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Broke the Koch Brothers' Takeover of America
Fatwah / January 16, 2009
By Mark Ames

Has anyone noticed the ugly reality captured in the so-called “Miracle on the Hudson”? One of the first photos shows that first class passengers were offered first-class rafts to ensure that they’d survive in comfort, while the economy class passengers were forced out onto the metal wings to fend for themselves. Kinda sorta looks a lot like a metaphor for the financial crisis. “Miracle” our ass–this is just flat reality in 21st century America.

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  • 1. Tommy  |  January 16th, 2009 at 6:57 am

    That’s because there’s a raft built into the door there. It’s not feasible for a window exit on the wing.

    Can we have more photos of Russians girls instead?

  • 2. rreis  |  January 16th, 2009 at 7:23 am

    Those are not rafts… those are the escape rubber slides…

  • 3. Adam Crosby  |  January 16th, 2009 at 8:06 am

    I know you hate the rich, white establishment, but thats kind of bullshit. Those aren’t rafts, if you ever pay attention to the emergency landing stuff. They’re inflatable SLIDES, designed to let people out of the plane if it landed somewhere in an emergency (or, say there’s a fire on the tarmac), and there is no time to get the ladders in place to step down.
    The rear doors on the A320 (currently SUBMERGED in that picture) also have the inflatable slides on them that automatically deploy when the door is open. The wings also have them – in fact, some people there are standing on the slide in front of the wing (right under the ‘U.S.’ on the cabin).
    You can see this happen here:

  • 4. Paul  |  January 16th, 2009 at 8:37 am

    you pay, you play
    Done, have a nice day

  • 5. wengler  |  January 16th, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I don’t think those are actually meant to be rafts but rather the inflatable slides that deploy to facilitate an emergency exit on land.

    If there had been a fire however, the wing is NOT where I would want to be.

  • 6. Jane  |  January 16th, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Actually, if you listen to the survivors, a lot of people from the main cabin are on the rafts. People who went back into the plane or weren’t able to fit onto the wings wound up in the rafts. It only looks like it’s segregated because the slides on the front and back of the plane become rafts while the ones over the wings do not.

  • 7. dermotmoconnor  |  January 16th, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Thanks Mark,

    Once again the exile cuts through the Mainstram Media indoctrination.

    When the dam breaks, and the plebs realise that they have no chance of getting “bumped up” to first class, things should get ugly in the land of the free – very quickly.

    This is just another reason to boycott air travel in favour of rail & bus. FYI, it’s possible to travel by cargo ship – cabins are available. Google “travel by cargo ship” for more information.

    How else to hurt these bastards, other than in their pocket-books?

  • 8. TL  |  January 16th, 2009 at 11:10 am

    This is the most asinine opinion ever. I’ve pretty sure that there are life rafts at the back of the airplane for the rear doors. you don’t see them because tail of the aircraft is under the water. Secondly if the rear doors were to be opened, water would fill the hull of the airplane, which would cause it to sink to the bottom of the river much faster.

    The reason why first class exitson the life rafts is because the front doors, the doors with rafts, are located at the front of the airplane. There are no life rafts over the wings. The rafts serve a dual purpose, rafts and emergency exit slides. There is no need for an exit slide over a wing. The passengers in coach get off at the middle of the aircraft because it’s the nearest exit out of the sinking airplane.

    Please use some common sense before you post comments again.

  • 9. Nospam  |  January 16th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Copy #3

    The “life-rafts” deploy automatically out of the exits on the front AND the rear of the plane once an armed door is opened. On the ground they double as emergency slides. However, there should also be overwing slides on the A320.

  • 10. Tim  |  January 16th, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Please don’t be a hyperboling conspiracy nut if you want to be taken serious by non malcontents.

  • 11. arthur doohan  |  January 16th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Now now Markie, don’t be so snarky!
    For 1, the rear emergency doors with matching rafts/slides couldnt be used cos of being underwater
    For 2, you are assuming that there was some form of discrimination by the cabincrew

    Nice metaphor re finance but this piece of potstirring damages your fine rep for BSdetection

    Later dude when you have got down from your high horse….

  • 12. Nimeh  |  January 16th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Pretty sloppy Mark. There are rafts/chutes for the rear doors, but due to the fact the tail end sank down quite quickly, they couldn’t open the doors to activate them. Not that anyone sane would want to flood an aircraft that’s still floating!

    If the plane had come in at a slightly different angle (nose first), the guys in the rear would probably be the ones laughing.

  • 13. Lighty  |  January 16th, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Squarely fucked Mark. You gotta take the rough with the smooth.

  • 14. Steve M  |  January 16th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    When there’s limited resources, of course the rich should have first call – that’s only natural. Exile writers, on the other hand, should not be allowed to leave the plane at all.

  • 15. Pyotr Stepanovich Verkhovensky  |  January 16th, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    You’re all a bunch of killjoys, really. This picture was priceless.

  • 16. Dima  |  January 16th, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    The only ugly reality here, Mark, is that you can’t deal with being a nobody. Do you know why you don’t fly first class? It’s not because the establishment is keeping you down. It’s because people don’t want what you produce enough to pay you that kind of money.

    And that would be OK, if you didn’t whine so much. Some people choose to make goods and services that people want, and sell them for money, and other people choose to do a lot of drugs and fucking, while creating not very much. Your whining suggests that you’re not so sure anymore that you’ve picked the right path.

    I used to admire you (back when The Exile was good), but now I’m just wondering if it’s possible to have fun in life and not end up a sad whiny bitch like you.

  • 17. Tim  |  January 17th, 2009 at 2:04 am

    Priceless or not, in this case i wasn’t completely shure of the sarcasm.

  • 18. Partizan_Belgrade  |  January 17th, 2009 at 3:47 am

    They say a picture paints a thousand words.

