Issue #28/83, February 10 - 17, 2000  

Caucasian Just Browsin' Bakhor Country Bar Dioscarius Elegance Guryia Mama Zoya Navrux Suliko U Pirosmani Zolotoye Runo

$$$

Cheers: Outstanding homestyle Uzbek cuisine in a cozy atmosphere; excellent manti and flatbreads; stallion meat aplenty. Rumored to be frequented by the likes of Berezovsky and Gusinsky on weekends, when an above-average musical act and belly dancers are on hand.
Jeers: Hairy blob-like matron who sits by the door seems to attract flies--and hairy, blob-like clientelle. Ridiculous prices, including $30 for kiosk-sold Georgian wine.
M:Marksistskaya
Phone: 911-0116/7181
Address:Tovarischevsky Per. 12
Hours:12.00 - until the last client leaves

$

Cheers:The Sunday (served 11.00 - 20.00 only) Ethiopian menu is not to be missed. Thick 'n spicy meat and vegetable curries served with that delicious spongy pancake stuff; huge combo plate for 65,000 rubles is way more than most individuals can finish off. African barman a dead ringer for Jessie Jackson.
Jeers:The dishes fall a bit short of tasting authentic-the beef sometimes tastes more sloppy joe-ish than Ethiopian. Smoky atmosphere may bother non-smokers.
M:Kurskaya
Phone: 917-2882
Address: Pokrovka 50/2
Hours: Sun-Wed 11.00 - 00.00; Thurs-Sun until 2.00

$

Cheers:eXile alert! Ruble prices have barely inched up post-devaluation, making Dioscarius one of the great bargains anywhere! Cheap as Guriya, but quality closer to a lesser-Suliko. One taste of their red lobio, sturgeon shashlyk, Adzharian khachapuri (with a fried egg in the middle), or eggplant and you'll be hooked. The chef's care and attention to detail is obvious in every dish. The delicious lavash bread comes piping hot and is perfect for sopping up leftover juices.
Jeers: Menu doesn't quite have all the favorites; sometimes the backroom mafia feel is a bit too realistic; building looks like the kind of place your inbred cousin Jethro would live in.
M: Arbatsksya
Phone: 291-3759
Address: Nikitski Bulvar dom 5, str. 1 (through the post office arch off Novy Arbat)
Hours: 11.00-23.00

$$

Cheers: Excellent mid- to upscale Armenian cuisine; the lobio, chef salad, and lamb dishes are delicious; some super grilled items as well. You'll love the super-thin lavash bread. Friendly staff is actually helpful. Largest selection of genuine Armenian cognac in town (24 varieties); great wine list. Homey atmosphere and-hey, get this! A complementary cognac for all!
Jeers: Only German beer (Jever) is available; slightly cheesy decor may remind you of Ivanovo.
M: Kitai-Gorod
Phone: 917-0717
Address: Maly Ivanovsky per. 9
Hours: 12 - 24

$

Cheers: eXile alert! It never burned down, we was wrong! Along with its sister-restaurant, Mama Zoyas, this is the cheapest--and hence, most popular--Georgian food in Moscow. Popular with expats and backpackers; eggplant and khachapuri are musts.
Jeers: They made us look bad by pretending to burn down. Very small portions. You have to drink the counterfeit Georgian wine and pretend you like it; long waits with other expats can be embarrassing. It's like so '93, ya know?
M: Park Kultury
Phone: 246-0378
Address: Komsomolsky Prospect 7/3
Hours: 7-11, 12-14:30, 17:30 - 22:30

$

Cheers:New location is easier to find, larger, and even cheaper than before. While it's certainly one of the best bargains, it doesn't rank all that high in quality.
Jeers:We wouldn't know cuz we steer well clear of the place and its seething bands of Lonely-Planet-toting beigist militants now that we know about the superior offerings elsewhere in town. New, wider restrooms said to be a favorite of Ian "the tank" Schier, who once couldn't squeeze his way out of the miniature toilet at the old location. If you get there after 9, you might not get in. The counterfeit wine still sucks.
M: Kropotkinskaya
Address:Prechistenka
Hours: 12.00 - 00.30

$$$

Cheers:The only place to get authentic Uzbek cuisine in Moscow; if your daughter keeps asking for a pony for her birthday, take her here and order the horse sausage-that'll shut her up; the house salad, lagman (a spicy vegetable soup), pilafs, and shashlyk are all delicious; wacked-out funky decor with cool seat cushions.
Jeers:eXile alert! One of our disgruntled readers complained of having to cough up 21 smackers for a bottle of water, and being threatened by flathead management if they didn't pay, making Narvux a little too authentically Uzbeki for our tastes. Occasionally high flathead factor in the evening; on the first floor of one of Moscow's most unattractive buildings.
M: Dinamo
Phone: 945-0451/0699
Address: ul. Begovaya 36
Hours: 12.00 - 24.00

$$

Cheers:Named "the Best Georgian food in Moscow, '97" by our own Lionel Tannenbaum. Our general counsel, known as a Georgian cuisine snob, gave Suliko two legal pads WAY up! Eerily catchy harmonies of the live vocal quintet put other plaves' entertainment to shame. Super eggplant and that eggboat khachapuri we're growing to love (not to mention a weird one with meat); outstanding shashlyk and thick Georgian lavash. "Genuine" Georgian wine that actually tastes genuine.
Jeers: May be pricing itself right out of business. Is now three times as expensive as Dioscuria, but only marginally better. A glass of Georgian wine says $1.50, but that's for 50g; in fact, it's $6. Naught-naughty!
M:Polyanka
Address: Bolshaya Polyanka 42/2
Hours: 12.00 - 24.00 (or until the last patron leaves)

$$$

Cheers:In terms of dining experiences for tourists, U Pirosmani offers one of the more touristy options: which is say, it's great for tourists; window-side views of the illuminated Novodevichy Convent, tasteful interior and seemingly authentic ethnic violinist; all dishes are reasonably yummy.
Jeers: Don't come here for the food; Bill Clinton accepted campaign donations from the owners, and in return, wrote a glowing review.
M: Sportivnaya
Phone: 247-1926
Address: 4 Novodevichy Proyezd
Hours: 2.00 - 23.00

$$$

Cheers:Not a lot to cheer about except the cheap prices.
Jeers: This place went way, way downhill. Pretty much everything sucked. Had literally the most painful Russo-shite synthy-pop dickhead playing at an eardrum-bursting level that we'd ever heard. We seriously considered violence, but split before it came to that.
M: Novokuznetskaya
Phone: 220-2332
Address: Ulitsa Sadovnichekskaya 14/1 (behind the Baltschug)
Hours: 12.00 - 23.00

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