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low-yield murder |
"skull-brain trauma" |
podyezd |
really stupid criminal |
children |
cries for help ignored |
murder-suicide |
"investigation continuing" |
carved up like a turkey |
related to victim's job |
cannibalism |
riddled with bullets |
old people |
"Mark Ames" |
Jumping Junkies
Last Monday, the 18th, cops in the Butirsky region were treated to a bummer of truly monstrous proportions when a deranged heroin addict started yet another new Russian criminal trend, that of the junkie-murderer
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I don't know why my horrifically ugly face is in Death Porn! |
self-defenestrator. At about 9:00 p.m. that night, a young man named Ilya (cops have yet to release his full name) hit up his twentysomething married neighbors for money to buy drugs. When the wife refused, the junkie went mental, barging into the house, grabbing a kitchen knife, and stabbing everything in sight-wife and her couch-bound, snoozing husband alike. Spurting blood from exposed arteries in their chests and arms, the couple stumbled out of the apartment, screaming and panting in their final death-throes, parting ways on the stairwell. The woman climbed upwards to the seventh floor, buzzed a friend's doorbell, whispered "Ilya killed me" and died. The man made it one floor down, to the third, before he died. Meanwhile the neighbors had called the police, who arrived on the scene to find the junkie-assassin locked in the victims' apartment. Refusing all entreaties to surrender, he turned on the gas on the stove, threatening to poison everyone in the building. Police were forced to shut off the gas main outside and try another tack. The killer's parents were brought in and askd to negotiate their son's surrender by phone. The son still refused. Frustrated, police grabbed a battering ram and started breaking the door down. Preferring death to being taken ito custody, the junkie jumped headfirst off the 4th-story balcony, landing in a pile of glass panes. To his horror, he lived, and is now in custody, suffering from mulitple broken bones and facing a long time in the hell of Russian prisons. Then, on the next day-this is according to Moskovsky Komsomolets-- another junkie in another part of town murdered another couple, this one an elderly one, and was just barely talked out of jumping off a 12th-story ledge. Maybe this is the new thing this year, flying junkies. We'll keep you informed.
New Kids on the Cell Block
Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. A fine expression, but it
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Of course I shagged her! I shagged her rotten, baby! |
doesn't have anything to do with a pair of pubescent numbskulls from Tomsk who committed what may be the dumbest crime Russia has seen so far this year. According to Kriminalnaya Khronika, the whole mess started when a certain Stanislav Shuminshev, 15, borrowed 1500 rubles-that's right, less than a $100-from a friend. When he found himself unable to pay back the money, he decided, logically enough, to steal the money. The only problem was, he didn't have a weapon to commit a serious robbery with. Fortunately, around that time, a schoolmate named Pavel Doroshenko bragged that he had a pistol at home. Intrigued, Shuminshev and his 13 year-old friend Alexander Zaitsev hatched a plan. They decided to steal Doroshenko's pistol, and set to plotting the crime down to the last detail. Deciding to use choloform, the two spent two weeks running around the courtyard of their apartment complexes practicing the chloroforming technique-on cats. For some reason, however, the chloroform didn't work, and the cats kept shaking their heads and running away. So they made the plan simpler, and just went over Doroshenko's house and stabbed him 108 times. Now they were free to rob the place! But wouldn't you know it, it turned out Doroshenko never had a gun. Oh, well. The kids scooped up a VCR and some other crap in their blood-soaked hands and split. They were arrested later that day. Both will probably do over ten years in correctional homes and prisons.
Weird Science
Here's a story we're not sure what to make of...They've got a new serial
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Okay, left hand, blue...right foot, yellow...right hand, green... |
maniac down there in Stavropol, which isn't normally big news, since the Stavropol-Voronezh-Rostov area has always been a breeding ground for serial creeps. The only difference is, this one isn't a killer or a rapist.. What he is is a guy who walks around in broad daylight, accosting women in crowds on the street, and surreptitiously giving them needle injections of a drug called Calipsol, an anesthetic used in operations of short duration. The women pass out in a euphoric high for twenty minutes or so, then wake up feeling woozy, having been neither robbed nor molested. According to police, at least a half dozen women have been "victims" of this strange narco-Santa, but the actual number of victims is unknown, since authorities feel sure many women were not even aware they'd been forcibly drugged.
Slow Service
Get this. According to Komsomolskaya Pravda, a new low was struck last week
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The Vologda oblast cafe where Sergei Menshikov was killed. |
when patrons of a Volgda cafe were so indifferent to a murder at a neighboring table that they went on eating and left the body there for several hours, until closing time! It happened at the cafe "Khokhloma", a nice middle-class eatery, where 45 year-old Sergei Menshikov went to see a friend to whom he owed money. The coversation turned bad, and the friend pulled out a hunting knife and stabbed Menshikov in the heart. He died instantly as the crowd silently looked on. The killer got away and it was business as usual, as the restaurant remained open, bleeding corpse and all, for hours. Next in line!
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