Issue #28/83, February 10 - 17, 2000 
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| (for one salad, entree, and one cocktail per person) | |||
| $ = up to $15.00 | $$ = $15.00 to $30.00 | $$$ = $30.00 to $50.00 | $$$$ = $50.00 to ? |
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Amarcord
$$
Cheers: Super weekend deals: 50% off the much-lauded antipasti bar and the already bargain-priced (starting at $5) thin-crust pizzas all day Sat./Sun. With Il Pomodoro slipping into obscurity, this place seems to be picking up the trattoria-styled slack and is definitely worth a second look. Now has a second, more intimate room downstairs. Excellent pasta dishes, including some real steals for all you vegetarians out there. Quasi-pop star Lena Zosimova (looking much the worse for drink and who knows what else) occasionally spotted here.
Jeers:Non-pasta entrees still only so-so. Bizarre pricing defies the laws of quantum physics (e.g., a dessert that costs $14 ought to come with a blowjob at the end, or at least some booze in it). Disappointing wine selection, including way overpriced Chianti in those straw-covered bottles that were big in the '70s.
M:Okhotny Ryad
Phone: 292-0673
Address: Kamergersky per.5/6
Hours: 12.00 - 00.00
Artistico
$$$
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Jeers:Chef could use a little more umph in his cooking.
M:Okhotny Ryad
Phone: 292-0673
Address: Kamergersky per.5/6
Hours: 12.00 - 00.00
Dorian Gray
$$$$
Cheers: Without a doubt, the finest Croat-run Italian joint in all the world! Superb soups and prosciutto e melone; kick-ass spicy arrabiatta and truffle menu rocked Lionel's world. Pasta that's truly al dente; even the ravioli are good. Luxurious tiramisu is the only one in town worth ordering; or try the "hot dessert" (warm forest berries in cream) for a lighter treat. The luxurious tiramisu is the only one in town worth ordering. Principled Sicilian chef comes from a long line of idealistic Commies--hey, we gotta admire that! Prices reduced somewhat post-crisis (although still expensive to be sure). Good coffee, and a great location to boot.
Jeers:Recent eXile staff banquet said to have sent property values in the area sprawling. Stingy portions; even with the reduction, the prices still ain't exactly affordable. Sadly, shoot-em-up bloodbaths seem to be a thing of the past. Frequented by Nikita Mikhalkov--and his mustache.
M: Tretyakovskaya
Phone: 237-6313
Address: Kadashevskaya Nab. 6/1
Hours: 10.00 - 10.00
Figaro
$$$
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Jeers:Rumor has it that our favorite Austrian restauranteur had to snagglepus, exit stage left, outta Russia. We'll let you know how this affects the quality of Figaro. Occasional shortages can be disappointing when they're out of your favorite dish. Nothing else we can think of, except maybe the unfortunate mid-August opening date. See Lionel's review
M:Chekhovskaya
Phone:200-6683
Address:Strastnoi bulvar 16/27
Hours:12.00-2.00 (until 3.00 Fri-Sat)
Giardino Italiano
$$$
Cheers: Outstanding upscale Italian option just beyond the Garden Ring. Superb carpaccio, genuine al dente pasta, and everything you've come to expect from Italian desserts. Damn fine coffee and wine list.
Jeers:The price is the only real obstacle.
M:Leninsky Prospekt
Phone: 958-1509
Address:Leninsky pr. 37
Hours: 12.00-24.00
Grazti
$$$
Cheers:Delicious garlicky pesto sauce served free with bread; decent Caesar salad that will please dates; hearty Italian soups; respectable panini for lunch. Definitely eat the "warm chocolate with englace" ($12), a warm brownie baked fresh smothered in a vanilla sauce. Serve California wines.
Jeers:But it's Fetzer, and it's $35 a bottle, even though they sell it for $3.95 at Von's. Pasta dishes pretty uninspired. Waiters go nuts with parmesan cheese when they grate it on your food. Italian chef hasn't arrived yet, so things may change when he comes a-rockin'.
M:Belorusskaya
Phone:258-3000
Address:Ulitsa Pervaya Tverskaya-yamskaya 34 (Hotel Tverskaya, 2nd floor)
Hours:12.00-23.00
Il Pomodoro
$$$
Cheers: The breadsticks are still free. Nice trattoria atmosphere; good wine list. Try the eggplant or cold-cut appetizers. Oddly, the bean and pasta soup seems actually to have improved somewhat. We're still holding out hope for the pesto.