    That photo sums up the current predicament of the US of A. Sinking and fast :)))

    Couldnt happen to a nicer crowd.

  • 19. Rob  |  January 17th, 2009 at 9:09 am

    Of course rich people are more important than a pack of economy class losers. Their time is worth more, they pay more taxes and thereby finance the livelihood of half the economy class losers.

    I’ll add that the above is obvious to everyone EXCEPT economy class losers.

  • 20. ash  |  January 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    all of these comments are missing the point 🙂

  • 21. Pyotr Stepanovich Verkhovensky  |  January 17th, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Neither was I, Tim. This is unadulterated Amesian cynicism. He’s on a roll, it seems.

  • 22. Plamen Petkov  |  January 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    sometimes it’s better to read instead

  • 23. Dammerung  |  January 17th, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Who cares if he’s FACTUALLY wrong? Narratives remain long after FACTS have dried up and blown away. A good story will get you farther than trivial knowledge any day of the week. That’s what you plebs need to figure out and utilize.

  • 24. DocAmazing  |  January 17th, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    I’ll add that the above is obvious to everyone EXCEPT economy class losers.

    And to those of us busy oiling up Madame Guillotine.

  • 25. Khaled  |  January 17th, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Hehe Mark, admit it, you’re just disappointed it’s just a stupid accident and not a terrorist attack…

  • 26. Paul  |  January 18th, 2009 at 3:37 am

    The rich are more important cause they pay higher taxes???
    Well in the civilised world yes, but this is the US of A we’re talking about, the land where the top 1% of the population owns 80% of the wealth and pays 1/10 of the taxes…
    But no worries, trickle-down economics will save the day yet again.

  • 27. geo8rge  |  January 18th, 2009 at 8:19 am

    So why can’t jets land on the water? It would save alot of money on airports. Just equip them with skii thingies instead of wheels.

  • 28. Dr. BlueVeinervich  |  January 18th, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    Yeah, typical Ames. Wish I had 1/100th of his talent, but instead, all I got is this comment section to post on. Oh well. Yo’ Mark, just want you to know that I’m a stalker, sort of like that woman in Misery. I have these delusions that you and I are so alike, and that you are actually influenced by me. Readers: I submitted an article to this chump (Ames)at the old ‘Exile’. He stole my content and idea for an article w/o so much as a kudo. Don’t believe me? Well fine then, fuck you. There are aliens watching me. And I know who was behind 9/11. Anyway I am still hanging around Moscow like a crusty old piece of shit, I never got anything going so what else can I do? Meanwhile, there’s Ames writing for Playboy, The Nation, having a BBC documentary filmed about his book…I’m going to kill myself now.

  • 29. aleke  |  January 19th, 2009 at 12:09 am

    Either way, kill the rich

  • 30. Truth  |  January 19th, 2009 at 4:59 am

    Man, I bet you feel really stupid now. Your jumpy conspiracy bullshit has worked its way round the net. Next time, engage brain before operating keyboard.

  • 31. goat_farmers_of_the_CIA  |  January 19th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Actually, there are jet seaplanes called Ground Effect Aircraft, or ekranoplans,
    but they have drawbacks that keep them from being popular.

  • 32. Joe Blow  |  January 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am

    I heard that they charged $763 to get in a raft but only $129.99 to get on the wing.

    Jumping in the water was free.

  • 33. Eric  |  January 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 am

    Hey, why is there no acknowledgment of the facts stated by various commenters, that the wing rafts/slides are simply submerged? I love this site and it sucks to see something that is obvious bullshit go unfixed.

  • 34. Freddie  |  January 24th, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    This ridiculous post is a sad decline from your previous excellent articles and interviews on the war in Georgia.

    The “miracle” everyone refers to is the fact they all survived. As for your “21st century America” comment, 99% of the world’s airlines offer first class seating up front.

    If you stick with facts and control your personal issues, you can write good articles and won’t make a fool of yourself.

  • 35. Kevin  |  January 25th, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    God Mark I’ll bet you miss Russia even more after reading these comments from well-fed american assholes. What the fuck is the matter with you people? Are you rich? No, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. Have you leared anything from this crisis? The rich are spending your bailout money on $150 Moldovan snapper and all you do is justify the rich getting a raft? This is why you yanks won’t weather this crisis. You trust the rich while you should be torching their homes with their crackhead kids inside. You still think the rich are generous and help the little guy. They’re not. They used to build, now they destroy, because they can. The Russians are smart: they trust nobody, so when they get screwed they are prepared. SOrry Mark this comment isn’t as good as the old Exile ones from the 90s.

  • 36. Joe Blow  |  January 30th, 2009 at 7:58 am

    did you cut the cheese with that whine?

    waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nothing’s the same waaaaaaaaaaa

  • 37. SisterMorphine  |  January 31st, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    God damn, a witty commentary *might* have fallen astray of reality and you lot respond with vitriol and bile.

    Plus, even if Ames is wrong, these perplexing responses reek of the American disease: the inexplicable need to justify gross income disparity and obscene plutocracy, regardless of income or class status.

  • 38. Oh_Joy  |  February 17th, 2009 at 7:57 am

    1 Way ticket into the Hudson: $1000
    Standing on the Wing: $129
    Sitting in the Escape-Tube: $763

    Reading the comments here: Priceless!

  • 39. Green  |  April 6th, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Everybody on that plane was upper class.

    What person can afford $200 to get from one place to another who is in the bottom %99 of the world. By the way, anybody with internet(the system you are using to read this with) is filthy loaded compared to some of us who live on $1 a day.

  • 40. Maher  |  May 30th, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    That is some real shit class there

  • 41. FCKBECK  |  May 5th, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Look, the Beck mutants discovered airplanes …precious.

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