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The Daily Inquisition / September 12, 2008

Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The Rev. Fred Phelps is a good Calvinist; no more, no less. All that separates him from America’s other hundred million Calvinist heretics is that Phelps has the courage of his convictions. The rest are not less wicked; they are simply more cowardly.

Phelps is, of course, a man of hate, possessed by loathing for his fellow human beings. Though he became famous for playing on America’s momentary indulgence toward homosexuals, his message is far more balanced and fair; his website features the banner, “God Hates You.” It is worth noting that Phelps began, not as a gay-baiting maniac but as a crusading Civil Rights attorney. When America’s favorite pastime was lynching black people, this was a natural pursuit for a contrarian prophet operating in the hate-filled grasslands of Kansas. Phelps is following Calvin’s simple, Satanic principle: the majority is always wrong, evil and damned. The Church has always wisely avoided attempting to number the Saved and Damned, but Calvin insisted on the distinction between the very, very few who would sit with God and the vast majority whose screams of agony would entertain the Saved through eternity. That was and remains the only true pleasure available to the Calvinist.

So if we are to burn Phelps for his heresies, we must burn the other hundred million American Calvinists in the same pyre.

Which is fine with us.

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