www.exiledonline.com
eXile Classic

(Articles sorted by the date they were added to The eXiled archives, not their original publish dates.)

Cover of Issue #137 of The eXile

This article was first published in the March 21, 2002 issue of The eXile.

Hot on the heels of the the Homeland’s latest impluse-buy publishing hit, 1776 Things to Love About America, the eXile decided to put in its own 911 cents. Our agents think this things going to sell and sell and sell… but that’s not why we did it. We did it because this is how we as Americans feel deep inside. Take a gander! (more…)

Posted on: September 12th, 2009 | Comments (18)

Lord Byron: The eXile’s Patron Saint

“Polidori once asked Byron what, besides scribble verses, he could do better than Polidori himself. Byron icily replied: ‘Three things. First, I can hit with a pistol the keyhole of that door. Secondly, I can swim across that river to …

Posted on: November 2nd, 2009 | Comments (6)

David Brooks Blows Bobos: An Exile Classic

This article was first published in The eXile on June 22, 2000.

Reading Bobos in Paradise, I realized that it’s not so hard to make money by writing: all you have to do is suck and swallow several million people at …

Posted on: October 19th, 2009 | Comments (15)

Exile Classic: Introducing The Schopenhauer Awards

The eXile is proud to present a new feature that we hope will entertain and educate you, the knowledge-hungry eXhole. In each issue we’ll introduce you to a new species we’ve nominated for the Schopenhauer Award. We’re going to focus …

Posted on: October 17th, 2009 | Comments (5)

90 Reasons To Hate The 1990s: An eXile Classic

This article was first published in The eXile on December 2, 2005.

Everything about Russia in the 90s was cool. We mean everything.

America in the 90s, on the other hand, offers plenty to hate to the spleen-endowed eXhole. Problem is, you’re …

Posted on: October 14th, 2009 | Comments (33)

Exile Classic: The Economist: The World’s Sleaziest Magazine

This article was first published in The eXile on September 7, 2007.

Here’s a real-life superhero dilemma: What do you do when you’re the world’s most powerful news and opinion magazine, carrying the English-language torch of freedom on behalf of your …

Posted on: October 14th, 2009 | Comments (13)

Exile Classic (The War Nerd): Nepal: Peace, Love, Massacres

This article was first published in The eXile on November 27, 2002

Ever wanna go to Kathmandu? Not me. I was never a hippie. The hippie types always talked about heading off to Nepal for spiritual enlightenment, but it sounded …

Posted on: October 12th, 2009 | Comments (27)

Exile Classic: How I Won The Afghanistan War

This article was originally published in The eXile on November 29, 2001.

Now that we stomped the dust monkeys, our only casualty being that helicopter wheel that the Taliban danced around while firing their AKs in the air, I have to …

Posted on: October 9th, 2009 | Comments (1)

Exile Classic: The American Left’s Sleazy War On Michael Moore

This article was first published in The eXile on July 8, 2004

Much has been said over the past week about the final collapse of the Russian Left-opposition. Even a neo-con like Michael McFaul publicly lamented (through crocodile tears) …

Posted on: October 5th, 2009 | Comments (18)

And The Wall Carpets Come Tumbling Down

This article was first published in The eXile, April 2008

Last summer, The eXile took a safari journey in search of the legendary Gopniki, Russia’s underworld answer to the OGs of South Central, Long Beach, and …

Posted on: April 11th, 2008 | Comments (1)

The Ghosts Of 9/11: An eXile Classic

This article was first published in the September 6, 2002 issue of The eXile.

AN OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD EXILE EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT THE UNSUNG GHOST-HEROES OF 9/11!
MIKE BERRINGER

Mike was always the hard charger, the sparkplug of his 77th-floor accounting office. He …

Posted on: September 11th, 2009 | Comments (17)

Yair Klein: Russia’s “Other” Viktor Bout

Klein on Columbian TV a few months before his arrest in Moscow

Two weeks ago, while all eyes were focused on the case of international arms dealer Viktor Bout, I spent about five hours at the Moscow City Court …

Posted on: March 28th, 2008 | Comments (1)

How I Harassed The Working Class: Dr. Dolan’s Skirmish With Poet Jim Daniels

This is an eXile classic, first published in The eXile on March 6, 2002.

I‘m a harasser. Put the cuffs on me; I harassed the working class. And it wasn’t even fun. It’s not like I groped …

Posted on: March 6th, 2002 | Comments (16)

Feature Story: Extreme Murse-Over

All these years, I’ve been wondering to myself, “What’s wrong with Russians? What’s with their strange Byzantine ways? And what the fuck is the deal with that murse thing?”

“Murse?” you ask. The stubby little word may sound unfamiliar, but …

Posted on: August 11th, 2006 | Comments (2)

Winter Fashion Guide: Shapka Shopping

(a.k.a. Yakov Borisovich Levandovsky)

I came back from vacation this week and found myself urgently in need of a warm winter shapka. I lost my last one after I gave it to some guy in exchange for a bottle of farewell Putinka vodka. …

Posted on: January 14th, 2008 | Comments (1)