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Class War Heroes / March 4, 2009
By Team eXiled

Sucker Stamp Award: Juan Jose Luna

Juan Jose Luna was an early contender for to the “Class War Hero” category. Judging by the mug shot, the Ivy Leaguers would have nothing to do with him, but he was smart enough to see the crash coming way before anyone else did and took no time deciding to do something about it, too. His plan was simple:  burn down his foreclosed home and collect fire insurance.  All this was back in the summer of 2007. But the plan backfired, literally.

Luna sloshed gasoline throughout the house, then stood at the back door with a cigarette lighter. The lighter’s flame set off an explosion that pushed the homes walls out 2 feet and blew the back door against Luna’s hand, nearly severing two fingers.

Only earthquake strapping kept the walls from being blown down, a Sutter County Fire Department lieutenant said at an earlier court hearing.

The explosion sent glass flying 90 feet. Neighbors found Luna in the area with two fingers hanging by strips of flesh and others broken.

He was out a house, his two fingers and was about to lose his liberty. But even then, he didn’t give up.

A crew member of a helicopter that took Luna to a Sacramento hospital noticed his clothes smelled of gasoline. Luna asked to have them thrown away.

Luna had $8,000 in cash with him.

The paramedics, nothing more than glorified male nurses if you think about it, refused to help out a brother in need and delivered this Class War Hero to the police.

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  • 1. littlebigman  |  March 4th, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    …what seriously? He was smart enough to see the crisis coming, yet he managed to incriminate himself so thoroughly.

    Probably not the best example to follow if you want to stick it to the man.

  • 2. Harv  |  March 4th, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    he fucked up

  • 3. 16 Shells from a 30.06  |  March 4th, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    If there’s a Class War, dude was cannon fodder.

  • 4. Orthodoxy  |  March 4th, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Personally I’d prefer an urban/suburban variation on 30’s era farm sit-ins and dollar auctions. This just seems a bit too messy.

  • 5. Magni  |  March 5th, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Should have blown up the bank instead.

  • 6. happyhead  |  March 5th, 2009 at 8:46 am

    This is a man with his fingers on the pulse of the market.

  • 7. Jack Boot  |  March 6th, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Oh, well; at least base-8 math will come easily to him now…

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