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The Daily Inquisition / September 16, 2008

Today’s Defendant: Cancer

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor:  Reports have reached us of a “breakthrough” in the treatment of Cancer via the extirpation of cancer stem-cells.

This must not be. The Economist, the demonic publication gloating of this “breakthrough,” dares to call cancer cells “the root of all evil.” Ah, no! The unending, unchastened vanity of the Anglos is, as ever, its true root; cancer is in fact one of the few remaining foes of that vanity, the last form of humility still practiced in the first world. As one “Blog about Cancer” naively says, “Cancer does not care if you are famous or not!”

Cancer is the guardian angel of the most despicable celebrities, ending their time on stage when, left to themselves, they would infest the earth In aeternum.

Since the first King slaughtered his slaves and other livestock in the hope of bribing the voracious Pagan gods, the mighty have been humbled only at the moment of death. Emperors, Viziers, Witch-Kings all spilled the blood of their slaves, only to find that the tumors growing in their brains and bellies were not to be placated by even the grandest hecatombs.

The death of a tumor-ridden celebrity, wasted by rebel cells whose mad self-reproduction mirrors their master’s imposition of his ego on his followers, is one of the last morality plays performed in this vile culture. The slow draining of life from the smuggest, dullest and most pampered of these vampires, as in the slow death of George Harrison, “The Bland Beatle,” is a deeply satisfying, ennobling spectacle. What a mad assassin could not manage, a few insurgent cell-blobs did, stealing everything the craven Harrison had hoarded on earth.

When cancer is gone, the last avenue of divine intervention will have been blocked. Now, while there is time, let there be an “inquisition” as the vulgar understand the term: a spasm of cleansing violence against all the heretics in white coats who are striving to make the kings and powers of earth immortal. And those who dare not take up the brand and the pike, let them pray for the survival of cancer. Hail Cancer, patron of humility!

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