearly encapsulated Memphis like a native.

    “I would be more interested in knowing why Tennessee’s waiting list is so much less than everyone else.”

    A LOT of people die here daily. Murder isn’t even news worthy, unless someone got hacked up with a machette or something.

    Welcome to the real world.

    Good article, captures what I try to express to people not from ’round these parts regularly. Funny how no one believes me. Even the infants don’t make it. We’ve twice the national average for infant mortality. Our bus drivers make national news for leaving small children in the vans during the heat of summer, killing them. We have all shapes and sizes of liver for you to choose from.

  • 46. Edmund Dorkey  |  August 26th, 2011 at 6:59 am

    An oldie, but a goodie. Happy birthday, Elvis!

  • 47. dogbane  |  October 5th, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    Welp. There it is.

  • 48. Casey Jones  |  October 5th, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    Been a minute since this hit dropped

  • 49. Jedi Mind Trick  |  October 6th, 2011 at 2:19 am

    That faggot Jobs is dead. Good riddance.

  • 50. Brian W Pucket  |  October 6th, 2011 at 6:49 am

    that is how Hank Williams Jr. came to write his greatest hit, “Indian Giver on a Tennessee Liver.”

    As I recall, it goes something like:

    “Well Mr. Jobs you can keep your speak and spell,
    And you can take your carpet bag on a slow ride straight to hell

    If you northerns want our organs you gotta come by it honestly.
    cause true mountain livers just won’t grow on that Apple tree.

    But you’re an Indian giveeeeeer
    with a Tennessee liver

    Cain’t buy off this country boy with a tarted up gameboy…”

  • 51. Oksana  |  October 6th, 2011 at 11:22 am

    So rich people have more possibilities than the poor? Who knew?
    Maybe that’s part of the reason why people want to get rich, maybe that’s part of the drive for success and accomplishment.
    Take away the material rewards of work, and you get a wrecked society of unmotivated leeches.

    Steve Jobs didn’t get rich without a reason, and neither did Bill Gates for that matter, and unless they break the law they are free to do with their wealth whatever they please.

    Commies will keep whining, of course, but nothing new in that.

  • 52. SamR  |  October 6th, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Shorter Oksana: Its awesome that rich people can steal livers from the poor–suck it, commies.

    Sure you didn’t mean to spell your name Okhrana? Didn’t know you guys were still around.

  • 53. Tracer  |  October 7th, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Wow. This article is childish and super biased.
    I got really excited about this article because I thought he might have engaged in cannibalism or something interesting or news-worthy. What a let-down this all was.

    I genuinely don’t care about Steve Jobs at all. I’ve never bought anything from him in my entire life and I’ve no interest in licking the shit out of anyone’s asshole.

    But I must say that people do what Steve Jobs did with the liver transplant ALL the time, regardless if they’re rich or poor. It’s not even remotely unheard of having someone in need of a transplant either temporarily moving or buying a house in a state with a shorter list.. it’s not cutting in front of anyone in line, it’s still a line and doesn’t change the core concept… whoever was in line in front of him would have gotten one before him etc. One could liken it to going to a different store with a shorter line instead of waiting at the first place you try.

    ..and how does that make him a vampire??

    And what’s with the bitching about the 6 hour ER wait??? that’s not uncommon either, I just had to wait 6 hours for x rays myself last month, and you know what?? there was no oligarch in need of a transplant for me to blame.. I’m not even sure how an organ transplant would affect the wait on getting x rays.

    this is silly. I don’t care about Steve Jobs.. don’t care about his life, don’t care about his death. I care a little bit more about this terrible article.

  • 54. Jedi Mind Trick  |  October 8th, 2011 at 1:41 am

    It means you got trolled Tracer. You can either wait for a Full House AWWWW or you can give a full throated Furry BAWWWWWWWWW.

  • 55. Frankenstein Government  |  October 8th, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Wow. I always give others the first swing before swinging back.

  • 56. Manko  |  October 8th, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Read Atlas Shrugged, that’s the world we will have if people like Tal Sutsa take over the rule. His motto: Let’s all be equal, that is, equally poor and miserable.

    Tal is an envious hypocrite, just like those in Atlas, and had he had the need and possibility, he’d steal a liver by himself, without even saying thanks.

  • 57. niamh  |  October 8th, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    If you could cut your waiting time for a liver and you could afford to do it, why WOULDN’T you get a place there? It’s not his fault the area is a violent sh!t hole where so many people die young it has lots of organs to transplant – blame the system, not one rich man who used it.

  • 58. colleen  |  March 16th, 2013 at 4:34 pm


    Ayn Rand died taking government assistance (in her own self interest to not wipe out her savings), as most people do, not alone in the woods fighting bears. So much for Atlas Shrugged and ideological fiction meets real life.

    Libertarianism is fine for a youthful phase. Enjoy, but even if you’d have the balls to die alone, I doubt you’d be okay once you see those you love going, especially your kids – should they be dealt a bad hand.

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