Vanity Fair profiles The eXile: "Gutsy...visceral...serious journalism...abusive, defamatory...poignant...paranoid...and right!"
MSNBC: Mark Ames and Yasha Levine
Broke the Koch Brothers' Takeover of America
The Mexican Drug War / March 31, 2009


Here’s an entertaining/instructional cellphone video that shows one of the Zetas’ more preferred torture methods in action. It is called the tablazo. I wrote about it a few months back:

It comes from the word “tabla,” or “board.” The kidnappers usually have this specially crafted wooden board, a two-by-four with a handle for grip and holes drilled into the main body for less wind resistance. They drop your trousers, bend you over and hit you continuously with the wooden board till your ass turns to purple mush and you are left looking like some diseased red-assed baboon. (The cops here like to use the tablazo, too.)

This particular vid you’ll be watching is very recent and has been making its way around my town of Monterrey. It’s a gentle warning to all the neighborhood kids, I guess. And seems to say, “Hey, don’t get any funny ideas if you work for us you little bitches. Or else you’re gonna be in a world of pain. Or worse.”  The footage shows a few Zetas errand boys that had been stealing from their bosses being taught a lesson with a tablazo. I guess the kids weren’t  stealing very much. They get off pretty light, considering all the nasty shit the Zetas could have done to make their life a living hell. Shit, it’s pretty obvious that the bosses are just having a little fun fucking with them, scaring the youngins shitless. The beating is not even half the bloody carnage one could whip up all over your back, legs and ass with a prolonged tablazo beating.

It’s a little grainy, but it’s the real thing. Enjoy.


As a native of Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, located in northern Mexico, Mr. Montana lives in Gulf Cartel territory. That means the streets belong to the Zetas, a paramilitary organization trained by the Yankees and hired by the Gulf Cartel to keep things civilized and business booming. Read his last dispatch: Shaming The Zetas: Mexican Army Takes Down The Badass Enforcer That Lobbed A Grenade At A U.S. Embassy.

You can reach Pancho at

Read more: , , , , Pancho Montana, The Mexican Drug War

Got something to say to us? Then send us a letter.

Want us to stick around? Donate to The eXiled.

Twitter twerps can follow us at


Add your own

  • 1. aleke  |  March 31st, 2009 at 11:08 am

    Thank you !! Kisses fro m hungary !

  • 2. mx?  |  March 31st, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    auch! I heard about this for years but to see it…damn Im glad it hasnt happened to me.

    random phrase:
    “Aqui las cosas se ganan trabajando mi chavo, no robando”

    loose translation:
    “Here you earn things by working kid, not stealing.

  • 3. supdogg  |  March 31st, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    20 bucks says “Pancho Montana” found this on xvideos under BDSM …

  • 4. Bat-Mite  |  March 31st, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    The cowards at Youtube have already taken it down! Hopefully someone will put it up on one of the other video sites before I lose my hardon.

  • 5. mechagodzilla  |  March 31st, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    Way to go, Google-owned YouTube. Censorship ain’t just a river in China anymore, huh?! Fucking assholes.

  • 6. harv  |  March 31st, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    fuckin youtube fucks

  • 7. WhoCares  |  April 1st, 2009 at 4:43 am

    Reminds me of practices in english or american (cant remember which one) military academies.
    Little soldiers eating soap for saying bad things and gettin beaten the slightest bit of individualism out of them with such tools, that look like oversized wooden ping pong paddles with holes in it.

  • 8. Jay  |  April 1st, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Dónde está el chingado video?

  • 9. jim  |  April 1st, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Why do you guys even post videos like this on YT. You know it’s going to be taken down within a day. I don’t know why people still use YT anyway when there’s tons of video sites out there. And it’s a safe bet most of them aren’t as censor-happy as YT. Put it up on pornhub, there’s more than a few out there (as evidenced in this comment section) who find it pornographic.

  • 10. Tyler Bass  |  April 4th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Pulled and predictably so. The lynch mob at YouTube will shut down people with unpopular opinions not to mention grisly truths in general.

    In the future when you guys want to post content like this, save the video and put it on Liveleak. Those guys run everything, including a video of a Russian nine year-old dying from a heroin overdose.

  • 11. Anonymous  |  May 17th, 2009 at 11:36 am

    ” In the future when you guys want to post content like this, save the video and put it on Liveleak. Those guys run everything, including a video of a Russian nine year-old dying from a heroin overdose. ”


Leave a Comment

(Open to all. Comments can and will be censored at whim and without warning.)


Required, hidden

Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed