Reno 911! In Vegas: Deputy S. Jones Plows Patrol Car Into White Trash at 109 MPH In Residential Zone
Posted on: May 21st, 2009 | Leave Comment
The Daily Inquisition
Posted on: May 4th, 2009 | Leave Comment
Posted on: May 1st, 2009 | Leave Comment
Today’s Topic: In semi-praise of Down by the River.
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: As we have ruled earlier, there are few good books. Down by the River by Charles Bowden, a meandering and disorganized collection …
Posted on: January 21st, 2009 | Comments (15)
An Old Wacko Makes Us Proud to Be American
We don’t know what America’s poets are doing today, but we know what they ought to be doing: composing songs in honor of Robert Sylvester, the aged gunman …
Posted on: January 9th, 2009 | Comments (11)
Today’s Defendant: Pro-drug Journalists
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: You know who we’re talking about. You’ve read them before. They are the boring progressives who cover the War on Drugs. It’s not just a fancy name. It’s a real war with …
Posted on: December 12th, 2008 | Comments (13)
Thanks, Manny!
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: De La Hoya’s been an affront to boxing for years, which is hard to do given the easygoing attitude toward human sin that characterizes the sport, but still he’s managed it by being the …
Posted on: December 8th, 2008 | Comments (3)
Daily Inquisition: Transvestite Porn
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Having made a study of popular porn sharing sites like tube8.com, redtube.com and youporn.com, we have noted a disturbing trend. Gaping holes, ass-to-mouth, and extreme gagging are being eclipsed by …
Posted on: November 20th, 2008 | Comments (14)
Honorable Mention: Blessed are the wind-blown embers.
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Let us start with a fitting quote from yesterday’s LA Times article:
A wind-blown ember can be opportunistic, slipping through tiny breaches …
Posted on: November 19th, 2008 | Comments (4)
The Accused: Raymond “Chuck” Foster, Imperial Wizard of the KKK
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Normally a sad nitwit like Raymond “Chuck” Foster wouldn’t even be worthy of the attention of the eXiled Inquisition Team, but now that he’s managed to …
Posted on: November 14th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Mormon Baptismal Font: plenty of room for everybody.
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We have to admire the sheer chutzpah of the Mormons. Whereas we struggle with faulty humankind, inquisiting people, torturing them, trying to shove them toward the true faith, …
Posted on: November 12th, 2008 | Comments (4)
Today’s Defendant: Mike Williams, resident of Douglas, Arizona
Statement from the Grand Inquisitor: Hard-working people all across Mexico are busting their asses for American consumers. No, we are not talking about the migrant workers cleaning your dishes, picking your grapes or …
Posted on: November 4th, 2008 | Comments (1)
Today’s Defendant: Twitter Twats
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: When you join Twitter you become able to communicate in short bursts of information with many people from your mobile phone or computer. Your phone becomes a vibrating message-whore, hemorrhaging useless torpor-inducing updates from …
Posted on: November 4th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: With one day left before the election, CNN chose as its microcosm of America-at-da-crossroads one Kevin Sheen, a whey-faced Irish-American idiot from the Midwest, who coyly offers his quandriness as an “undecided” voter.
Posted on: November 3rd, 2008 | Leave Comment
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Anyone dressing up as Sarah Palin for Halloween is condemned to waterboarding with extreme prejudice. How we’re going to manage to torture such a huge crowd of morons I don’t know—we’ll have to …
Posted on: October 31st, 2008 | Leave Comment