Jeers: We've heard all the rumors about slipping quality, and unfortunately they're basically true, as was evidenced by the nearly deserted dining room during a recent Friday dinner "rush." Mixed green salad a shadow of its former self; once-superb pastas have assumed on a pasty Chefboyardee quality.
M: Sukharevskaya
Phone: 924-2931
Address: Bolshoi Golovin Per. 5
Hours: 12.00 - 23.00
La Cipolla D'oro
$$$
Cheers:Some delicious concoctions including bresaola rolls with goat cheese mousse and nuts, grouper-stuffed panzerotti with eggplant sauce and desserts. Homemade pasta good...when not overcooked.
Jeers:The penne with duck in balsamic vinegar sauce was kafkaesque, while the "dorade" filet was also kafkaesque. Overpriced, kafkaesque entrees are a no-no.
M:Prospect Mira ( Radialnaya)
Phone:281-9498
Address:Gilyarovskogo Ul. 39
Hours: 11.00 - 23.00
Mario's
$$$$
Cheers:Our GenCounsel Snideman sez it's a winner with dyev-u-dates, even if he winces at the bill. Impressive wine list, cozy patio dining. Bresaola was mouthwateringly good.
Jeers: They sell $5 kiosk wine for $60--and it tastes like Bangladeshi Kool-Aid. Waitstaff seems nervous and abused. Pretentious customers fond of bringing in their groomed poodles in designer pakety. Mushy pasta and chef-boy-ar-ski sauces.Slide your mouse over to Lionel's shocking review.
M:Ulitsa 1905
Phone:253-6505
Address:Ulitsa Klimashkina 17
Hours: 13.00-24.00
Maxima Pizza
$$
Cheers: Maxima now offers comfy patio seating and free parking! Solid north-lying middle-class pizza joint has opened up a second room, giving you more room to stretch out and enjoy the food, even if the middle class is allegedly gone. Standard pizzas cost as little as $4.50 (including some good spicy numbers) or $2 for 15cm personal jobbies; cheap-ass beer and wine. The pastas have improved. All-U-can-eat salad bar still cuts the mustard.
Jeers:Dark-paneled interior seems like a Pizza Hut designed by a manic-depressive; polo-shirted waitstaff tries hard but not as helpful as they could be. Prices on pitchers of beer represent no savings from the regular half-liter charge. We don't like the sound of "Sea surprise manicotti" one bit.
M:Sokol
Phone:152-0837
Address:Leningradsky Prospekt, 78
Palazzo
$$$
Cheers:Marble-heavy palatial interior lets those with the dough eat in style. Exquisite prosciutto e melone; good tagliatelle and house wine selections. Veal filet in red wine sauce could be a contenda'; impressive desserts such as an unusually and good tiramisu and crepes with ice cream and fresh berries.
Jeers:Definitely overpriced, however. Beef carpaccio that's tasteless and nearly frozen; stodgy risotto; disappointing asparagus soup and by-the-bottle wine list. Unexplainable geographical shenanigans going on with a head chef purportedly from the northern Switzerland-bordering province of Umbria (pull out your map of Italy if you don't understand why this is absurd). See Lionel's reader-friendly review.
M:Kuznetsky Most
Phone:925-1729
Address:Kuznetsky Most 19
Hours:12.00 - 00.00
Patio Pizza
$$
Cheers: Patio Pizza now boasts some cheap-O lunch specials for as low as six bucks! Also, the Intourist location is now just as customer-friendly as the PP on Volkhonka. Large, improved salad bar kept fresher and better than bafore. One of Moscow's first semi-budget dining establishments; create-your-own-pizzas.
Jeers:San Marco's pizza is still tastier.
M:Kropotkinskaya; Okhotny Ryad
Phone:298-2530; 292-0891
Address:Volkhonka 13A; Tverskaya 3
Hours: 12.00 - 00.00
Pyrrhus
$$ - $$$
Cheers:Middle-of-the-road, affordable Italian in a decidedly above-average setting; try the baked eggplant appetizer or super-rich fettucine gorgonzola. Refreshing gazpacho is a must. Good coffee.
Jeers:Lame duck entree; Stuart Pratt complains of limited pasta selections. Occasionally clientele leans toward the dorkadent. See Lionel's Homeric review.
