Could anything be more frightening than the thought of Russian service becoming as full of gushing smiles, how-can-I-help-yous and have-a-nice-days as the average California juice shop? We at the eXile believe that the final death blow to the Russian soul will come not from a glut of bad action films or rampant criminal capitalism, but rather from customer service hotlines. That’s why, when we heard that the world’s most notorious airline, Aeroflot, started up a special phone number for English-speaking customers who wanted to vent their complaints, we decided to act. Do they have any idea how annoying customer service can be? Now they will.
Posing as Ugly American businessman Sam Weiss, we called Aeroflot’s customer complaint hotline (752-9073) and unloaded a barrage of petty, annoying complaints on the innocent customer service helper. (more…)
I can tell you God’s plan for this place very concisely: God created this place as a critique of me. – John Dolan I hate this time of the year. Being stuck in the Moscow heat is like unpaid overtime…
Whenever they travel overseas, most Americans are aware that the locals hate them, but few know why. Usually Americans ascribe bad blood to jealousy. Iranian flag-burning mobs? Uneducated, unfortunate and misguided people, afraid of progress. Okinawans? Sore losers, still mad…
This is the cover of Issue # 8 of The eXile, published May 1997.
Virtually every unmarried person-and certainly every unmarried man-who reads Moscow newspapers knows what he’s looking at when he sees an ad for “Massage.” Though The Moscow Times long ago disposed of the word in favor of the even more meaningless…
Almost two years ago, on the eve of the 50th anniversary of Russia’s victory over the Nazis, I experienced the quintessential evening of Moscow Decadence. It began at around midnight in the parking lot of the Young Pioneer’s stadium. My…
While the United States is beginning to dominate the loony suicidal cult market, Russia is rapidly replacing America as the serial murder capital of the world. First Andrei Chikatilo set the modern record for serial murder victims by killing 53…