M:Arbatskaya
Phone:203-2137
Address:Bolshaya Nikitskaya, 19
Hours: 12.00-24.00
Pizza Express
$$
Cheers: They've opened a new central location across from Detsky Mir! Tasty, well-prepared gourmet-style yuppie pizza. Whallops the competition with its fresh ingredients and choice herbs and spices and crispy crust. Superb lasagna with lots of baked-on crispy bits, pungent garlic bread sticks. Impressive desserts, especially the chocolate cake. Decent house wine, Baltika on tap.
Jeers:Smallish portions; live jazz most hours may upset vulgarian eXholes. We were wrong about them stealing their concept from the California Pizza Kitchen. And we don't like being wrong.
Read Lionel's review.
M:Smolensksya
Phone:937-8100
Address:3-5 Smolenskaya pl. (Smolensky Passage)
Hours:12.00 - 24.00
Pizza World
$$
Cheers:Thin-crust Italian-style pizza is right on and way affordable; we liked the Mexican fajitas number. The all-you-can-eat salad bar is like Omaha meets Omsk (we mean that in a good way).
Jeers:The interior is more Pizza Hut than Pizza Hut is-makes you feel like you're trapped somewhere in Indiana. $4 shakes taste like they're made with Nestle Quik instead of ice cream and gave one of our team a stomach ache. The sad Bob Dylan clown with the bass drum strapped to his back depressed us.
M:Smolensksya
Phone:241-2716
Address:6a Smolenskaya pl.
Hours: 12.00-24.00
Rossini Vivace Hall
$$$
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Jeers:Some dishes skirt la terre du bland; the coffee comes from one of those multi-purpose cafeteria contraptions. We have to protest the Hollinger-esque photos currently on display in the galleryt on principle alone.
M:Mayakovskaya
Phone:785-0260/1
Address:Ul. Gasheka 7 (Ducat Place II)
Hours:12.00 - 23.00 (Vivace: buffet dinner 19.00 - 24.00)
San Marco
$$
Cheers:The charming Old Arbat location has been remont-ed to give the place a more contemporary look...they even remedied that pesky toilet issue. Food that's as good as ever-luscious carpaccio with pesto, super Carbonara, a hearty duck-n-mushroom risotto, heavenly tiramisu. Fra Diabolical pizza with spicy Italian sausage is still a favorite. And at $10 per liter, the carafes of house wine are still a steal. Copious outdoor seating great for people-watching.
Jeers:OK, here's the deal on the mystery oven: it's not really a brick oven at all, but some special convection thingy we don't quite understand. At any rate, overheating concerns forbid its use during the summer months, and the regular oven doesn't quite have the juice to do a properly crisp crust-you might want to keep that in mind when ordering.
M:Arbatskaya
Phone:291-7089
Address:Ulitsa Arbat 25
Hours: 12.00 - 23.00
Sbarro
$
Cheers:The more attractive Manezh Mall location is now open. Great Italian Kwik Eatz option offers everything you've ever loved about American mall food. Good pizza and lasagna; outstanding desserts. High grease factor covers for when the ingredients aren't up to snuff.
Jeers:Spinach in the stuffed pizza and vegetarian lasagna could be better. Pasta dishes don't stand up well to the reheat-and-sit-out-in-metal-serving-pan treatment.
M:Okhotny Ryad/Komsomolskaya
Phone:150-5706/8792
Address:Manezh Mall Complex/Staropetrovsky proyezd 7a
Hours: 10.00 - 24.00
Spago
$$$
Cheers:Gorgeous Melrose Ave. interior and delicious pasta and seafood dishes to match. Our reviewer was especially gaga over the unusual swordfish dish; super duper tiramisu disappears quicker than little red hats at a Shriners' convention. Good coffee. Has no connection with the pretentious Hollywood eatery, so your conscience is clear.
Jeers:Like at most Italian places in Moscow, meat entrees aren't so exciting; the sloppily dressed may feel out of place.
M:Lubyanka
Phone:921-3797
Address:Bolshoy Zlatoustinsky per. 1
Hours: 11.00 - 23.00
Stella
$$
Cheers: Whoah, daddy! Stella has been taken over by the fellas who brought you Angelico's and Rossini's, and boy has it improved. At a recent business lunch, we sampled some of the best gnocchi we'd had in ages. Fine service. Has outdoor seating good for Kuznetsky Most people scanning. We'll need to try more dishes, but so far, so promising.
Jeers:Overpriced bottled water and beverages. Supposedly got rid of the gnocci. Also, management claims that eXile readership is not its clientele, meaning U the eXhole may not be welcome here.
M:Kuznetsky Most
Phone:924-2058
Address:ulitsa Pushechnaya 7/5
Hours: 12.00 - 00.30
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